As this year is coming to an end, let's talk about some things Nigerians think that is normal and they can get away with, like domestic violence.
Dear readers, do you think there is a place a Nigerian Women can Run to Save Themselves From Domestic Violence without being blame for it
Dr. Ifeanyinwa, the wife of a Channels TV reporter, Pius Agbo, made a video accusing him of beating her up. In the video, she talked about not knowing peace throughout her 6 years of marriage. He (according to her) cheats on her, beats her up regularly, and he has, on more than one occasion, sat on her belly – when she was 3-months pregnant and barely 4 weeks after she was delivered of her baby through a cesarean section. In the video, the left side of her face was bloodied, and there were long marks from her forehead down to her chin. She looked like someone who was attacked by a wild animal.
For me, the most emotional part of the video was when her son said, “Mummy, sorry,” and she replied with, “Thank you.” That’s a realization that the son (and perhaps the other children) are in the know of what’s happening. They are already, at that young age, exposed to domestic violence and they know that daddy beats mummy.
Still, that is not the crux of this essay.
As everyone (on social media, of course) was amplifying the woman’s voice, tagging Channels TV to the misconduct of their reporter and calling for justice for the victim, the Benue State governor, Samuel Ortom, and his wife felt that the best way to handle this case of domestic violence is to reconcile the abuser and the victim.
See, these pictures irked me; the hug, the governor and his wife’s smile, the whole press conference – I mean, TVC, AIT, NTA, Channels and Benue TV actually came to cover this ‘press conference’? – everything. How did a governor assume that reconciliation is the best way to handle violence? Did it not occur to him that the man will (probably) beat her again and again. In fact, he could beat her for making that video and she won’t be able to cry out anymore.
Domestic violence is a big deal. During the lockdown, Nigeria recorded overwhelmingly high rates of domestic violence compared to other African countries.
It is appalling and worrisome that the governor not only handled this with kid’s glove by not ensuring that the abuser is cooling his heel off in prison, but he has also, in a way, forced the victim to live with her abuser. When a woman is beaten by her husband – especially to that extent – reconciliation is the last thing we need. According to her, this is not his first time and a whole governor – who is meant to protect the lives and properties of his people – choosing to be a part of this reconciliation is setting precedence on excusing violence against women. What he has indirectly (or directly) said is that the abuses she has suffered don’t matter and that the violence against women can be disregarded. That woman might have just been trapped. If she chooses to leave that marriage, people of the world will say,
Quote
“Ahan, the man has begged you na. Even a whole governor begged you, what else do you want?”
Where exactly are women safe in Nigeria? If a man can beat up his wife in such a manner, sit on her belly after a caesarian section and get a smile from a governor and his wife and a hug on national TV, then where exactly are women safe? Who can they run to for help?
The world is currently fighting against gender-based violence through the #OrangeTheWorld campaign, and it seems our dear governor has not caught up with the trend. This action by Governor Ortom is a huge setback for the fight against domestic violence.
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