The Father Of My 2 Sons Said Am Not Good For Marriage & Now i'm Almost 38- Confused Lady

Date: 13-04-2016 5:04 pm (7 years ago) | Author: CLARA JANCITA
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- at 13-04-2016 05:04 PM (7 years ago)
(f)

Hello Naijapals,

 I must not fail to start by admitting that I committed heavy blunder in my life. I was friends with the father of my boys ( a medical doctor) for 2yrs before I agreed to date him. Back then he worshiped at the same church with me (Dominion City) and I fell for him. That was 11years ago. I am almost 38 now and still single. My story is a long one but I will try to be brief. I met him in church and he asked me out after some few months of being cordial.

I like him and I agreed. In the process i got pregnant for him whc he never denied but he changed after my mum reported us to the church and used our church marriage committee to force him to come and at least pay my dowry so my child will not be born out of wed-luck.
They summoned us and Punished us for rebelling against the rules and regulations of d the church in marriage proceedings. He disgraced my womanhood that day. I would never forget that day all the days of my life. He told d marriage committee dt am not good for him as wife material that he wont marry me but he ll take care of the baby.

He accused me of seducing him which was far from the truth. His anger was because I refused to have an abortion and he accused me of trying to tie him down. he even called my mum a gold digger there. Like joke; like joke he left the church and went back to catholic church but kept sending money.

After 9months i put to bed my son in the hospital whr he works. He kept taking care of us and got me a 2 room apartment at Emene. He even begged me to forgive him that it was shame that made him overreact.

He do visit us time to time taking his son out for shopping. Around 2013, Doc were ejected out of his apartment at Damija trans ekulu by the new owner who bought the house from his former landlord. he packed in with us promising to get a house shortly. I accepted based on my son plea for his daddy and because i thought he was genuinely changed.What happened to me in the process i cant explain. Just found out that i was pregnant for him again. I wept but cant help it. I gave birth to another boy yet not married to him.

He has gotten an apartment around upper chime new haven and moved in leaving me with his two sons to take care of..what ve i done to myself. single mother of two. no husband of my own. He just kept me there and sends money for me and his sons. He is still single and almost 43 yet he keeps saying he is not ready. His mum keeps visiting us and comforting me and honestly, thats what has kept me going.

I have tried to deny him s3x over a long period thinking that it may change him instead he seem to become more distant that when I allow him. at least, when I allow him, he can sometimes spend nights and some weekends now I dont even see him just keep receiving alert every 2 weeks.

I must admit that he takes care of us well but I am not happy. This was not the plans i wanted for my future. I want a real home with proper marriage. I have prayed, I have fasted. i have been faithful. yet no show. plz i need urgent attention on my situation. age is not on my side anymore. pls wat do i do in this situation …


Posted: at 13-04-2016 05:04 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
- dickieponga at 13-04-2016 05:21 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
Why r u asking us wen u have d ansa rite dere in ur hands...?
Obviously ur not marriage material and u still opened dat stinking legs of urs for him to poke and have anoda kid..
I wouldn't marry u mysef, u should be happy dat he takes care of his kids abi na by force to marry u.
Just becos u have his kids doesn't make u marriage material, ur just a baby making material and stop complaining..
U women can be so desperate sometimes... Please continue to open ur legs for him cos man must poke to survive abi no be so...
Some women r wife materials, baby making materials and girfriend materials, it's a shame u fall into d category of baby making material.
Get over it my love..Abi una go kill d guy cos e no wan marry u..?
Posted: at 13-04-2016 05:21 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- kison at 13-04-2016 05:36 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
IN UR NEXT LIFE Be careful, be very very careful,CAREFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...
Posted: at 13-04-2016 05:36 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- gogoman at 13-04-2016 05:41 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
you like him konji na!!!
Posted: at 13-04-2016 05:41 PM (7 years ago) | Grande Master
Reply
- morgrawl231 at 13-04-2016 05:43 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
Still observing d lady in question,,,,
Posted: at 13-04-2016 05:43 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- concentrate at 13-04-2016 05:56 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
Doctors and bankers are known to be promiscuous. i will simple tell you to let him know you want to be happily married and if he still thinks you are not good enough let him know you have decided to move on.
Posted: at 13-04-2016 05:56 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- kabukabu at 13-04-2016 06:34 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
My dear lady. Please, don't be  discouraged. Keep on being a good companion to him and a nice mother to his kids. Don't nag and don't be distressed. In the name of Jesus Christ, you will soon be a proud wife. Give me your name and I will pray with you.
Posted: at 13-04-2016 06:34 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- maizaxx at 13-04-2016 06:35 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
I will tell you what I'll tell my sister. Move on with your life and forget about him and concentrate on giving your children a future, of which when they are grown they will never ever forget you.
Posted: at 13-04-2016 06:35 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Mykie010 at 13-04-2016 07:20 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
Am sorry ,I have no advice for u
Posted: at 13-04-2016 07:20 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- okuboye at 13-04-2016 07:22 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
just calm ! u will get your own husband. its a matter of time. Remember u are after two
Posted: at 13-04-2016 07:22 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Passion8Soul at 13-04-2016 09:11 PM (7 years ago)
(f)
Say NO 2 premarital sex;only those wit long mouth 'll continue hissing n live in ignorance which is worse dan abject poverty...madam,its ur cross which u brought upon urself so,live wit it;pray wit purity of d mind n seek God's 4giveness;no mata wat his attitude tends 2 b,deny him of sex till he takes u 2 d alter;if u r a lady wit a questionable character,desist 4rm it n turn a new leaf;take gud care of ur kids n live a lifestyle of a virtuous woman,it 'll go a long way 2 help u n put an everlasting smile on ur face.
Posted: at 13-04-2016 09:11 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- mia4321 at 13-04-2016 09:58 PM (7 years ago)
(f)
very funny
Posted: at 13-04-2016 09:58 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Eazyatumeyi at 13-04-2016 10:21 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
quit the marriage
Posted: at 13-04-2016 10:21 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Eazyatumeyi at 13-04-2016 10:21 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: dickieponga on 13-04-2016 05:21 PM
Why r u asking us wen u have d ansa rite dere in ur hands...?
Obviously ur not marriage material and u still opened dat stinking legs of urs for him to poke and have anoda kid..
I wouldn't marry u mysef, u should be happy dat he takes care of his kids abi na by force to marry u.
Just becos u have his kids doesn't make u marriage material, ur just a baby making material and stop complaining..
U women can be so desperate sometimes... Please continue to open ur legs for him cos man must poke to survive abi no be so...
Some women r wife materials, baby making materials and girfriend materials, it's a shame u fall into d category of baby making material.
Get over it my love..Abi una go kill d guy cos e no wan marry u..?

tell am o
Posted: at 13-04-2016 10:21 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- raynebee at 13-04-2016 11:02 PM (7 years ago)
(f)
hmmmm...all the best
Posted: at 13-04-2016 11:02 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Sparky12 at 13-04-2016 11:20 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
...lyf goes on
Posted: at 13-04-2016 11:20 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- osarobo62 at 13-04-2016 11:27 PM (7 years ago)
(m)
what do you need marriage for Huh? he takes care of you and your children;. you sleep with him when you want; his mother comes to visit;
what else do you want?....consider him as a long distance husband.
Posted: at 13-04-2016 11:27 PM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- slimmygal at 13-04-2016 11:49 PM (7 years ago)
(f)
all i'll say is that u should let d man be since he doesnt want u. its not possible to force a man to marry his baby mama, just start looking good and go out there and live ur life to d fullest. ur own husband will approach u, moreover if u av any bad character that makes ur baby daddy keep refusing to marry u, just try desist from it and change for good. all d best.
Posted: at 13-04-2016 11:49 PM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- mjyabah2 at 14-04-2016 12:01 AM (7 years ago)
(m)
First of all, he is an irresponsible doctor. He is playing games with reality; because he is a father of those kids but refuse to play his role as father. sending money does not equate to father figure. Actually he is not man enough to take up the challenges of being a husband. Find u a man and forget about him, until the time he man-up and step into manhood. For u and ur mistakes, do not feel bad at all because u did what many girls have always done yet they have nothing to show for it. U have two boys and that should be a big achievement for u. Give them good education and morals so they would become your source of pride.
Posted: at 14-04-2016 12:01 AM (7 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- dickieponga at 14-04-2016 12:58 AM (7 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Ubong Etuk on 13-04-2016 05:56 PM
Doctors and bankers are known to be promiscuous. i will simple tell you to let him know you want to be happily married and if he still thinks you are not good enough let him know you have decided to move on.
Na u wan move on wit am and d 2 kids...? Dis one can never move on...
Posted: at 14-04-2016 12:58 AM (7 years ago) | Hero
Reply
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