My Love For Beans

Date: 16-03-2010 2:47 pm (14 years ago) | Author: collins smith
- at 16-03-2010 02:47 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.

When i became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
 
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. 

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the smell of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
 
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:

'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'
 
He then blind folded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
MyM 
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more.

The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
 
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
 
The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
 
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and assured him I had not.
 
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'


Posted: at 16-03-2010 02:47 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- Doshe at 16-03-2010 04:43 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
OMG my joke of the day.
Posted: at 16-03-2010 04:43 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- monasea at 16-03-2010 04:45 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
posted b4
Posted: at 16-03-2010 04:45 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- blesyn003 at 16-03-2010 06:17 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
o my dazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.cant stop lafffin
Posted: at 16-03-2010 06:17 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- uploader at 16-03-2010 06:23 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Posted b4
Posted: at 16-03-2010 06:23 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- colenzo at 16-03-2010 06:31 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: uploader on 16-03-2010 06:23 PM
Posted b4
this scammer show your face make i see now

Posted: at 16-03-2010 06:31 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- just2sexy at 16-03-2010 06:49 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
posted b4

Posted: at 16-03-2010 06:49 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- colenzo at 16-03-2010 11:33 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
no terrorist wanted on this forum

Posted: at 16-03-2010 11:33 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Bazemaster at 17-03-2010 02:36 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Still laughing,

Posted: at 17-03-2010 02:36 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- quinzee4me at 17-03-2010 02:47 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
still betta dan the lazy ones in the forum whether posted b4 or not
Posted: at 17-03-2010 02:47 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- tessinita at 19-03-2010 03:48 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
i cant stop laufin.....and for u guyz dat fink it has  being posted b4,y dnt u make ur own jokes and post so we cud see how funny it cud be either than waste ya tym weighing people's spirit down Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue
Posted: at 19-03-2010 03:48 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- add12 at 19-03-2010 03:55 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
posted b4
Posted: at 19-03-2010 03:55 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- quinzee4me at 20-03-2010 05:59 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
what is ur problem sef add12 abi u didnt see the sign post for pb4 guys to go and hang themselves if they dont want to read a joke that is being posted b4? Cool Angry
Posted: at 20-03-2010 05:59 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- lyinka at 20-03-2010 06:08 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
shooo

Posted: at 20-03-2010 06:08 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- quinzee4me at 20-03-2010 06:10 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
wats surprising and y are u shooing?
Posted: at 20-03-2010 06:10 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- lyinka at 20-03-2010 06:15 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
just tired of all this refurblished and old jokes

Posted: at 20-03-2010 06:15 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- quinzee4me at 20-03-2010 06:18 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
post urs and pls make sure its neew
Posted: at 20-03-2010 06:18 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- lyinka at 20-03-2010 06:24 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
ok be xpecting it  and I hope it is not posted be4 when I have mine

Posted: at 20-03-2010 06:24 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply

fire TRENDING GISTS fire

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