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1181
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 25-08-2009 10:45 PM
| well,to me s nt right and it s written in d bible dt "thou shall nt marry more than one wife",so for him to re-marry s a sin if his former wife is alive.
To me,dt wz a gud decision cz it wz written in the paper dt he wz seen as a role model and to be a pastor,it goes with alot of responsibility.dts my view
Where did God give the rule "thou shall not marry more than one wife"? The bible states that a minister (pastor, preacher, deacon) must be a husband to one wife. King Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines. King David had many wives also. Many others had more than one wives and they were still God's children. Abraham was married to Sarah as well as the servant girl haggai (you may refer to her as concubine too). God blessed Abraham's seed with Sarah and blessed Haggai seed with Abraham. They had different blessings, but God still blessed them. If you are going to be a pastor, deacon, etc., you need to be husband to one wife. Divorce is allowed if people break God's laws and commandments. Adultery, unfaithfulness to God. | | | | |
1182
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 25-08-2009 10:27 PM
| Well this issue is simple Jesus was clear on this topic where he says at mat 19:9 that only on d ground of fornication/adultery that a man can divorse his wife.adultery in d bible cld be used either spiritually whick is d worshiping of other gods or physicaly which is when a mate hav segxwal intercourse wit som1 nt his mate.when this happens a man is free 2 remarry.so its on d ground on adultery nd death dat a mate can remarry.
You understand the bible very much. I am so much in shock to see how some just make up their own stories without lining up their argument with the bible. Thanks. | | | | |
1183
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 24-08-2009 11:58 PM
| Hi guys, as a single mother I also feel that it is not right to stigmatize single mothers. Well, in my country people are viewing it differently nowadays because there are so many single parents in South Africa (having children out of wedlock). The best way to look at it is to see how it happened for one to be in that kinda situation.
I fell in love with an Igbo man in 2005 and when I fell pregant he told me how he had a wife back home and I should have an abortion, this I refused. Had a beautiful baby girl and she's now 3 years old and her father has never contributed towards her wellbeing. I am facing all the responsibilities by myself. I was hopelessly in love with the man to an extent that I did not think of any complications when my child was conceived. At the time of my pregnancy some relatives did say how stupid I was and all that but at least my family was very supportive.
I don't regret having my daughter she brings me all the joy in world and its just unfortunate that she doesn't know her roots. to all single mothers just stay positive and don't think of people who stigmatize us because it will only hurt our feelings and stop us from moving forward.
Good luck with your baby. | | | | |
1184
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 24-08-2009 11:44 PM
| well,well,well,is isnt a good news here.But i will advise the pastor not toleave the church to open his own church.Let him ask GOD for direction concerning the matter at hand.
Look at it this way,the supposed wife,ask him to step down as a pastor cos it is a politics sort of.is it that kind of a woman dat will take away her husband from the side of God and they still ask the husband to look upon God for her return.T
o me,the pastor has tried to stay for dat long.He should go ahead and remarry so dat he be burning in passion.Hes not wrong to remarry.RCCG is not God.Only God can judge.
Amen. | | | | |
1185
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 24-08-2009 11:43 PM
| In the beginning it was not so, the bible does not encourage divorce, nevertheless to aviod fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman her own husband. 1cor.7:2.We are not judge God weighs action but we mortals weighs physical things, for the lady to be away for 10 years from her home is alarming.
For him to re-marry and the church sending him away, well this is what i dont understand , what if the woman does not want to be reconcile with d husband, should he remain like dat?please do not open doors for the devil. some men of God fall because of fornication with wives, let alone those without wives.God will see you, through this storm. It's a phase dat will roll away'
G
Amen.
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1186
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 24-08-2009 11:42 PM
| another point that we havent beenlooking at is the fact that marriage is a reflection of the covenant between God and the Israelites in the old testament and Jesus and the Church in the New (Eph 5:21-32). No matter how the people sinned, did God abadon them? NO. The marriage vows in their standard form are all embracing and are pronounced without preconditions. Infidelity, unfaithfulness, inpotency, abuse, disease etc, constitute no grounds for divorce. Did not God not say in Malachi 2:16 that "I HATE DIVORCE"?
God hates divorce, but allows it when there is adultery and when an unbeliever leaves the household. | | | | |
1187
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 24-08-2009 11:41 PM
| @ Kenyawest.
You seemed real funny. You agree that one shouldnt be judged. But what happens when you condemn me for judging another person? Arent you judging somebody who has judged another person, thereby continuing the trend? Many peopl for lack of moral courage hide under the cloak of "thou shalt not judge" and refuse to take up positions on moral matters that are outrightly evil. I pray never to be one.
What are you talking about? I cannot seem to follow your judgment statements. Where have I judged you? Please clarify? | | | | |
1188
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 24-08-2009 01:01 AM
| Kenyawest, I never said that Nigeria took care of single mothers. Rather, I said that our various cultures had/have ways of handling with single motherhood. Also, I am not thoroughly comfortable with state and/or local government involvement, but I am more comfortable with the local governments than I am with the state government.
Baur72, the stigmatization is aimed more towards the institution of single motherhood and not necessarily the single mothers.
How do you propose that the local government handle single mothers in Nigeria? Where will they get the funding from? | | | | |
1189
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 24-08-2009 12:52 AM
| Judge not dat ye may not be judged. He dat is without sin should cast de first stone, so before anybody tries to remove de speck frm his brother's eyes, has he or she cleared first de one in his or her own eyes. Is it not stated dat de woman left de Pastor on grounds dat he became a man of God, remarried wit kids? She is an agent of darkness who was only tryin to stop de fire of God frm burnin thru de Pastor. If de said pastor was de G O of dat church like Pst Okotie, would any governin council hav told him to leave his duty dat God has sent him to do? Pls search de Bible very well on dis issue before casting asperations on de innocent man of God. Pls let's leave to God wat belongs to God or would you have rather prefered to hear dat de man is sleeping around wit his church members?
Thanks. | | | | |
1190
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 23-08-2009 04:40 PM
| the bible in corinthians 7 says if d unbelieving wants to leave let him leave & a brother or sister is not under bondage in such a case. this supports what d pastor has done as being right as he's free from d previous marriage bond!!! this shows d bible support him.
even logic will too: y sould d wife be married all this yrs & be living her life fully while d pastor burns & risk immorality?
Well done. Thanks. | | | | |
1191
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 23-08-2009 04:32 PM
| christianity.........different churches wit different doctrines.
That happens when man starts misinterpreting the bible and instituting their own rules instead of following the Spirit of God's words. God hates divorce, but allows divorce in the case of divorce (Matthew 19:9 - this is coming straight from Jesus the author and finisher of our faith). | | | | |
1192
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 23-08-2009 04:30 PM
| If he is now committing adultry withot the knowledge of anyone , who is to blame then?
The wife refuse to come backfor the past 10years, some people who is jugding now cannot wait for
1year talk of 10years.
When God know the best.
You are correct. They have not presented to me the reason why this Pastor cannot remarry. His wife has already remarried a long time ago. She refuses to come back. Who committed adultery here? This pastor searched far and wide the scriptures and rested his case on Jesus Christ. We are allowed to get a divorce in the case of adultery (unchastity, unfaithfulness), and that wife obviously commited adultery by marrying another man other than the pastor. The pastor has waited 10 years, way longer than he should have based on the bible. Nobody has the right to condemn what God has has sanctioned already (Mathew 19:9). | | | | |
1193
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 23-08-2009 04:23 PM
| But what the Bible says is that a minister of God must be blameless, husband of one wife. The Bible does not allow one to remarry. Rather it encourages both parties to reconcile. There is nothing like irreconcilable differences.
Citing Malachi 2:13-16, Matthew 19:1-9, I Corinthians 7:10, scriptures from the Bible, he says remarrying is not an option for any Christian but rather reconciliation. He adds that marriage is solemn, as the couple must know what they are going into, and sacred because God made it so, and serious because it is binding for life.
By Oluwatoyin Akinola & Onukwube Ofoelue I think that they may be misinterpreting the Bible a little bit. God hates divorce, but does not disallow it. This topic was brought to Jesus Christ because Moses allowed divorce. Jesus told them that Moses allowed divorce because we were stubborn or they were stubborn. Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery and abuse. The one that has been offended is allowed to forgive should they choose. The Minister of God must be blameless, there is no evidence that this particular minister was to be blamed for his marriage failure. The minister of God is to be husband to one wife. There is no evidence here that this particular minister is married to more than one wife at a time. I remember so many parts in the bible where men put away their wives. I remember King Solomon that built the temple with hundreds of wives and hundreds of concubines. King David had many wives also and Jesus Christ came from the lineage of King David as well as the lineage of prostitutes. God understands. We are not encouraging divorce. Marriage must be held as sacred at all times. Ten years of waiting for his ex-wife was long enough and God understands that as well. The minister should leave the church, join another tolerant church or set up his own. Let the mightier than thou judges in those redeemed churches keep their church. They are not God! I don't see a bad thing in the Pastor remarrying. Since the Bible is for reference purpose; the book of Esther Chpt. 1 Vs 10 - 22. King Xerxes invited his Queen (Queen Vashti) but due to her selfish interest and pride, she refused to honour the invitation [Just like in the case of the said Minister's Wife]. Which made the King's Legal Advisers advised him to take another Queen in chapter 2 of Esther [Which the so called fellow Ministers of his would have advised him since they are using the Bible as point of reference]. In a nutshell, the wife's refusal to come back to him could be a way that God wants to use and uplift him, it is not as if God likes divorce but He removes whatever that would stop him from blessing His faithfuls, afterall God used Esther to kill Haman [Chapter 7 of Esther] in order to save His (God) people from Haman's evil plans, that was why He removed Queen Vashti from the palace and put Esther because Queen Vashti couldn't have carried out His (God) assignment... [This is not blasphemy] I am in your corner. | | | | |
1194
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Forum / Religion / Re: Why RCCG pastors can't remarry |
on: 23-08-2009 04:10 PM
| @ Kenyawest.
You got the whole thing WRONG. When you wrote that Jesus permitted divorce, you must have been referring to Matthew 19:9:"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." We know that Jesus didnt speak English. So in the original Aramaic and Greek versions of the Bible, the Jews had 3 acts that they called ADULTERY. The were 1) Worship of false gods as we have in Hosea 1:2. (2) Unlawful marriages condemned in Leviticus 18. (3) Illicit sex as is commonly understood. The word Jesus used (and which has been wrongly translated Adultery in some Bibles) refers to the marriages in Lev 18. He was saying that you can divorce if you marry but come to discover that it wasnt supposed to be so in the first place. In that case, that case, there was no real marriage, so the two people can go their ways. Its like you unknowingly marrying your cousin, then having to leave her when you discover it. Thats the only time that divorce is permitted. It cant be really called divorce because there was no valid marriage in the first place. Get the point now?
@bemyfriend - you may want to re-read your post and check the bible again. 1. Hosea 1:2 - strictly deals with IDOLATRY and not ADULTERY - worshipping of false gods and unfaithfulness to God. 2. Leviticus 18 - cited by you does not deal with divorce nor marriage but instructions from God regarding having segxwal relations with your blood relatives and the worship of false gods. 3. Matthew 19:9 - cited by you strictly deals with marriage and divorce. :"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." God is not the author of confusion. God gave us rules in the ten commandments that "thou shall not commit adultery". If any man or woman commits adultery in their marriage, the injured party is allowed to get a divorce. The injured party can forgive if they so choose, but if they are not able to forgive, they are allowed a divorce and God understands that. You cannot break God's commandment and not expect the consequences. Adultery is marital unfaithfulness. I do not know why the pastor and his wife divorced, but if it had to deal with adultery since the ex-wife remarried already, I think the Pastor has the right to remarry and waiting for his wife to change her mind for 10 years is long enough. | | | | |
1196
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 23-08-2009 03:38 PM
| Kenyawest, have you missed the multiple areas where I stated that we to take care of those involved in the single motherhood institution? As for involving government, I completely disagree. I believe that government should stay out of it. Nigeria does not need to implicate any kind of social program for single motherhood. In fact, it should not. It will only encourage single motherhood, and we do not want to encourage it. Giving money to single mothers just because they are single mothers, and performing services for single mothers (at federal expense) just because they are single mothers, is nothing less than mass encouragement of an institution we highly disapprove of. Simply put, the government does not have to be involved.
Please elaborate how Nigeria currently takes care of single mothers. For those single mothers that fall through the crack, what are you proposing for them and their children? Will you be comfortable if the State government got involved? Will you be comfortable if the local government got involved? | | | | |
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 22-08-2009 03:25 PM
| @ anonymous ...Well circumstances just don't happen they are created.I know abortion techniques have been improved relatively in Nigeria but the idea is frowned upon by almost every religious group.
Abortion is something a woman never forgets. Any alternative that could be offered for an unwanted pregnancy instead of abortion is highly recommended. Abortion destroys a nation. | | | | |
1198
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 22-08-2009 03:23 PM
| there is nothing wrong being a single mother. Only ignorant people always stigmatize single mothers as low lifes. No condition is permanent. i know some married women who do not want to associate with single mothers. They are just ignorant because they dont know what their husbands are doing out there with other women.
i am a single mother of 3 children and i am very proud to be a single mother. I dont care what people say about single mothers but i know we single mothers rocks. These days no marriage is secure. most African men cheat all the time so it's better to be a single mother than to die of heart attack from a cheating and deceitful husband.
It is only a fool that will stigmatize single mothers because if you look at the world today, most successful women are all single mothers and i am very proud to be one of them.
Congratulations on being able to put it all together with your career and three children. Remember that cheating is global and is not only by African men. You are also allowed to forgive if you can find it in your heart. Children need the two parents if at all possible. Not living with the spouse is fine, but encouraging the absent parent to still have a role in the life of the children is extremely important. Boy children need their father and when that is not provided, they are the ones that are the most angry. Girl children tend to forgive the absent father much quicker. Regardless of what the single parent can provide for the children, money, programs, etc., so long as the absent parent is still alive and not visiting, there is always something missing for the children. Both parents should put aside their differences and do what is best for the children. Fathers support your children financially regardless of whether you are still with their mothers or not. Fathers support your children regardless of whether the woman has the money or not to support them. Fathers make attempts to see your children on a regular basis even during marriage breakdowns. Good luck. | | | | |
1199
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 22-08-2009 03:07 PM
| Kenyawest, condoning, and approval will only further encourage the institution of single motherhood as a norm. I've stated, and I maintain, that our respective cultures do not accommodate that institution [single motherhood] as an acceptable practice/norm, but we do realize that it happens, and we do take care of the people involved. We know, and understand, that single mothers are here to stay, and we've been culturally well adjusted to those facts for a long, long while now. That still does not mean that we approve of it.
[/quote] @NenyeN - what exactly does the society gain from stigmatizing a single mother? What difference does it make whether society approves or does not approve? Will it change the fact? Will it change the mistake? Will it change a stubborn teenager that wishes to bloom before their time? Proper sex education from the society is far important than the stimatization. If the society was building institutions for innocent children and providing programs, I can understand. In North America, the society does not like single motherhood, but at no time will those women and children be ignored and not given support. This is what is lacking in Nigeria. Things are too often left for the families to manage by themselves whether they are financially able or not. Government needs to get involved for social and humanitarian reasons. After you spank a child or condemn a child for wrong doings, you do not proceed to kill the child. Nigeria needs to implement social programs for the sake of innocent children involved. There needs to be skills training program for the single mother also in order to help her to give herself and her children a better future. | | | | |
1200
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Single mothers should not be sigmatized in the society |
on: 22-08-2009 02:52 PM
| I believe the issue of education and proper enlightenment as a means of cutting down stigamtization or more or less discrimination of women in general should start the women folk at least having to some form of education.Most parents do not give their kids proper sex education and most gurls/women reduce themselves by a lot of amoral attitudes.The harassment of women folk is way beyond the bounds of reason especially in Nigeria.
Ditto. Thanks | | | | |
