"off" for him in the relationship.
Perhaps he senses you Leaning Forward, and it
feels like pressure to him.
Perhaps he gets a feeling that you're needy, or
desperate, or clingy, or are focusing your whole
life and attention and energy on HIM, and that
just makes him want to run.
He may want to keep you around, because you're
so cool and because you love him so much - who
wouldn't want that? - but he wants to run from the
"relationship."
And that means running away from "sex," too -
because he KNOWS what sex means to you.
He knows that, for you, sex means relationship.
Friends, though, is FINE.
And if you tell him that "friends" is fine -
he'll start to think he can just add in some
"benefits" - and that it will STILL be fine.
It will - for HIM. But not for YOU.
If we go along with the hope that "being
friends" will turn him back on, turn us into an
object of desire, or at least make him feel safe
enough to work through his "issues," we usually
end up with an even WORSE scenario:
The worst thing that can happen (and I've been
through this) - is where he turns off segxwally to
you for any reason - he's worried about
"performing," he's "not ready" for a relationship,
he feels pressured by you, he feels scared, or
you've been Leaning Forward and something is off
for him - he feels like running away, he feels
crowded - whatever reason - and THEN, almost on a
whim, he turns back on again (just enough to have
sex with you) and then he turns back off again.
What can turn him back on in this case is how
EASY we are.
If we suddenly get really easy, and we seem to
drop our wanting of a relationship and he feels
we've made "peace" with "Just being friends" -
that's when he'll turn back on again for quick,
easy, NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED SEX.
And, guess what?
It doesn't mean anything to him.
There's no way on this planet (perhaps this
Universe) that a man can turn back on to a woman
he's turned off of JUST BECAUSE she has sex with
him.
Once we've agreed to "sport sex" - that's the
way it is. We're like "one of the boys."
We're a "sex buddy."
And then we have to pretend it was all okay
(because we DID say it was okay to be "friends" -
so we have to stick with that story).
And that feels worse than awful.
That feels like being a disposable tissue.
And from that we can never recover the romance.
The only way to turn this around is to stop
being friends.
Stop the relationship. And...
...Turn YOURSELF into an "Object of Desire."
You may not want to do that.
It may feel like too much work.
Here's where my Modern Siren program, and the
whole idea of being a "Siren", comes in - becoming
an object of desire actually REMOVES all the
effort.
It TAKES AWAY all the work.
It turns you and your life into something
amazing and desirable that every MAN has to WORK
FOR!
Can you see how this "Turn-around" is in your
own idea of yourself?
That instead of YOU trying to get HIM to be
segxwal and romantic - you turn YOURSELF and your
own life into ROMANCE.
That means you cut off all effort instantly,
you go IMMEDIATELY into Circular Dating and Dating
Yourself - and you let HIM take care of his OWN
problems.
You let him take care of his segxwal issues and
his commitment issues, and his fear, and
everything else that could possibly be getting in
his way.
You leave him alone to take care of himself.
And when he figures his OWN self out, then
he'll look over at you having this AMAZING, FUN
life, and do everything in his power to get you
back again.
You let HIM find YOU.
And by then, you may have met another - way
BETTER - man.
By then - you'll have a CHOICE. He won't be
the only game in town.
| Posted: at | |
FlyMamacita
wandepope
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