"Coming Out As A Lesbian Is The Best Decision I Ever Made" - Says Calabar Lesbian, Pamela Adie

“The first thing I learned is that I’m on my own. It took me a while to realize this because I kept expecting and waiting on family and friends to show support, give approval, and accept me.
Very few did. The others remained silent. And they’re still silent till today because neither has bothered to break the silence. Pamela Adie says coming out as a lesbian was the best decision che made
The second lesson is that nobody owes me anything. There’s a tendency to feel entitled to peoples love, acceptance, and financial resources based on their supposed role in our lives...
Mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, niece, bestie, friend, etc. Nothing could be more false. You’re not entitled to anything. You want something, work hard for it. Bear the consequences."

“The sooner I started to feel less entitled, the happier I became. I engaged with those that wanted to engage, laughed with those that wanted to laugh. If I was in need, I asked.
If I got, I appreciated, if I didn’t, no hard feelings. Life continued. That’s how I live my life even now and I’m getting better at it. So, instead of feeling like people owe you anything, work hard on your own and be grateful for life helpers you meet along the way.”

“My pain became more than my fear. I came out because I needed to be free from pain, from telling my loved ones lies, from living a double life as a lesbian and a married woman. The burden was just too heavy to bear.
When I came out, I came out to free myself. I didn’t come out because I wanted to be an activist or because I wanted to prove a point. It was really about me.
Even before I came out, I was already in a same-sex relationship but I never saw myself as a lesbian. I hadn’t come out to myself and I always thought that when I get married, it will somehow go away. That’s one of the reasons I eventually got married.
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Pamela Adie said she has always been a lesbian all her life
At the end of the day, it didn’t go away because it’s not something that goes away. Your segxwal orientation is part of who you are and it’s not a choice.”