i am not sure i can rush to marriage We met around 4 years ago, we fell in love, and planned to marry, but slowly and surely I feel myself sometimes cringing at the thought of marriage with my girlfriend. I am not a horrible person, or at least I try not to be one (Or perhaps I am but don't want to admit it, but the anonymity of Net allows me to be frank and bare all without pretense), but I find more and more trapped/claustrophobic whatever you call it.
-Her dad STOPPED working after losses in business so obviously they are not well off and I suspect we might have to support them if we get married Currently she gives them all her salary keeping just 5K for her personal use, and that money runs their household, sort of (Her grand father's pension also supplies part of the expenses)
Her brother has decided to stop studying after Class12th. WTF? And he is not that much of a law abiding citizen anyways. Involved in a couple of petty thefts already. Although to his credit, He hasn't got caught yet
They (her parents and mine) have been dead against our relationship cos of the caste issue.
Two to three years down the line she plans to stop working as well ...
Am I being selfish in thinking of breaking up? I just feel too uncomfortable just rushing into a life long commitment supporting her family...
Posted: at 23-02-2012 08:00 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Treasure2 at 23-02-2012 08:11 AM (13 years ago) (f)
@Gimac, one question i want you to answer here is, do you love her? Your relationship with her should not be base on family problems or sentiment. Think very well bc marriage is not friendship at all.
Posted: at 23-02-2012 08:11 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
judging by ur comments, i dnt think u really digg her like tht. i cn see tht marrying her to put u thru a lot in life which might result to u being unhappy forever or for a period. well, if there is no love in u for her, why keep her? stop wasting her time now and end the relationship b4 she starts hopin on u.
marriage goes a long way my brother and if u end up marrying her, u won't appreciate her. its better she start lookin for a better person now b4 its too late. and stop having sex with her. if u knw u are doubting ur future plans for her, stop using her.
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:21 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
@Gimac, one question i want you to answer here is, do you love her? Your relationship with her should not be base on family problems or sentiment. Think very well bc marriage is not friendship at all.
oh sorry i did not tell you ,it was friend story that posted here,beside i can not love another person where you are here
Posted: at 23-02-2012 08:18 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
judging by ur comments, i dnt think u really digg her like tht. i cn see tht marrying her to put u thru a lot in life which might result to u being unhappy forever or for a period. well, if there is no love in u for her, why keep her? stop wasting her time now and end the relationship b4 she starts hopin on u.
marriage goes a long way my brother and if u end up marrying her, u won't appreciate her. its better she start lookin for a better person now b4 its too late. and stop having sex with her. if u knw u are doubting ur future plans for her, stop using her.
nawoo,which kind person are you?
Posted: at 23-02-2012 08:23 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Very well then. The man does not love the girl. Because what if he was in the shoe of the lady how would he have handled this case? They should separate for two months without making any contact. After the end of that two months he will know whether he really love her or not. But for me, I think he is a materialistic being else he will never think of his girl's circumstances at this moment. But the two of them should pray over it. I also believe that he is confused during this trial season, so let him talk to other experienced couples, or better still he should do a 3 days fasting privately without the girl consent, and see what God has to say.
Posted: at 23-02-2012 08:58 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Very well then. The man does not love the girl. Because what if he was in the shoe of the lady how would he have handled this case? They should separate for two months without making any contact. After the end of that two months he will know whether he really love her or not. But for me, I think he is a materialistic being else he will never think of his girl's circumstances at this moment. But the two of them should pray over it. I also believe that he is confused during this trial season, so let him talk to other experienced couples, or better still he should do a 3 days fasting privately without the girl consent, and see what God has to say.
you sound right ,the guys in question have said he can not carry the girls family for now ur to some circumstance surrounding his work
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:04 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
SugarLips4U at 23-02-2012 09:11 PM (13 years ago) (m)
@poster, Ur guy na "for worse 4 go, for better 4 stay" instead of him thinkin of hw he can help his girlfriend of 4 yrs thru her family's tryin times, e dey think watin i no fit talk frm my mouth.. na wa ooo
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:11 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
@poster, Ur guy na "for worse 4 go, for better 4 stay" instead of him thinkin of hw he can help his girlfriend of 4 yrs thru her family's tryin times, e dey think watin i no fit talk frm my mouth.. na wa ooo
it is money issue
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:16 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Well, since you are not the guy, I guess you won't be able to answer the able question. Now is it clear to see that true love does exist. But the guy does not love her at all. Times like this, is when we can actually analyze the meaning of genuine love.
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:27 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
SugarLips4U at 23-02-2012 09:34 PM (13 years ago) (m)
Quote from: gimac on 23-02-2012 09:16 PM
it is money issue
I will advice you to tell your friend, marriage is not what u rush into, if he still luvs d girl, let him suspend the marriage thing, after-all they hv been 2gether for 4yrs nw, and this short time will nt stop it except he dose not luv d girl again, call the girl 4 a heart to heart talk on wht they both want for themselves, let him try to bring up ideas/suggestions that they can work on to better the girls family since that is the only issue here. Tell him, he shuld be helpful to her at this time of her life and not jst abandoning her cos her family is passing thru a tryin time..
i no sabi type plenty my brother, more to say, if u are interested, u fit send me mail sha, we go yan more..
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:34 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
But I said that whatever is going on now has nothing to do with the guy. The only thing that matters right now is for him to search himself whether he still love her or not.
Buh-bye!
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:37 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
I will advice you to tell your friend, marriage is not what u rush into, if he still luvs d girl, let him suspend the marriage thing, after-all they hv been 2gether for 4yrs nw, and this short time will nt stop it except he dose not luv d girl again, call the girl 4 a heart to heart talk on wht they both want for themselves, let him try to bring up ideas/suggestions that they can work on to better the girls family since that is the only issue here. Tell him, he shuld be helpful to her at this time of her life and not jst abandoning her cos her family is passing thru a tryin time..
i no sabi type plenty my brother, more to say, if u are interested, u fit send me mail sha, we go yan more..
I know you. It took u all these while to type this small mathias.
Posted: at 23-02-2012 09:39 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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