Author Tito Idakula stated that saying “sorry about your miscarriage” to a woman who lost a pregnancy makes it seem like it is her fault.
According to her, referring to it as “your miscarriage” is subtly making the woman feel like she failed by “miscarrying” when it’s been proven many times that miscarriages are not a woman’s fault at all and everyone needs to stop it.
She shared on her social media page;
Quote
Today I tried to comfort a lady who shared about experiencing a miscarriage. My words to her were “I am sorry about your miscarriage” and these words have been haunting me all day. Why did I refer to it as her miscarriage. It implies she was at fault in some way.
Saying “your miscarriage” is subtly making the woman feel like she failed by “miscarrying” when it’s been proven many times that miscarriages are not a woman’s fault at all. A miscarriage is something that happens to us and not something we are responsible for.
We need to stop saying to women “you miscarried” and maybe instead change our language. Maybe say “I am sorry you experienced that” because that let’s them know they are also victims of an unfortunate loss and not people who failed to carry the pregnancy better.
Dear women, I pray even in our language we stop taking the blame for things that are not even our fault when we are also just victims ourselves. Miscarriages, endometriosis, ectopic pregnancies, baby loss, etc.
I pray we accept that most often these things aren’t our fault and we shouldn’t blame ourselves for experiences that are really beyond our control. If anything you are a champion for dealing with these crappy things and getting out of bed in the morning.
You are not a victim but a FREAKING SUPERSTAR!!
Saying “your miscarriage” is subtly making the woman feel like she failed by “miscarrying” when it’s been proven many times that miscarriages are not a woman’s fault at all. A miscarriage is something that happens to us and not something we are responsible for.
We need to stop saying to women “you miscarried” and maybe instead change our language. Maybe say “I am sorry you experienced that” because that let’s them know they are also victims of an unfortunate loss and not people who failed to carry the pregnancy better.
Dear women, I pray even in our language we stop taking the blame for things that are not even our fault when we are also just victims ourselves. Miscarriages, endometriosis, ectopic pregnancies, baby loss, etc.
I pray we accept that most often these things aren’t our fault and we shouldn’t blame ourselves for experiences that are really beyond our control. If anything you are a champion for dealing with these crappy things and getting out of bed in the morning.
You are not a victim but a FREAKING SUPERSTAR!!
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