Drunkard

A drunk in a bar barfs all over his shirt. "Damn," he says. "I puked on my
shirt again. If the wife finds out, she's gonna kill me."

"Not to worry," says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk's
pocket. "Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover
the cleaning bill."

So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him.
She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. "Why are there two
twenties?" she asks.

The drunk replies, "Ummm, yeah... he crapped in my pants, too."