well to my own understanding,if she actually love the man,den wat she has pleased and i think she belives that will make her dead loved one happy abt her,for wat ever she does has a reason.
anyway dear,relationship is all about understanding,wisdom and trust.these three thing must be appied,dear,are u inlove with him,if yes,sumbit to him,ask him wat he want from you,make him happy,ok and pray about it.all d best.