MostWanted: Phone Interview with Yaddie!

Okay some weeks back I heard my buddy Yaddie was walkin’ in the corridor of whats-the-name-of-that-hospital? and kicked a friggin’ bucket. Not like I cared anyway (Duh? Itz not my foot) buh I decided to ring him and..er..razzle his brain a bit.

Ring..Ring..Ring….Diing! *Number busy*

Redialling…*Ring…Ring..*

Voice: Who be dis?
Breezi: You must be very stupid oh. Shey dat phone no get Caller ID ni? Will u give dat phone to Yaddie! Stupid overzealous Idiot like you!

*A few minutes later*

Yaddie: Hey! Wassup Homeboy?
Breezi: Ogbeni! Aw u dey nah? No vex say I noe call u since u go vacation oh.. Aw Saudi nah?

Yaddie: Guy! Saudi dey jare.. Aw Naija nah? Fuel don dey now shebi?
Breezi: Yez Boz! My Gen. dey on sef.. I dey Jam ‘Dead Presidents by Jay Z’ as I dey follow you yarn so..

Yaddie: I get am for my iPod. Mehn that track is iLL. Heard from Goodluck yet?
Breezi: No jare! That guy dey avoid me like Lagos traffic.

Yaddie: *laughs* So who’s trending on Twitter now? Mutallab or me?
Breezi: Mutallab ke? Joor oh.. U sabi Nigerians now, just like Reverend King, We’re gradually forgettin’ him and his made-in-Aba bomb oh jare.. Next to Haiti, u’re tha Shiznit!

Yaddie: That’s Wassup!
Breezi: Yes homie! How’s Turaya doing?

Yaddie: Mmcheew! The bitch won’t let me be mehn.. She screens every nurse enterin’ ma room.. Like I got tha strength to get some head..
Breezi: Yeah I know homie. First ladies are always like that jor. I feel ur pain.

Yaddie: So wassup Breezi? U’ve always flashed, how come u calling today? Where did u steal credit?
Breezi: I’m using Mumsys’ phone jor.. I jus’ wanted to clarify some National Issues.. I tried calling Baba Iyabo but the old Ape ain’t picking.

Yaddie: Oh u’ve not heard? There’s no network at Ota farm.. Somebody keeps privatising all the MTN mast there.. So wassup with u? How’s Yeepa! doin’?
Breezi: Nuffin’ much really.. we heard u were sick, in comatose, dead and long gone. How true is that?

Yaddie: Dead men don’t talk homie. That’s rumour ya got right there. I’m fine, jus’ got a little pile is all..
Breezi: O’boi.. Na Jedi-Jedi carry u go Saudi? So ur Kidney is fine? We even heard ur brain did wake-keeping recently. Mehn u tight gan oh..

Yaddie: Yes Boss! I’m fly like that. Tax payers have been quite generous u know? Those wey no dey pay na dem dey spread rumour now… They want to spoil our 7 terms calendar…er…I mean 7 point agenda. U grab?
Breezi: Yes oh.. A lot of peeps won’t stop botherin’ me.. They keep askin’ me: ‘Where’s Yaddie?’.. ‘Is he going Abacha on us?’.. ‘Are we changing PHCNs’ name this year?’ ..U know, too many Jamb questions like that..

Yaddie: Yeah, I know. That’s why I called BBC to say hello, NTAs’ numbers wasn’t going through, MTN was phyukin’ up as usual. I should’ve called CNN but credit just finished.
Breezi: ..Yeah I heard u called BBC. Fly ass Nicca like u.. Ur Alibi is fly mehn.. Ya got SwaG.. SauceKiD has got nuffin’ on u mehn.. But dem suppose shoot video for u now?

Yaddie: No time. Clarence Peters no dey work on credit. Anyhow sha Na me be fly boy..
Breezi: Yes ke?! I dey believe u dead! U dey scatter my punk! Ooshe! Yaddie toh bad! Oya now..P..D..P…???!

Yaddie: POWER! Power to the FG mehn!
Breezi: What?!

Yaddie: Sorry I meant Power to the people..
Breezi: Shut tha phyuk up! No be u dey talk jor!

Yaddie: Ahn-ahn! Show me some respect guy.. Because we been dey drink monkeytail together no mean say make u insult me nah. It’s me mehn.. Itz ya homeboy Yaddie!
Breezi: phyuk that! Yaddie would’ve said ‘Fower’ not Power.. Yaddie gat an accent mehn.. Besides Yaddie doesn’t scream.. He would’ve whispered: ‘Fower to the Fifle!’..

Yaddie: I dey abroad mehn.. U noe what they say: When in rome act like romans..
Breezi: Romans ko, Corinthians ni.. You’re dead! Tell that Hajiya of urs to bring ur body home she can’t keep on claimin’ ur obese salary.. Bye deadbody!
Yaddie: Hold on a sec.. Breezi no fall my hand! I’m alive.. I swear! I will support ur Paraga canning business.. Wait! Damn!

..*Line Dead*..

Posted: at 6-02-2010 07:55 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

i love ur creativity guy. keep it up

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Posted: at 8-02-2010 02:07 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

9ice concept.... gud one...

Posted: at 8-02-2010 10:31 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

 Brilliant! Excellent concept. but jeje O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: at 8-02-2010 02:41 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie

u try

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Posted: at 8-02-2010 07:52 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac

omo u too much, i dey hail

Posted: at 9-02-2010 01:17 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac

my joke of the day...

Posted: at 26-02-2010 11:56 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac

kris missed dis 1‘"Is he going Abacha on us?’" lol vry vry funny

Posted: at 26-02-2010 03:37 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac

wat are u thanking me for?

Posted: at 26-02-2010 03:47 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac

no i didnt say dat, and its d poster dat is suppose to b sayin thank u abi u wan....

Posted: at 26-02-2010 03:55 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac