5 regrets people have on their death bed

Date: 11-01-2012 2:43 am (12 years ago) | Author: Diliduo
[1] 2 3
- at 11-01-2012 02:43 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.
I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical
details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Source :http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/


Posted: at 11-01-2012 02:43 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
- malvin2525 at 11-01-2012 05:11 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
 Undecided Undecided Undecided Undecided Undecided
Posted: at 11-01-2012 05:11 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Ecto at 11-01-2012 05:54 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
That must be in the western countries not in Africa or Nigeria.

Ask Nigeria nurses about the same thing and hear wonders!
Posted: at 11-01-2012 05:54 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Simon-Zeletus at 11-01-2012 06:18 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Okay we hear but this is not moment for this we are in Nigeria war right now
Posted: at 11-01-2012 06:18 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- zeigbo at 11-01-2012 06:27 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Reading and passing

Posted: at 11-01-2012 06:27 AM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- diliduo at 11-01-2012 06:38 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Ecto on 11-01-2012 05:54 AM
That must be in the western countries not in Africa or Nigeria.

Ask Nigeria nurses about the same thing and hear wonders!

lol, that's a very funny statement

@ Simon-Zeletus, I rebuke that in Jesus name. Our nation's crisis will not progress to "Nigeria war". AMEN
Posted: at 11-01-2012 06:38 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- cynclara at 11-01-2012 07:21 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
Abroad or not ℓ̊ believe d̶̲̥̅̊ facts apply universally. Nigeria ωiℓℓ not experience war again IJN though that Ȋ̝̊̅§  ΨђA̶̲̥̅Ʈ BH  A̶̲̥̅̊₪D̶̲̥̅̊ their likes are aiming at,they ωiℓℓ all fail
Posted: at 11-01-2012 07:21 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- wandepope at 11-01-2012 08:44 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
This is funny and serious at the same time.
Posted: at 11-01-2012 08:44 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Lekan22 at 11-01-2012 08:46 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
hmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Posted: at 11-01-2012 08:46 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Bazemaster at 11-01-2012 08:55 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
hmmmm, they 'wished'...if wishes were roses.....

Posted: at 11-01-2012 08:55 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- lopez2424 at 11-01-2012 08:56 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Simon-Zeletus on 11-01-2012 06:18 AM
Okay we hear but this is not moment for this we are in Nigeria war right now
Grin Grin Grin
Posted: at 11-01-2012 08:56 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Eeithis at 11-01-2012 09:01 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Including expressing ur self 2 girl u r dyin 2 b with,girls let start havin fun now dat we r youngoo not when we r old abeg Smiley
Posted: at 11-01-2012 09:01 AM (12 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- onlyGodknows at 11-01-2012 09:04 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Thank U poster. The human nature is the same; black or white. The only difference is that we go about these needs in a different way depending on what surrounds us. EVerybody wants to be loved and appreciated etc, we only regret when we go about these need in an unbecoming or wrong way.
Posted: at 11-01-2012 09:04 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- umuyo101 at 11-01-2012 10:28 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
life is too short, so enjoy it while it last. stop living 4 ppl. follow your mind, dont mind what ppl will say. dont bother what your pastor will say, he is not your God. when u are old, there is no second chance to life.
Posted: at 11-01-2012 10:28 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- proly at 11-01-2012 11:03 AM (12 years ago)
(f)
ooooooooooooooooooddddddddd
Posted: at 11-01-2012 11:03 AM (12 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Andybest1 at 11-01-2012 12:14 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
gud 1
Posted: at 11-01-2012 12:14 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- mediaexcell at 11-01-2012 12:29 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: diliduo on 11-01-2012 02:43 AM
Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.
I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical
details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Source :http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/


its all true, pple are passing through these dilemmas daily... u cant blame anyone for this, sometimes they dont really have a choice, situations demands it and u push down the pedals to catch up with it. how would one know that they would eventually failed. such is life!
Posted: at 11-01-2012 12:29 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- mediaexcell at 11-01-2012 12:41 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
 Huh? Huh?
Posted: at 11-01-2012 12:41 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- silviabells at 11-01-2012 01:40 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
lol
Posted: at 11-01-2012 01:40 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- indisputable at 11-01-2012 02:11 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
Lighter mode *activated*
Posted: at 11-01-2012 02:11 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
[1] 2 3