I Told Him About the Number of Men I've Had S3x With, he Always Brings it Up When we Fight

Published On: August 1, 2016, 12:21 pm (4 years ago)
Author: Giwa bayo
[1] 2

A Naijapal lady sent this story directly to us, it's insightful and could happen to anyone just had to share it on here. She said she revealed her past to her present lover a history of s3xcapades with a couple of men as well as a married man.  Her boyfriend prompted her into making confessions which have now backfired. Read below:
Quote
Hello Naijapals,
     I love your site and just want to say thank you for this opportunity to be able to express our inner fears and deep secrets without been condemned. I wanna share my story with you but I will like you to counsel me before you post it.
     My guy and I have been dating for two years, but before we started, he made me confess to something I did which was sleeping with a married man. its something I'm not proud of, I wasn't even dating the man, he was a friend who wanted sex from and in a moment of weakness, it happened. My guy (we were just friends then) suspected and confronted me. After I admitted, we started a relationship, although I told him we didn't have to if he couldn't get past it but he told me he not to worry. He also made me tell him the number of guys I have been with. At the beginning, it was rough, he brought it up almost all the time, he go angry anytime he saw the man but with time he let go (or thought so)
      Now it's been two years, he still brings it up indirectly or directly. Anytime he couldn't reach, he starts calling me names. He always makes me feel like a slutwho had to change because of him. He says things like, I dont have shame or I've started this my lifestyle. He doesn't trust me. I know I did something wrong and I have made mistakes, but I know I am a good person who always fell in the hands of wrong people. I was innocent and naive. I trusted too much, I just wanted to be loved.
      Both Families are aware of this relationship and we are talking marriage but I don't want things to continue this way.  have talked to him severally. I don't know what to do. I have invested my time and emotion in this relationship, he has got other issues like the way he talks to me atimes, the way he seems not show how much he appreciates me and the way he is so prudent when it comes to spending on me but I don't let this things bother me. I always try to make things work. he is a good man and he doesn't cheat but I don't think I can handle this lack of trust and insecurity. Help me please. I am confused.

 Please yo can advice her on the comment section below, I am sure she will see it. Thanks


Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 12:21 PM | Hero
Honest advice.......U can't change any man....just walk out of the relationship. It may not b easy @ first but that's just d best *DECISION*
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 12:32 PM | Upcoming
Reply
Why would u tell em that in d first place?
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 12:38 PM | Hero
Reply
Seriously this one needs ministry of relationship Affairs,  both of you needs space don't be a juvenile.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 12:50 PM | Gistmaniac
Reply
Wide mouth
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 12:51 PM | Hero
Reply
At first you shouldn't have let him know
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 01:21 PM | Hero
Reply
kison kison (m)
NEXT TIME BE careful, be very very careful, CAREFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL……………………………….
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 01:24 PM | Hero
Reply
na u phyukup.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 01:31 PM | Gistmaniac
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He Just have to let go of it ,past past is past ,everybody have rough starting ,in as much as u do cheat on him in the courtship , continue to remain good girl as u are ,I guess friends is telling him crazy things that made him act funny to u sometimes ,tell me to try to put it behind and make things work out best for u and him . God bless ur marriage ,trust me pray about it ,it will work
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 01:33 PM | Upcoming
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He loves you so bear with him. I've seen worse
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 01:43 PM | Upcoming
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Tor na u sabi ooooo.                                                                                                                 
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 01:51 PM | Gistmaniac
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Nah craze dey worry dat ur guy,if he dey find holy virgin,he go reach PLUTO,him no get past?if he continue the same thing,my girl holla am like say 2mrw no dey.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:08 PM | Hero
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Leave because when you're married he won't change either.  He is childish.  Your past  is yout past. You have made mistakes and have learned.  There's no need to constantly be reminded of it. If you're in a relationship it's good to be honest because it's better for you to tell the guy than for him to find out from someone else but whomever you're in a relationship with should not hold your past against you and use it as ammo when he's mad. .If you don't leave your marriage will be miserable. There are 7 billion  people in this world. Why are you wasting your time on one fool
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:19 PM | Newbie
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Huuuuuuuuuuu! You are so wonderful, next time do not disclose your past to that extent again, if your spouse admitted it in the first instance, some years or days later when you do something wrong his mind will flash back to it and he will use it to react to you. In another way round when his creating joke with colleagues whenever they go out, he might be feeling embarrass when he hear good history about his friends wife's share compare to yours.
     In conclusion, keep praying the victory is ur IJN wish the you the best
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:35 PM | Newbie
Reply
Quote from: Jackiebabe on  1-08-2016 02:19 PM
Leave because when you're married he won't change either.  He is childish.  Your past  is yout past. You have made mistakes and have learned.  There's no need to constantly be reminded of it. If you're in a relationship it's good to be honest because it's better for you to tell the guy than for him to find out from someone else but whomever you're in a relationship with should not hold your past against you and use it as ammo when he's mad. .If you don't leave your marriage will be miserable. There are 7 billion  people in this world. Why are you wasting your time on one fool
Nice advice frm u my lady. Better than sum clown here. D lady only said she need advice, if u cant advice her jux read d post n kip shout. Instead of usles comment.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:40 PM | Upcoming
Reply
The greatest mistake u will ever make is going ahead to marry him with the hope tthat he will change or that u will change him. 2 years and he is still holding u to ransom on ur past. It's not like you two were dating when it happened. My advice.... LEAVE!! Simple.  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:42 PM | Addicted Hero
Reply
Are you sure you did not compare him to the men u have sexed?because your case is even similar to the girl I was dating just because I was out of Job last year and when she ask for money I don't have she then start comparing me to Mr A,B. And C telling me all sorts of BuLsh***t..she thought I would neva rise again thanks to God..Girl u all are the same.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:49 PM | Newbie
Reply
Are you sure you did not compare him to the men u have sexed?because your case is even similar to the girl I was dating just because I was out of Job last year and when she ask for money I don't have she then start comparing me to Mr A,B. And C telling me all sorts of BuLsh***t..she thought I would neva rise again thanks to God..Girl u all are the same.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 02:50 PM | Newbie
Reply
MY SISTER, THE TRUTH IS YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A MAN, INFACT U ARE NOT YET MARRIED HE DOES THIS ... EXPECT THE WORST WHEN YOU MARRY,,, SO THE BEST TIN NOW IS TO LEAVE THAT RELATIONSHIP AND MOVE AHEAD WITH YOUR LIFE AND WHEN U FINALLY GET ANODA GUY DONT TELL HIM ALL ABOUT YOUR PAST COS MEN ARE TOO JEALOUS,... BE WISE.
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 03:29 PM | Addicted Hero
Reply
Just be yourself and follow what your heart says..for you to even open up all your past to him...and he still doesn't see that loving..caring and truthful heart of yours..pls my dear save your heart for someone else...cos I'll do the same...
Posted: (4 years ago) on 1-08-2016 04:35 PM | Gistmaniac
Reply
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