The thought of writing an article about jealousy was, foreboding to say the least. My own personal experience in this area is the best I can call upon to offer any kind of advice on this subject. This green- eyed nasty is an absolute killer of relationships and friendships and when it shows itself you can be in for a very rough time. To hopefully avoid this outcome I would like to help you with some strategies that will enable you to survive the actions of a very jealous partner.
I remember meeting this person on a night out in town. I had been out of a relationship for some time but still had that poor me, feeling going on. We got talking and some time down the track we began living together. I am a fairly up beat person so I generally tried to keep the atmosphere happy when my partner seemed to be experiencing the blues, what I did not see was this person was constantly moody and very quick to criticize. After some time I began to feel somewhat fed up with my partners reaction to every move I made and started to voice my feelings on the subject.
I was not prepared for the next thing that happened, as I felt a massive bang to my head which threw me to the floor in a total state of pain and confusion. That is what I got for having my say at last. This was a first for me so once the room stopped spinning and I regained my focus I found myself feeling really angry. I verbalised my objection just in time to feel the floor against my face again. I must have been a warrior in another life because I picked myself up, desperately trying to stifle the tears and took myself out of the house. My partner followed me with accusations about people I had talked too, my dress code and the amount of make up I liked to wear. The person standing in front of me had become in that moment a complete stranger.
The abuse continued for some time as my other half worked very hard to get me under their control. Its hard to believe that a sane woman like myself could have ended up in a situation like this and my friends now find it hard to believe that I let it happen. The moral of this story is no matter how strong a person you may be, when you enter a relationship with an obsessively jealous person they can beat you down, till you no longer trust yourself.
I was a lucky one because the events that followed seemed like a gift from above. I had a stomachache for days so I went to see a doctor, which was rare, as I did not visit anyone anymore. This doctor gently asked me if everything was okay at home and if not, she knew of a lovely lady counsellor who I could talk too. The next day while my partner was out I took myself to the counsellors office and waited with some apprehension. She was great and I felt my sanity slowly returning. Back at home I was interrogated about where I had been and the usual followed. A couple of days later I got to the office along with a bleeding nose but as you can see I was determined to find myself again.
The counsellor took one look at me and told me to leave this person immediately as I was not safe. Some hours later I managed to do this. I spent considerable time healing from this relationship, but can say now that today I am stronger, happier person, loving my life. As humans we have an incredible survival instinct and ability to beat the odds. This partner moved onto their next victim and I feel for them. Obsessive jealousy is very serious stuff I can tell you that from experience, but the light at the end of the tunnel is help is out there so grab onto it. I hope this has helped anyone who has found themselves in this horrific situation. You can make it out and have a fantastic life!
by Linda E Cole
VeNi ViDi VeSA!!! ----->
Posted: at 20-03-2010 11:26 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming