What earthly good would exposing him do?  I think your mother is probably right on this one, leave his new family out of this, your beef is with him individually, and go ahead and pursue that.


Its not only in the west. Its everywhere......I was born and raised single handedly in Lagos by my mother. In my case my father was simply irresponsible. Me and my brotha haven't seen him in 25 years cos he came to America and never came back home. So the men are to blame. We guys have to take up responsibilities and be there for our kids and women.

By the way, what do u guys think I should do to my father? He's been living a lie in California. He has wife and kids who doesn't know he was married once. When I came to America and called him his reaction to me was.....'how did u get here'? He never bothers to call me or even try to see me probably because he wants to keep his secret. Do I go to California and break the ice or just let him be??? Your input to this would be highly appreciated. Thanks y'all.

but u can call their nicknames though....."PAPI!!!!!"
OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And don't call put somebody else's name during sex.

Here we go with the the narrow Sodom and Gomorrah stuff.  Here's some knowledge:

Jewish views

Classical Jewish texts do not stress the homosegxwal aspect of the attitude of the inhabitants of Sodom as much as their cruelty and lack of hospitality to the "stranger." (See Jewish Encyclopedia on the importance of hospitality.) The people of Sodom were seen as guilty of many other significant sins. Rabbinic writings affirm that the Sodomites also committed economic crimes, blasphemy and bloodshed[1]. One of the worst was to give money or even gold ingots to beggars, but to inscribe their names on them, and then subsequently refuse to sell them food. The unfortunate stranger would end up starving and after his death, the people who gave him the money would reclaim it.

A rabbinic tradition, described in the Mishnah, postulates that the sin of Sodom was related to property: Sodomites believed that "what is mine is mine, and what is yours is yours" (Abot), which is interpreted as a lack of compassion. Another rabbinic tradition is that these two wealthy cities treated visitors in a sadistic fashion. One major crime done to strangers was almost identical to that of Procrustes in Greek mythology. This would be the story of the "bed" that guests to Sodom were forced to sleep in: if they were too short they were stretched to fit it, and if they were too tall, they were cut up.

In another incident, Eliezer, Abraham's servant, went to visit Lot in Sodom and got in a dispute with a Sodomite over a beggar, and was hit in the forehead with a stone, making him bleed. The Sodomite demanded Eliezer pay him for the service of bloodletting, and a Sodomite judge sided with the Sodomite. Eliezer then struck the judge in the forehead with a stone and asked the judge to pay the Sodomite.

The Talmud and the book of Jasher also recount two incidents of a young girl (one involved Lot's daughter Paltith) who gave some bread to a poor man who had entered the city. When the townspeople discovered their acts of kindness, they burned Paltith and smeared the other girl's body with honey and hung her from the city wall until she was eaten by bees. (Sanhedrin 109a) It is this gruesome event, and her scream in particular, the Talmud concludes, that are alluded to in the verse that heralds the city’s destruction: "So Hashem said, 'Because the outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah has become great, and because their sin has been very grave, I will descend and see...'" (Genesis 18:20-21).


[edit] The view of Josephus
Flavius Josephus, a Romano-Jewish historian, wrote something along the lines of:

Now, about this time the Sodomites, overwhelmingly proud of their numbers and the extent of their wealth, showed themselves insolent to men and impious to the divinity, insomuch that they no more remembered the benefits that they had received from him, hated foreigners and avoided any contact with others. Indignant at this conduct, God accordingly resolved to chastise them for their arrogance, and not only to uproot their city, but to blast their land so completely that it should yield neither plant nor fruit whatsoever from that time forward.

—Jewish Antiquities 1:194-195
and Josephus recounts that when angels came to Sodom to find good men they were instead greeted by rapists[1]:

And the angels came to the city of the Sodomites...when the Sodomites beheld the young men, who were outstanding in beauty of appearance and who had been received into Lots’s house, they set about to do violence and outrage to their youthful beauty....Therefore, God, indignant at their bold acts, struck them with blindness, so that they were unable to find the entrance into the house, and condemned the Sodomites to destruction of the whole population.

—Jewish Antiquities 1:199-202
He says how beautiful it was before everything was burned up, and how rich the towns were in the area. Josephus described what had happened:

Now this country is then so sadly burnt up, that nobody cares to come to it... It was of old a most happy land, both for the fruits it bore and the riches of its cities, although it be now all burnt up. It is related how for the impiety of its inhabitants, it was burnt by lightning; in consequence of which there are still the remainders of that divine fire; and the shadows of the five cities are still to be seen, as well as the ashes growing in their fruits, which fruits have a colour as if they were fit to be eaten: but if you pluck them with your hands, they will dissolve into smoke and ashes

—The Wars of the Jews, book 4, chapter 8.

[edit] Christian view
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There are two prevailing views of the sin of Sodom in Christian thought. One is that the destruction of Sodom was due to inhospitality, as illustrated by the gifts of God to Abraham for his gracious action, contrasted with consequences of the behavior of the city's inhabitants. First we see hospitality and the way we should act, then inhospitality in that the people of Sodom seek to mistreat the newcomers. The second view is that the cities were destroyed for homosegxwality.

Christian scholars and clerics often have good faith disagreements about the meaning of specific texts, with the writings on Sodom and Gomorrah being no different. The latter view, while being the most common in modern times, is actually the least historical. The word, "sodomy" which first appeared in the 17th century KJV was then used simply to mean wickedness. Modern scholars in favor of the "homosegxwality" theory point to two major parts of the Bible;

First, they argue that "to know" is a Biblical euphemism for segxwal behavior. Thus,

And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where [are] the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

—Genesis 19:5
, is interpreted as a militant solicitation for homosegxwal sex. Second, they argue that homosegxwality is the "strange flesh" mentioned in the following passage,

Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

—Jude 1:7
The other view is derived from the classical Jewish perspective[citation needed], already mentioned, and other portions of the Bible. This view sees the sin of Sodom as being about general malice, xenophobia and inhospitality, and that if "to know" is intended to be a euphemism for sex, it is clearly a case of gang rape.

Thus, "going after strange flesh" may refer to sex with strangers, sex outside of wedlock, or possibly something akin to bestiality[2]

 
In a sixteenth-century depiction by Lucas Van Leyden, a drunken Lot embraces his daughter while Sodom burns in the distance.Now this was the sin of Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.

—Ezekiel 16:49-50
This idea is paralleled in the Gospels when Jesus compares an inhospitable reception to Sodom:

If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

—Matthew 10:14-15
This view of the Biblical story reflects that of other ancient civilizations, such as Greece and Rome, where hospitality was of singular importance and strangers were under the protection of the gods.[2] Also in these civilizations, men were held in a much higher regard than women, in Greece women being often seen as little more than property [3]. Therefore, to demand not only a guest but a male guest be violated against his will would be seen as more of a crime than to allow women to be used to save the guest.[citation needed]

there are some things you can do in a relationship and some that you cannot do. mo matter how close you are to your spours

Yeah it is, until you happens and you are tortured by the idea of another man's d*ck up in her where it's supposed to be sacred to you.

it is worth taking all these into consideration before anything else...
I wont go for a divorce though I will be in a shock but will get over it with time.I might take any action but definitely I will mend things later but ensure it will NEVER happen again...My wife remains My wife...



Simplicity Nurtured by Humility.