Lady Narrates Nasty And Very Funny Experience She Had At A Jehovah's Witness Wedding

Published 2 years ago by: Giwa bayo
at 12:30 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)

(11807 | Hero) (m)


A Nigerian lady, Penocrat Ayomide Ugonna took to her Facebook to narrate the annoying experience she had at a Jehovah’s Witness wedding. According to her, her neighbour over-hyped how the wedding was going to be, but they ended up disappointed when food didn’t get to them after all the struggle, and also how they didn’t accept the gift they presented.

Quote
“Please if you’re my friend and you attend Jehovah’s witness, biko don’t ever open that your mouth you use in eating shawarma or drinking orijin to invite me for your wedding, because I won’t come! Im not joking! Ho Ha!!!
Jesu! That was how my neighbour invited me and my friends to her wedding o. You need to see how this babe finished hyping the kain event sef. She even told us not to eat, that she will take care of our ‘food needs’ o. Okay!
On behalf of me and my friends, I told her we might not be able to meet up with the whole church serenren, but we will come for the reception. Babe agreed.
So me and my friends contributed money to buy her a nice wedding gift. See broke me. I even gave my last card. Kai!
After they were done with church wedding na, we got the information, and headed straight for the reception hall. On getting there, we discovered that the food and drinks were under over beefed security o. Very tight sontin! We were waiting for them to share food.
Omo, no show o.  See us that came hungry! I wan die!
We waited and waited and waited. Not just us o. Other people also that came to the reception venue too were waiting. Nothing! You can’t even look the people in charge of the food in the face. Very unfriendly specie!
All my attempts to smile at one brother and form fine girl failed woefully. Brother wasn’t moved. At a point I started thinking he was either gay or castrated.
Imagine me! I even cut eye for brother, yet no show. I failed. As in correct F9 wey dem use red biro write o. Tueh!!
So eventually, the people who went to church. started arriving gradually. Chairs started getting filled up. The unfriendly caterers started loosening up, as they greeted their fellow church members. O chi’m! How did I forget I wasn’t a member if the Kain church.
Then something funny happened. These people brought out list of names o. No jokes! and started sharing rice according to positions.
Firstly, they served all the Elders, in no particular order. Elder Johnson, Elder Vincent, Elder nkea, na Elder nkeozo. Tufia!
By the time they were done with the elders, we were almost dead. My belle don dey tell me how far. I looked at my neighbor, Aunty throway face. Issorite! God! I died!
Then they started dishing out food to their church members. Coman see aroma everywhere. It wasn’t funny o. Mt friends were practically sulking ! See painment. Kai!
And these their church members sef were not even helping matters. Very wicked set of human beings! You need to see how they were just tearing the meat and emptying their bottles of soft drinks without conscience. At a point, I started feeling like they were doing it on purpose, so that our throat will long well well and fall ontop ground.
Hian! I could practically hear the annoying noises their wide mouths were making as they deleted the plates of jollof, devoured the chicken meats, and cracked the bones of the unfortunate animal to powder.  Selfish people!
Finally, they were done serving members. Just as I was thinking the friends and well wishers will be next in line, another list came out. This time, it was for people that witnessed the joining at the church.
You go dey front laidis, usher go pass food to person wey dey your back. Them go even throw can drink across your head, give another person. Azzin, malt was just flying upandan.One man got fed up and caught one. As he tried to open it, usher change am for am o.
” Excuse me Sir. That drink doesn’t belong to you! For where! The man opened the thing and drank o. He was like;.
” What sort of nansenze is this? I have been here for the past 2hrs. No Rice, No swallow! No Drink! Not even water! What is happening? Oginidi?”
“Did you come to the kingdom???” The usher fired back.
Ha! Kingdom kwa! Kingdom of where? Abi is it the seven kingdoms in Game of thrones???
It was later that Penocrat Ayomide Ugonna, discovered that they refer to their church as a kingdom, and anyone who didn’t come to the kingdom for the wedding, was perceived as WORLDLY, and not fit to partake in the ‘choppings’.  “We are one in Christ!”the man replied. While he gulped down the can of Amstel Malta, at the expense of the overly angry usher.
Immediately me and my friends decided to use the man’s type of tactics to collect drinks too, we discovered that this people had stopped throwing drinks o. They now clutch their malt tightly and walk down to the seat of whoever they feel like giving, and hand over the damn thing.
Inukwa!
After that last category, they stopped serving. Coman see hunger written on people’s faces. I was hungry o. But some people were both hungry and angry. You need to see different types of red eyes. Men, women, children, dgz
When all hope was lost, My friend brought out groundnut from her bag and started munching. All of us begged her o. Including one fine boy that sat near us. No forming for this wan at all! Hunger is real!
Finally, we decided to leave na. Wedding don cast. Since,the church people were just crunching, binging and munching with reckless abandon, while we the onlookers were just observing the swayings of their mouths. As per Mr. Lukman and Madam Lucozades is it not better to get the phyuk out of that place?
We got up, carried our gift and walked straight to the bride to hand it over, when they hit us with another heartbreaking missile.
Do you know these people don’t even collect gifts at wedding? Hay God!
My neighbor rejected the gift we contributed money to buy for her, because it was against their doctrine. Okay o. We carried our gift and were doing about turn when I heard a dry voice saying;” Why are you guys leaving. Wait na. We are almost done with the event.” I turned back. Lo and behold. It was my neighbour. She was drinking fanta.
Hay God! what level of painment is this kwanu?
Is like this wan is mad. Wait and do what? Shine eyes while you people do us longer throat with your nonsense meals?
Wait and do what? Lock the doors or clean the place or wash the plates? Thunder! Not just ordinary thunder o. A Hymanic thunder! Wait fez o. Hunger is using me to recite state and capital, and you people are asking me to wait? May Amadioha position soldier ants inside your genitals!
.P.S: if you’re a Jehovah’s witness member, please do laidis. I want to block you and make space for better people who have regard for human feelings.
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Kingdom that they’re not sharing food inside is that wan kingdom?
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Nonsense and paradise!
Written by Penocrat Ayomide Kindness.”


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UWAYO at 01:19 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(40 | Newbie) (f)

First thing First.Nice write up i mean very nice writeup.and very,very very funny i laughed all' thru.it Was fun Reading it.though,at dat point in time,and right there,its not funny atallllll,and with d heat too.but oh sis people Need to stop going 4just reception oooh.atleast show love and attend d church ceremony.atleast 1_2hours wont change anything in ur Life.if It feta to ur turn,or Simeone u love,and everyone DID not attend d church ceremony and all' in d chopping ground,u Will then learn to stop.
Reply
softhils at 01:42 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(1576 | Gistmaniac) (m)

Nice write up,  but it clearly shows the reason and motives behind people's actions...Why do we attend weddings??  to rejoice with the celebrants or because of food??? 
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chukkychukky at 01:52 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(7042 | Gistmaniac) (m)

d bride price of jehova witness na tie, umbrella, plain trouser and shirt with suit case

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euwilliams at 01:53 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(1025 | Gistmaniac) (f)

na so, you want to eat only food but forget that Jehovah word is first in your life
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ovickson at 01:59 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(295 | Upcoming) (m)

It seems as if you don't know this religion,they are very wicked people,dey only pretend to you when you go to their meeting the first day,immediately you become a member they will destroy your life,they will separate you from your family and friends that are not jehovahs witnesses,the worst part is that they don't allow their kids to go to the University, because dey believe it will make them turn away from the religion,becos dey will start thinking critically,and if you as a parent disobey dem you will be dropped from your position as a minister,ask any jehovahs witness they will tell you, but they have lawyers,doctors,engineers that assist them,dey don't allow their members to join the military,but when they have security issues they go to them,they call non Jehovahss witnesses wordly people or christendom fake people living a life of control if their is anyone on dis platform that is a JW pls challenge me,i have some of their articles as evidence. Once you allow dem into your life ur life will change for the worst.
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jonik at 01:59 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(27 | Newbie) (m)

Quote from: softhils on 01:42 PM, 23/06/2017
Nice write up,  but it clearly shows the reason and motives behind people's actions...Why do we attend weddings??  to rejoice with the celebrants or because of food??? 

The entire scenario is just too embarrassing, No one who doesn't want to celebrate with you would attend your wedding simply becoz of food.

Thank God i have been informed now.
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ovickson at 02:06 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(295 | Upcoming) (m)

Quote from: euwilliams on 01:53 PM, 23/06/2017
na so, you want to eat only food but forget that Jehovah word is first in your life
I know you are a member of JW,u talk like a goat,u invited someone to your wedding and u are talking about the word of God, was she invited to your church programme NO!!! Just a wedding,you see wat I said abt dem,they are very wicked,the bible said" God will choose his people and not his people will choose him,only those doing the will of my father will be saved, and not religion it is even in d bible dat dere is time for evrytin.
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osayan1 at 02:07 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(1795 | Gistmaniac) (m)

funny tho lol
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abcdqwer at 04:54 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(374 | Upcoming) (m)

Quote from: ovickson on 01:59 PM, 23/06/2017
It seems as if you don't know this religion,they are very wicked people,dey only pretend to you when you go to their meeting the first day,immediately you become a member they will destroy your life,they will separate you from your family and friends that are not jehovahs witnesses,the worst part is that they don't allow their kids to go to the University, because dey believe it will make them turn away from the religion,becos dey will start thinking critically,and if you as a parent disobey dem you will be dropped from your position as a minister,ask any jehovahs witness they will tell you, but they have lawyers,doctors,engineers that assist them,dey don't allow their members to join the military,but when they have security issues they go to them,they call non Jehovahss witnesses wordly people or christendom fake people living a life of control if their is anyone on dis platform that is a JW pls challenge me,i have some of their articles as evidence. Once you allow dem into your life ur life will change for the worst.


You are a big liar
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abcdqwer at 04:56 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(374 | Upcoming) (m)

So they invited you to the wedding or to go eat? Tifunloran. Mr poster stop this kind of news
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tonyigho at 06:30 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(2072 | Gistmaniac) (m)

the worst part is that they don't allow their kids to go to the University, you are very ignorant and keep your mouth shut ovickson, don't mislead others.
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ovickson at 10:41 PM, 23/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(295 | Upcoming) (m)

Quote from: tonyigho on 06:30 PM, 23/06/2017
the worst part is that they don't allow their kids to go to the University, you are very ignorant and keep your mouth shut ovickson, don't mislead others.
Me and u who is ignorant, animals pretenders,you fornicate in secret and u carry ur bags to preach to people,you call other Christians christendom or wordly people,and you use deir technology,buy food from dem,do business with dem go to their schools,ingrates, u said am misleading people evrybody knows jehovahs witnesses are the worst pretenders, you said am misleading pple abi? Does your organisation allows you people to go to University? Be sincere to yourself, they destroyed my friend life. And if you talk too much I will start publishing your magazines and articles that tells d kind of people u guys are, look at u on d day of God's judgment evry body will be judge according to their deeds and not according to their religion.

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Asterimou at 01:47 AM, 24/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(1055 | Gistmaniac) (m)

How is anyone of you arguing here sure if the writer is telling us the correct gist? Who was there amongst us here? The writeup be like bad belle things. I have witness their wedding several times and i have never experienced such things writer is saying here. They are very well organised in what they do. they pay particular attention to time. Have you seen how organized their dressing is? Thats how they are organize in everything o. Don't mind the writer. na bad belle things dey worry her. they have no superior in their church and they treat the young and old and so called elders the same. Don't come on the internet to rubbish people just because you don't like them or their way of doing things. taking time to write such long trash against your friend who invited you is very bad, at least, she invited you and must see to your needs. You never said you complained to her and she couldn't help u get food since thats what you came for. When you come to an occasion very hungry and with greed intentions, one hour will be like 5 days for your eyes. yeye dey smell. No go marry. Dey do Obito commando follow every wedding. agbaya!
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SOGaiya at 07:55 PM, 24/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(5469 | Gistmaniac) (m)

tank God i never hve dat frnd yet
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KennyFidel at 07:17 AM, 25/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(1507 | Gistmaniac) (f)

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Haso112 at 12:05 PM, 25/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(6388 | Gistmaniac) (m)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... OMO LAUGH DON KILL ME FOR HERE, THIS BABE EHNNNN... YOU TRY...
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kacylee at 07:18 AM, 27/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(24795 | Addicted Hero) Online (f)

hahhahaaa! next time u go chop b4 u go party Grin Grin

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ruthie at 09:40 AM, 28/06/2017 (2 years ago)
(17435 | Hero) (f)

moral of the story....eat before you leave house o
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