Encourage her to tell you what she likes, especially if she doesn't usually speak up.
Have a sense of humor and don't be goal-oriented; most women like ******** and want to ejaculate, but for them it's less a goal than part of the overall experience of making love.
All of the attempts you make, even if they don't result in ********, move both of you farther along the learning curve and increase the likelihood of eventual success. Women like to include their partners in activities, and segxwality is no exception. But from a woman's perspective, men can be too enthusiastic and rush into "getting the job done." Nothing prevents ******** more effectively than pressure to ejaculate! Most women need time to talk about female ********, to explore its twists and turns, before they actually attempt it.
As I've said throughout this book, they will have the best chances of success if their first explorations are made solo. So, for example, if she expresses interest in ejaculating, say something like, "Oh, have you ever done that before?" or "Where did you hear about that?" This may seem evasive to you, but such questions can help her figure out exactly what she wants to do. If she complains about not being able to ejaculate, or if she's wishing she could, say something like, "Oh, that sounds interesting," or "Did you hear or read something about that?" Keep asking questions for a while. When she answers, the best response is to reflect back to her what she just said. For example, if she says, "I've been hearing about it from a friend," respond by saying, "So you've got some new information. What did she tell you?"
Drawing her out further is wise, even if what she's said seems plain enough to you, because she's giving you a signal to talk, rather than a signal to act. So take time to discuss female ******** before you jump in and try to help out with something that she may not yet be ready to attempt. This can help you to avoid a frustrating first experience in which you both end up feeling like you've failed.
The following section sums up a lot of the information from the rest of this book. It also might be a good idea to read Chapter 4, which has more details about how a woman assesses her readiness to ejaculate and how she can learn and practice ejaculating on her own. Before you begin trying to help her ejaculate, check the following three things:
Strength of her PC muscles. An essential point: Your partner can't ejaculate if her honeypotl (PC) muscles are weak. Some guys think that a woman with a loose honeypot has, as one man told me, "screwed around too much," but that is not the case. A loose honeypot just indicates that her PC muscles are weak from lack of exercise. Trying to get her to ejaculate will be a frustrating experience until her PC muscles are tightened and strengthened. If her honeypot feels loose during intercourse, that's a sure sign that she needs to do PC exercises - have a look at Chapter 5, where these exercises are explained. Encourage her to do them, and to practice them on your love tool, too! Having stronger PC muscles not only feels great for both of you, it encourages all around honeypotl health. When you both feel that her honeypot is tighter when you have sex, that is a signal that she is ready, muscle-wise at least, to attempt to ejaculate.
Don't bruise the grapes! A woman who can firmly clamp down on your penis is nice, as you know, but feeling the firmness of a full and bursting G-spot against your penis is even better! Consider the G-spot a small bunch of very full and juicy grapes. But don't bruise the grapes! Make them burst instead! Your penis is their sunshine, and when the grapes are nourished, they become fully ripened orbs containing juices that will burst over you!
Her attitude toward ejaculate. Letting go is the aspect of female ******** that is most difficult for most women to master. If she is afraid she is going to urinate on you and that you will be upset, she will have a hard time ejaculating. Reassure her more than once: "It probably won't be urine, and if it is, I don't care."
Deep-seated segxwal issues. Awakening the G-spot is an important step in a woman's segxwal life, and it can bring up all kinds of emotional issues. If a woman shuts down abruptly once she begins learning to ejaculate, give her some time away from ejaculating for a while. Reassure her by saying, "It's okay if you don't ejaculate." If she continues to distance you segxwally, check out Chapter 8 - there may be some deeper issues involved. Once you feel that she may be ready to attempt ********, ask her if she wants your help. If she says yes, check again, asking in a caring tone: "Are you sure?" This is not a put-down; it's just a confirmation for both of you. If you are greeted with another affirmative, the next section will help you to discover where her G-spot is and how to help her ejaculate. More are still coming up.
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