A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not
ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some
pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him.
He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone
notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases
another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get
down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells,
"Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."

Two guys raped a princess. When
they were caught and taken to
the king for punishment. The king
ordered them to go and get as
many fruits as they can to bail
themselves.
The first one went and returned
with 15 Mangoes, the king
ordered the guards to insert the
Mango into his ass so that he will
feel the same pain as the raped
Princess. The guy screamed and
shouted throughout the insertion.
Suddenly, he began to laugh out
loud, the guard asked him why he
was laughing in pain.
He pointed ahead and said
"Look at my friend (okon), he is
bringing WATER MELON.

Keycee na u get this body odour?

Some of u guys don't understand english language..

This joke na new born baby

A 16 year old girl fell pregnant
with a 65 year old man,10 years
order than her father.she was
about to write her final exams
and this made her parents so
angry since they were strugling to
raise money for her to go to
scool .her father called her and
said "can u pliz call the boy who
did this to u,i want to deal with
him now".with an angry voice .the
gal called her lover and in no time
he was there.by the gate,parked a
red posh car it was a two door
BMW latest.there came out a white
head man ,their doughter ran and
welcome him.they were shocked
to see these two kissing as at 1st
they thought that this man was
the father of the boy who
inpregnant their doughter
without knowing he was the
öne.the father became so much
angry and his wife told him to
cøol down.the man came in and
said "i'm sory mum and dad and
listen carefuly what i'm going to
do.if she gave birth to a girl i will
buy u a flat and a car,if its a boy
the one i'm olso expecting u will
get two flats a beach house and
two cars,if there are twins u will
get double of this but if she get a
miscariage i..."before he fineshed
the father suddenly brokeup and
said "u will phyuk her again"

There were three babies in a
woman's womb, and they were
discussing what
they would like to be when they
were out in the world and grown
up.
The first one said "I wanna be a
plumber." The others laughed at
this,
and asked why he wanted be be a
plumber. He replied, "So I can fix
the pipes in here, it's kinda leaky."
The second one said "I wanna be
an electrician." The others
thought this was kind of silly too
and asked why.
The second baby answered, "so I
can get some lights in here, its
dark!"
The third one said, "I wanna be a
boxer." The others thought this
was hilarious, and laughed for a
full five minutes,
before asking, "Why in God's
name do you want to be a
boxer?"
He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I
can beat the hell out of that bald
guy who keeps coming in here
and spitting on us.

I hate vomiting

Penis said to his two balls,I`ll take u to party 2night,then d ball replied you bloodly liar,U always go inside and live us outside.Penis said u don't know how I suffer in there,that`s why I always come out Vomiting.

Armatures

Which one be noonan lop cock

Which one be noonan lop cock

A Chinese man married a A nigerian woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away. At the funeral house, the nigeria woman kept sobbing and crying saying : I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!! So a family member pulled her aside and asked her : What did you know? She replied : Chinese products don't last long«lOLll!!!

Me gordons say u make me laf

Instead of cheering her for nice yoke una dey here dey mumu. Pee u try

Hahahahahahahahaha☹ nice one

Hahahahahahahahaha☹ nice one

Husband and Wife agreed dat anytime dey want too have sex,dey will call it a "PHONE CALL" One day the husband sent his son 2 tell his mother dat he want 2 make phone call.......Mother replies tell ur father dat der is no network, Husband: tell ur mother dat if der is no network at home,he will go 2 d public phone, WIFE: tell ur father dat if he dare goes 2 public phone, den i will open a call centre at home,hahahahhahahaha wahala dey ooo

U be mumudian

Hu be dis adamu?