How To Get Your Ex Lover Back After Divorce

[1] 2 3
at 09:06 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(31173 | Addicted Hero) (f)
All marriages have some problems, you need to work out what the problem was that is caused the break down of your marriage. It may be that you already know the answer to this question. If you do not know why your wife left you, then take a look at this checklist for some possible clues. Do any of them apply to you? If so, you may need to do some work on yourself before you can win back your ex.

    * Were the emotional needs of your wife being met in your relationship?
    * Had the passion gone from your marriage?
    * Had you both slowly drifted apart over time?
    * Did one or both of you have an affair?
    * Were you guilty of not showing your ex enough attention?
    * Did you have financial or work problems which put a strain on your relationship?
    * Did you act badly or abusively towards your wife?
    * Did you try to be controlling?
    * Did you make compliments, buy flowers, act romantically?
    * Did you always remember anniversaries and birthdays?
    * If you have children did you spend enough quality time with them?
    * Were you a good husband?
    * Did you take each other for granted?
    * Were you needy or clingy in your relationship?

Once you have established why she has walked out of your marriage, you can begin to address the question of how to get your wife back. Maybe there is a need for you to undertake some course of self-improvement or therapy. You can get your wife to love you again when you understand the reasons why she left and are willing to address these issues and put them right.

If you are currently separated or even divorced the steps to success are the same. You need to have as little possible contact with your ex-wife as possible. This may be difficult if there are children involved in your relationship, there may be issues of child custody or access to decide which may mean that you still need to be in regular contact with your ex partner, it may be that you get to have the kids at weekends which means you still see her every week. If you are still in contact with your ex-wife then it is very important that you behave correctly when you do meet up.

Do not beg your estranged wife to come back, do not appear to be desperate to get your wife back. Give the impression that you are getting on perfectly well with your life without her in it. Women do not like weak men, so do not act in a needy or clingy way. Let her know that you would like to have her back, but do this by honestly and openly saying how you feel. Do not appear desperate though, she needs to understand that while you would like repair your marriage, you are going to get on with your life perfectly fine on your own, you may even meet a new girlfriend. You managed perfectly well without her before you met, so there is no reason why you cannot manage without your ex partner now that she has walked out and said she wants a divorce. This will make your wife stop and think, she may begin to question whether she has done the right thing by leaving you.

You should begin to focus on yourself rather than how you are going to win back your wife. Perhaps you have put on a few pounds since you and your wife first met. Maybe you do not take as much care with your appearance as you used to do and have let yourself go a bit. Perhaps it might be a good idea for you to join a gym or take up a sport. This will help to take your mind off getting her back and will give you the chance to make new friends and meet new people who do not think of you as being half of a couple.

Consider getting yourself some new clothes, perhaps get a new haircut. Take a pride in your appearance, you will feel much better about yourself and will greatly improve your chances of getting your ex back even if she has a new boyfriend. She will begin to feel that maybe she is missing out by not being in a marriage with you.

You will begin to establish yourself as a confident, strong, independent, fit and well dressed man. The sort of man who attracts women. The chances are that your ex-wife will find this extremely attractive. You will probably be much more like the man that she originally fell in love with and wanted to marry. Using this strategy works much better than pleading and begging and saying that you want her back. Actions speak louder than words and what you do will have much more effect on your chances of getting back your wife than what you say.

In conclusion, it is possible to discover a method of how to get your wife back if you have a plan to follow. There are many couples who have gotten divorced and have then subsequently remarried. All people and all relationships are different, but as long as one partner wants a reconciliation then there is still hope. If that one partner is willing to analyse what went wrong with the relationship, identify any problems and work on fixing them then there is an even better chance that they will be able to get their wife back, even after divorce.

People sometimes do marry the same person twice believe it or not

It's not impossible to get your wife back after you have divorced. If you want to know how to get your wife back after divorce you could look for inspiration at one of the most famous examples of people marrying twice. The actor Richard Burton remarried Elizabeth Taylor again after they got divorced. But how can two people that have gone through the trauma of divorce, ever get back together again?

It's a lot easier to prevent divorce before it gets to the point of legal separation and finality but the process of patching things up and getting back together again is the same whether you have divorced or not.

I'm not a marriage councillor nor did I manage to prevent my 20-year relationship from breaking up amicably when we had drifted apart. Over the years I've watched as many of my friends got divorced and I've noticed a few things that are common in all these situations including my own.

The broken relationships that I've witnessed seemed to fail either because neither partner wanted to save it, or just one of the pair wanted to and used techniques that appeared very reasonable at the time but were completely ineffective.

If at least one of you wants to stop divorce then you have a chance to do so

I guess that there's nothing to be done when neither partner wants to save the marriage but there has to be at least a chance if one of you does. So what is it that so many people in this situation do wrong?

Perhaps they try too hard. They plead with their partner to reconsider and promise that they will change their ways. This is natural human behaviour and most would consider it a reasonable course to take but it rarely works unfortunately. If you're trying to get your wife back after a divorce or prevent your marriage breaking up then pleading is the last thing you should do. You should be concentrating on making yourself more attractive to your partner instead of persuading her that you're weak by pleading and lying about changes that you'll make that she knows that you won't.

Be strong, that's how to get your wife back after divorce

Don't plead, don't argue and don't become inconsistent by agreeing with her opinion just because you think that's what she wants to hear. Be strong, dress well and start to take charge of your own life. Show her that you can live without her; she just might decide that she's missing something by not being with you.

Women are attracted to men who are strong and capable of protecting them. They're repulsed by weak pleading and prefer to do the chasing themselves. So be strong, confident, self sufficient and consistent with your opinions. It could make all the difference and the secret of how to get your wife back after divorce.

 Tip No. 1

Persevere. Keep Trying.

As long as she hasn’t leaned towards the channels of a divorce, it probably isn’t too late.
You can still reconcile, and becoming frantic won’t help the situation.

But it will take time. You are not going to learn how to get your wife back after a separation overnight.

Tip #2)

Learn how to deal with your emotions. Don’t get argumentative, or let your emotions carry you away and make you unreasonable, or unintelligible.

Tip #3:

Marriage counseling is worth looking into.

There are times when all you require is that neutral 3rd party. This person can assist you both to see what the other one is feeling and needing, can help you target the troubled areas, and can help you reach some meaningful resolutions.

As soon as your filters go down and the real problems manifest themselves, you’ll be able to get help from the marriage counselor and patch things up.

You have to figure out the trouble spots in your relationship in order to plug them.
You can find out how to get your wife back after a separation more progressively through this effective method.



qunodinga at 09:09 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(4225 | Gistmaniac) (f)
Sohie..............summarize ur post..... if you want peeps to comment
Reply
brightossy at 09:10 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(7441 | Gistmaniac) (m)
Owhsss! My eyes
Reply
sexy_error at 09:11 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(770 | Upcoming) (f)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 09:06 AM, 13 Jul 10
All marriages have some problems, you need to work out what the problem was that is caused the break down of your marriage. It may be that you already know the answer to this question. If you do not know why your wife left you, then take a look at this checklist for some possible clues. Do any of them apply to you? If so, you may need to do some work on yourself before you can win back your ex.

    * Were the emotional needs of your wife being met in your relationship?
    * Had the passion gone from your marriage?
    * Had you both slowly drifted apart over time?
    * Did one or both of you have an affair?
    * Were you guilty of not showing your ex enough attention?
    * Did you have financial or work problems which put a strain on your relationship?
    * Did you act badly or abusively towards your wife?
    * Did you try to be controlling?
    * Did you make compliments, buy flowers, act romantically?
    * Did you always remember anniversaries and birthdays?
    * If you have children did you spend enough quality time with them?
    * Were you a good husband?
    * Did you take each other for granted?
    * Were you needy or clingy in your relationship?

Once you have established why she has walked out of your marriage, you can begin to address the question of how to get your wife back. Maybe there is a need for you to undertake some course of self-improvement or therapy. You can get your wife to love you again when you understand the reasons why she left and are willing to address these issues and put them right.

If you are currently separated or even divorced the steps to success are the same. You need to have as little possible contact with your ex-wife as possible. This may be difficult if there are children involved in your relationship, there may be issues of child custody or access to decide which may mean that you still need to be in regular contact with your ex partner, it may be that you get to have the kids at weekends which means you still see her every week. If you are still in contact with your ex-wife then it is very important that you behave correctly when you do meet up.

Do not beg your estranged wife to come back, do not appear to be desperate to get your wife back. Give the impression that you are getting on perfectly well with your life without her in it. Women do not like weak men, so do not act in a needy or clingy way. Let her know that you would like to have her back, but do this by honestly and openly saying how you feel. Do not appear desperate though, she needs to understand that while you would like repair your marriage, you are going to get on with your life perfectly fine on your own, you may even meet a new girlfriend. You managed perfectly well without her before you met, so there is no reason why you cannot manage without your ex partner now that she has walked out and said she wants a divorce. This will make your wife stop and think, she may begin to question whether she has done the right thing by leaving you.

You should begin to focus on yourself rather than how you are going to win back your wife. Perhaps you have put on a few pounds since you and your wife first met. Maybe you do not take as much care with your appearance as you used to do and have let yourself go a bit. Perhaps it might be a good idea for you to join a gym or take up a sport. This will help to take your mind off getting her back and will give you the chance to make new friends and meet new people who do not think of you as being half of a couple.

Consider getting yourself some new clothes, perhaps get a new haircut. Take a pride in your appearance, you will feel much better about yourself and will greatly improve your chances of getting your ex back even if she has a new boyfriend. She will begin to feel that maybe she is missing out by not being in a marriage with you.

You will begin to establish yourself as a confident, strong, independent, fit and well dressed man. The sort of man who attracts women. The chances are that your ex-wife will find this extremely attractive. You will probably be much more like the man that she originally fell in love with and wanted to marry. Using this strategy works much better than pleading and begging and saying that you want her back. Actions speak louder than words and what you do will have much more effect on your chances of getting back your wife than what you say.

In conclusion, it is possible to discover a method of how to get your wife back if you have a plan to follow. There are many couples who have gotten divorced and have then subsequently remarried. All people and all relationships are different, but as long as one partner wants a reconciliation then there is still hope. If that one partner is willing to analyse what went wrong with the relationship, identify any problems and work on fixing them then there is an even better chance that they will be able to get their wife back, even after divorce.

People sometimes do marry the same person twice believe it or not

It's not impossible to get your wife back after you have divorced. If you want to know how to get your wife back after divorce you could look for inspiration at one of the most famous examples of people marrying twice. The actor Richard Burton remarried Elizabeth Taylor again after they got divorced. But how can two people that have gone through the trauma of divorce, ever get back together again?

It's a lot easier to prevent divorce before it gets to the point of legal separation and finality but the process of patching things up and getting back together again is the same whether you have divorced or not.

I'm not a marriage councillor nor did I manage to prevent my 20-year relationship from breaking up amicably when we had drifted apart. Over the years I've watched as many of my friends got divorced and I've noticed a few things that are common in all these situations including my own.

The broken relationships that I've witnessed seemed to fail either because neither partner wanted to save it, or just one of the pair wanted to and used techniques that appeared very reasonable at the time but were completely ineffective.

If at least one of you wants to stop divorce then you have a chance to do so

I guess that there's nothing to be done when neither partner wants to save the marriage but there has to be at least a chance if one of you does. So what is it that so many people in this situation do wrong?

Perhaps they try too hard. They plead with their partner to reconsider and promise that they will change their ways. This is natural human behaviour and most would consider it a reasonable course to take but it rarely works unfortunately. If you're trying to get your wife back after a divorce or prevent your marriage breaking up then pleading is the last thing you should do. You should be concentrating on making yourself more attractive to your partner instead of persuading her that you're weak by pleading and lying about changes that you'll make that she knows that you won't.

Be strong, that's how to get your wife back after divorce

Don't plead, don't argue and don't become inconsistent by agreeing with her opinion just because you think that's what she wants to hear. Be strong, dress well and start to take charge of your own life. Show her that you can live without her; she just might decide that she's missing something by not being with you.

Women are attracted to men who are strong and capable of protecting them. They're repulsed by weak pleading and prefer to do the chasing themselves. So be strong, confident, self sufficient and consistent with your opinions. It could make all the difference and the secret of how to get your wife back after divorce.

 Tip No. 1

Persevere. Keep Trying.

As long as she hasn’t leaned towards the channels of a divorce, it probably isn’t too late.
You can still reconcile, and becoming frantic won’t help the situation.

But it will take time. You are not going to learn how to get your wife back after a separation overnight.

Tip #2)

Learn how to deal with your emotions. Don’t get argumentative, or let your emotions carry you away and make you unreasonable, or unintelligible.

Tip #3:

Marriage counseling is worth looking into.

There are times when all you require is that neutral 3rd party. This person can assist you both to see what the other one is feeling and needing, can help you target the troubled areas, and can help you reach some meaningful resolutions.

As soon as your filters go down and the real problems manifest themselves, you’ll be able to get help from the marriage counselor and patch things up.

You have to figure out the trouble spots in your relationship in order to plug them.
You can find out how to get your wife back after a separation more progressively through this effective method.




you see how you want am..... Sad Sad Sad Sad
Reply
sophiebaby at 09:13 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(31173 | Addicted Hero) (f)
   1. Give both of you time to clear the air. Don't make any contacts with them for a set time. Two weeks or a month should be enough to let the strong emotions settle down. This is important. Both of you must be level headed before any contacts happen.
   2. Make the first post break up call – the purpose of this is to open up a channel of reconciliation and not to blame, beg or crawl back to them. You must have as much self-control as possible.
   3. Be strong to admit your fault and hear out your partner. You must communicate, really listen.

Remember, through this process you must maintain self-confidence and keep your cool. You should never under any circumstances cry, beg, and crawl back to your ex partner. It will only give you the opposite result.

Reply
sexy_error at 09:23 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(770 | Upcoming) (f)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 09:13 AM, 13 Jul 10
   1. Give both of you time to clear the air. Don't make any contacts with them for a set time. Two weeks or a month should be enough to let the strong emotions settle down. This is important. Both of you must be level headed before any contacts happen.
   2. Make the first post break up call – the purpose of this is to open up a channel of reconciliation and not to blame, beg or crawl back to them. You must have as much self-control as possible.
   3. Be strong to admit your fault and hear out your partner. You must communicate, really listen.

Remember, through this process you must maintain self-confidence and keep your cool. You should never under any circumstances cry, beg, and crawl back to your ex partner. It will only give you the opposite result.

Na wetin you for do since now?

the last  sentence...i no like am..o..o.  why???..
Reply
sophiebaby at 09:29 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(31173 | Addicted Hero) (f)
WHY U NO LIKE AM

Reply
bittersweet at 09:34 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(14316 | Hero) (f)
If we got to divorce, why on earth should I want him back?
No,thanks!

Reply
oyindabty at 09:38 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(2101 | Gistmaniac) (f)
could not read tru becos am in d office can u reduce it so tht i can comment on dis.
Reply
sexy_error at 09:41 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(770 | Upcoming) (f)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 09:29 AM, 13 Jul 10
WHY U NO LIKE AM

I strongly believe in a second chance
Reply
bittersweet at 09:42 AM, 13 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(14316 | Hero) (f)
Quote from: sexy_error on 09:41 AM, 13 Jul 10
Quote from: sophiebaby on 09:29 AM, 13 Jul 10
WHY U NO LIKE AM

I strongly believe in a second chance

Second chance? Ha!
Let his mama to give him a second chance!

Reply
omorewa at 01:44 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(3437 | Gistmaniac) (f)
wow Shocked

Reply
bittersweet at 09:25 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(14316 | Hero) (f)
Quote from: omorewa on 01:44 AM, 14 Jul 10
wow Shocked

What it is,my dear?

Reply
bittersweet at 09:26 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(14316 | Hero) (f)
Quote from: bittersweet on 09:25 AM, 14 Jul 10
Quote from: omorewa on 01:44 AM, 14 Jul 10
wow Shocked

Correction:
What is it,my dear?

Reply
xter at 09:30 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(26051 | Addicted Hero) (m)
where i go start to dey read dis? Shey na from middle?

Reply
bhl72 at 09:32 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(1114 | Gistmaniac) (m)
Quote from: bittersweet on 09:42 AM, 13 Jul 10
Quote from: sexy_error on 09:41 AM, 13 Jul 10
Quote from: sophiebaby on 09:29 AM, 13 Jul 10
WHY U NO LIKE AM

I strongly believe in a second chance

Second chance? Ha!
Let his mama to give him a second chance!

are you this hard? Comeon, second chances exist... if he blows that, then...
Reply
sophiebaby at 09:57 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(31173 | Addicted Hero) (f)
passing

Reply
faithaina at 10:21 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(523 | Upcoming) (f)
Too long to read
Reply
bittersweet at 10:26 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(14316 | Hero) (f)
Quote from: bhl72 on 09:32 AM, 14 Jul 10
Quote from: bittersweet on 09:42 AM, 13 Jul 10
Quote from: sexy_error on 09:41 AM, 13 Jul 10
Quote from: sophiebaby on 09:29 AM, 13 Jul 10
WHY U NO LIKE AM

I strongly believe in a second chance

Second chance? Ha!
Let his mama to give him a second chance!

are you this hard? Comeon, second chances exist... if he blows that, then...

Depends on situation!
But usually I don't give a 2nd chance!

Reply
sophiebaby at 10:29 AM, 14 Jul 10 (7 years ago)
(31173 | Addicted Hero) (f)
too bad

Reply
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