Are You Blocking Your Chance at Love?

[1] 2
at 05:11 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(8078 | Hero) (f)
Will you let your relationship insecurities block your chance at love?

We all have insecurities to some degree. We have days where we wake up ready to conquer the world. Sometimes we have bad days where we suffer from lingering feelings of self-doubt. It's part of life. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us, especially in areas of love and relationships. So when does relationship insecurity start to block your chances at love?

This week, a reader writes:

"I broke up with my ex about a year ago and for awhile, it was pretty hard for me to move on. It wasn't the best relationship but it was still pretty hard for me to get to a point where I wanted to date. About 4 months ago, I met this new guy and we have been dating exclusively for almost a month. He's a sweet guy, but I catch myself being angry with him for things that my ex did. I know that on some level, I am sabotaging my relationship with him for fear of being hurt and I want to get rid of this insecurity before I mess things up. What should I do?"

When your bad days start to outnumber the good and your insecurities start interfering with your ability to foster relationships, it's time for some serious self-reflection.

Insecurities are fear-based beliefs that are birthed from bad experiences. These experiences have been flagged in our memories and provoke unhealthy emotional responses against ourselves and others. If left unchecked, it can take over your life and prevent you from getting the things you truly want and need to be happy.

Whether you are currently in a relationship or on a search for one, there is one thing that needs to be understood for you to move forward; until you fully address those areas of insecurity, any progress you make in your relationships will more than likely be temporary.

There's no quick fix. It definitely takes a positive attitude, a lot of patience and a genuine want and need for change. They key is to learn to control the way you react and respond to the events that trigger these insecurities.

Here are some things to consider that might help you get on track:

    You have to figure these emotions out. What is the problem? Why do you feel the way you feel?
    Own it – whatever the problem is, however you feel about it, it's yours, and you are responsible for whatever comes of it.
    Set Goals, make a plan and take action.
    Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
    Revisit your plan and measure progress.
    Stop comparing yourself to others.
flames4u at 06:29 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(92 | Newbie) (m)
ow k na....i'll put dat in mind
Reply
ebiteck at 07:57 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(2827 | Gistmaniac) (m)
thats your business..not mine
Reply
Shegzan at 08:18 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(7005 | Gistmaniac) (m)
Well, lyk I care tho'!

Reply
chicco77 at 09:22 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(22619 | Addicted Hero) (f)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Reply
etibaba at 09:25 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(4165 | Gistmaniac) (m)
Ok

Reply
beneno at 09:28 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(26113 | Addicted Hero) (m)
 Roll Eyes  Roll Eyes
Reply
proly at 09:32 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(14853 | Hero) Online (f)
kkk
Reply
merion at 09:41 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(3011 | Gistmaniac) (f)
who carez
Reply
zoe61 at 09:50 PM, 6/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(15337 | Hero) (f)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Reply
BlueIxora at 12:14 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(5888 | Gistmaniac) (f)
Cool
Reply
morgrawl231 at 02:35 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(10519 | Hero) (m)
NOTED OOOOOOH!!!
Reply
Biafranwar at 03:57 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(2904 | Gistmaniac) (m)
On ur own
Reply
vantheo at 07:33 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(11399 | Hero) (m)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes

Reply
winace at 09:05 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(30673 | Addicted Hero) (f)
Ok
Reply
ezchusa at 09:07 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(3744 | Gistmaniac) (m)
ok

Reply
sophiebaby at 10:49 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(31173 | Addicted Hero) (f)
ok

Reply
OwesomeGod at 10:53 AM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(1798 | Gistmaniac) (m)
Idiot, can't you be without fornication and pray to God to guide you to whom he destined for you?.. All these sex addict girls..
Reply
Senegal at 09:59 PM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(10385 | Hero) (m)
OK
Reply
osamabinladin at 10:08 PM, 7/06/2013 (5 years ago)
(13670 | Hero) (m)
Noted !
Reply
[1] 2

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