What will u do if a guy tells u, his parents are first in his heart (Page 3)

Date: 14-04-2010 3:22 pm (14 years ago) | Author: kate
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- youngboss01 at 18-04-2010 04:43 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: ruffrugged on 14-04-2010 11:16 PM
please for all the ladies, dont get pregnant till you are married if not the guy will think you are trying to trap him and then he will start letting you know of all his responsibilities that come before you.
i agree
Posted: at 18-04-2010 04:43 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 18-04-2010 04:53 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: ksurrina on 16-04-2010 05:25 PM
Quote from: MEEZAK on 16-04-2010 04:07 PM
Always told my Girlfriend ...whatever gonna make you ask to ask me to choose between you and my mother...then always avoid that because you already know the ANSWER...its my MUM...so dont even ask.

Having a partner is the best thing that can happen to someone in life and if am livig with you and care for you...why will you ask me to choose between you and my parent. they raise me and i am who i am today because of them. So please ladies dont even go there

No good woman will tell their husband/boyfriend to choose between her and his parent. I remember sometime ago a guy I was building friendship was calling me mummy. I told him don't. Number 1 am not his mother and neither do I have a child for him. His answer was but you will be my wife and so mummy is my name for you. You will now be my mother and wife. I said choose another name because I can never replace your mother whether she dead or alive. Daughter in laws should never think that they can be a mother to their spouse.
now u're talking

Posted: at 18-04-2010 04:53 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- youngboss01 at 18-04-2010 04:55 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
hmmm......if she feels shes in it, then she sud look to the child and God for love. but if she still got space, she can take a walk.
Posted: at 18-04-2010 04:55 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 18-04-2010 05:17 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
never a time u should let ur husband to choose b/w u & his mother. always try to make things work no matter how
bad it is. he already knows that u & his kids are his own family now. there is no way this guy will disown his mother
cos u're pushing him to. remember u're a woman, all goes around comes around. all women are the same, they
always got bad feelings about their daugther inlaws thinking u're not good enough for their sons. believe me u will
do the same thing when ur son gets married. remember the song of sweet mother that says if ur mother dies u can not
replace her but if ur wife dies u can marry another.

Posted: at 18-04-2010 05:17 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 18-04-2010 05:40 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9EIRBb4BAQ" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win" rel="nofollow">SWEET MOTHER - PRINCE NICO MBARGA (DULCE MADRE)WITH LYRICS.</a>

Posted: at 18-04-2010 05:40 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 18-04-2010 02:13 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
anyway girls, is a woman thing. today u're a daugther inlaw crying, tomorrow u'll be a mother inlaw controlling & over protective of
ur son.

Posted: at 18-04-2010 02:13 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- ebony_cutie at 18-04-2010 02:24 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
ok
Posted: at 18-04-2010 02:24 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- wunzie at 18-04-2010 03:57 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
It's a difficult one and no one can effectively predict his or her reaction. The fact is, it is
a reality that occurs across the world although people are reluctant to address or face the issue.

On a personal level, i would hope that over time, his affection towards me would supercede the
one towards his parent.  That's the best i believe i can do in the circumstances.

Posted: at 18-04-2010 03:57 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- j-rules at 18-04-2010 06:44 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
well hmm this is very controversial and lets face it happens in every home well all i have to say is this why not forget about the me against his family politics and try to focus on building a happy family with him. try and support him in wateva he says his parents will not be there forever you know and besides as a woman you should ........
Posted: at 18-04-2010 06:44 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 18-04-2010 08:34 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
pls ladies, don't push too much of ur luck on this, cos if u do made him to choose u over his parents, u will
become a lifetime enemy with his parents. cos they will think u poisioned their son against them. they
might even go any lenght to get u. pls peace on u all & lets keeps hope alive thanks. Cool Cool Cool Smiley Smiley Smiley

Posted: at 18-04-2010 08:34 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- fiffy at 19-04-2010 11:44 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: ade_su_wa on 14-04-2010 04:25 PM
b4 ukor...no b ur family first b4 any persin
  rubish!!!!! Why did he marry them instead and impregnate his sisters instead....
Posted: at 19-04-2010 11:44 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- fiffy at 19-04-2010 11:56 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: sweetnsassy1 on 16-04-2010 05:33 AM
I'm just going to tell you what I think. If the husband here tells the wife his family -mother, father, etc. come first in his heart even if the mother in law is a nagger, and irritates you give of yourself....accept what he said if you want to make it work. If you are generous of yourself and do the best that you can to keep the mother in law happy, your husband will be happy. Also keep in mind, any small little thing you do for the family is like giving charity and will benefit yourself in the long run. You will be blessed for all you do...Your husband is the head of the house, and his feelings should be respected...but at same time, marriage is also a compromise and a wise husband if he sees how hard you are trying will learn to bend....and no matter how difficult it is do it with a smile and from your heart....

I was thinking tonight on my way home from hospital how best to make my future husband's mother happy as I really do want her to be comfortable and happy because if she is, then I know my husband will be happy which in turn will make me happy as well and our family will reap the benefits of his joy...
Let me tell you what u get in such Marriages.... His mother would have to be consulted b4 any decision is taken in your home, his family would all b4 comfortable b4 he remembers your own needs and that of your children,  you will never be able to build u your children's future because by the time he is thru with his family needs there is nothing left, meaning you will bear the whole responsibilty yourself, by the way what does the Bible  mean  about a man leaving father and mother to cling to his wife and they 2 shall become one... . truth is if a wife or husband is unhappy in a marriage cos of a third party there is every tendency of that marriage collapsing, Love ur wife first she is the bone of your  bones and the flesh of your flesh and she in turn would love your and take your  family as her own.....
Posted: at 19-04-2010 11:56 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- hotun at 19-04-2010 03:11 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
i wil go for 50-50 if he said so, then i tell him there and then that i luv my dad more than annything in this world and that his thought and luv occupys 80% percent of my mind. if he"s the reasonable type, he wouldn't drag it. but if he's not , he will ask me why?
Posted: at 19-04-2010 03:11 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- sugaDaddy1forU at 19-04-2010 07:06 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: fiffy on 19-04-2010 11:56 AM
Quote from: sweetnsassy1 on 16-04-2010 05:33 AM
I'm just going to tell you what I think. If the husband here tells the wife his family -mother, father, etc. come first in his heart even if the mother in law is a nagger, and irritates you give of yourself....accept what he said if you want to make it work. If you are generous of yourself and do the best that you can to keep the mother in law happy, your husband will be happy. Also keep in mind, any small little thing you do for the family is like giving charity and will benefit yourself in the long run. You will be blessed for all you do...Your husband is the head of the house, and his feelings should be respected...but at same time, marriage is also a compromise and a wise husband if he sees how hard you are trying will learn to bend....and no matter how difficult it is do it with a smile and from your heart....

I was thinking tonight on my way home from hospital how best to make my future husband's mother happy as I really do want her to be comfortable and happy because if she is, then I know my husband will be happy which in turn will make me happy as well and our family will reap the benefits of his joy...
Let me tell you what u get in such Marriages.... His mother would have to be consulted b4 any decision is taken in your home, his family would all b4 comfortable b4 he remembers your own needs and that of your children,  you will never be able to build u your children's future because by the time he is thru with his family needs there is nothing left, meaning you will bear the whole responsibilty yourself, by the way what does the Bible  mean  about a man leaving father and mother to cling to his wife and they 2 shall become one... . truth is if a wife or husband is unhappy in a marriage cos of a third party there is every tendency of that marriage collapsing, Love ur wife first she is the bone of your  bones and the flesh of your flesh and she in turn would love your and take your  family as her own.....
i can see the bitterness in ur write up, pls let it go. is a woman's world , u can not change that history, the hand writing is on the wall. there's a bondage especially b/w mothers and her kids, u'll do the same thing when time comes. u're quoting bible, believe me if everybody doing what is written in the bible, this world could've been a better place to live. all u need to do is pray for better understanding in ur marriage.

Posted: at 19-04-2010 07:06 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- swttonia at 19-04-2010 08:32 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
simple, i'll put my folks first too and then we'll see what will happen after all i'm following his lead.
Posted: at 19-04-2010 08:32 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- sweetnsassy1 at 20-04-2010 12:27 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: sugaDaddy1forU on 19-04-2010 07:06 PM
Quote from: fiffy on 19-04-2010 11:56 AM
Quote from: sweetnsassy1 on 16-04-2010 05:33 AM
I'm just going to tell you what I think. If the husband here tells the wife his family -mother, father, etc. come first in his heart even if the mother in law is a nagger, and irritates you give of yourself....accept what he said if you want to make it work. If you are generous of yourself and do the best that you can to keep the mother in law happy, your husband will be happy. Also keep in mind, any small little thing you do for the family is like giving charity and will benefit yourself in the long run. You will be blessed for all you do...Your husband is the head of the house, and his feelings should be respected...but at same time, marriage is also a compromise and a wise husband if he sees how hard you are trying will learn to bend....and no matter how difficult it is do it with a smile and from your heart....

I was thinking tonight on my way home from hospital how best to make my future husband's mother happy as I really do want her to be comfortable and happy because if she is, then I know my husband will be happy which in turn will make me happy as well and our family will reap the benefits of his joy...
Let me tell you what u get in such Marriages.... His mother would have to be consulted b4 any decision is taken in your home, his family would all b4 comfortable b4 he remembers your own needs and that of your children,  you will never be able to build u your children's future because by the time he is thru with his family needs there is nothing left, meaning you will bear the whole responsibilty yourself, by the way what does the Bible  mean  about a man leaving father and mother to cling to his wife and they 2 shall become one... . truth is if a wife or husband is unhappy in a marriage cos of a third party there is every tendency of that marriage collapsing, Love ur wife first she is the bone of your  bones and the flesh of your flesh and she in turn would love your and take your  family as her own.....
i can see the bitterness in ur write up, pls let it go. is a woman's world , u can not change that history, the hand writing is on the wall. there's a bondage especially b/w mothers and her kids, u'll do the same thing when time comes. u're quoting bible, believe me if everybody doing what is written in the bible, this world could've been a better place to live. all u need to do is pray for better understanding in ur marriage.

LOL it is funny you say that because actually this is how I was raised. I was raised by a strong woman who had a lot of people give her grief in her life and say things about her or to her....but truly I have no business being in my child's marriage so long as my child is happy. In my family, the in-laws are family and we treat them as we do everyone else in the family - we argue, we make up, we laugh, we love, we always always make time to be together. My mom was very good with my sister-in-law...she was my sister...Of course they argued, but family members do that...they called each other names but never in anger only teasingly....my sister-in-law would tell my brother she's leaving him because he was a jerk and she would come and live in our house for a few days to let th air clear....so the dynamics are much different for me than for most people....how I was raised was much different than most I suspect...and I feel lucky...

My mom always told me that you get more with honey than vinegar....soften yourself instead of getting hard....let love be the ruler of your heart not anger or hate....and you know it is true.... anger weights you down but love gives you wings
Posted: at 20-04-2010 12:27 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- mazi at 20-04-2010 03:06 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sweety2010 on 15-04-2010 11:40 PM
Quote from: Tuks on 14-04-2010 10:00 PM
I fink he has a reason why he said so....It only means a greater part of his heart belongs 2 his family....In ma own opinion,i feel wen d gurl finally gives birth,he might change his view,cuz he got his 'own family now'....

        She has a child for him also to add the child didn't come accidentally coz the family is aware of the whole scenario.
        She was traditionally engaged  (in igbo tradition,she's a married person)
        During the pregnancy,child's delivery etc the mother is really a good nagger which must be worshipped-If u read naggin mother inlaw which was the previous topic.
        As a married person traditionally, she wants to make it work
        So, guys whats the technique?

hving an over-bearing mother in law can be a night mare to any lady...
even worse wen d man leans to d mothers apron, which is very wrong.

hving said dat.....some of u girls here now complaining nd running ur mouths now r gonna end up ill treating ur future daughters in law..
r any lessons been learnt here? cos some of these mother in laws were girls like u b4, see wot they grew old to become!!

check urself nd ponder!!!!

Posted: at 20-04-2010 03:06 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
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- moneyinbrakemi at 20-04-2010 03:13 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sweety2010 on 14-04-2010 03:22 PM


Thanks to all that gave opinions/advice to my previous question, am grateful to yah! thanks in a million.

My question now is, "As a fiancee with a child to this guy whom happens to open just one of the secrets in his heart that the parent are placed first in his heart, secondly his brother before fiancee" which spoken with authority attached.

U must have laughed at the statement of "open just one of the secrets in his heart" because if these statment was said she wont ve gone to the extent of havin a baby for him and the mom which has been a nail in the ass as u all know...

These words of being first in heart is known to the parents which gave them boldness to call ... trash

Guys what is this guy truly saying, please compare to the previous "naggin mother inlaw"


Better of provided you are still in his HEART also!If he gives you your portion accurately
Posted: at 20-04-2010 03:13 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
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