Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms Sex with a prostitue = wh*regasms Sex with a storyteller = Loregasms Sex with an accountant = Boregasms Sex while sleeping = Snoregasms Sex while broke = Poorgasms Sex with a lion = Roargasms Sex for hours and hours on end = Soregasm Sex with a nymphomaniac = Ready for Moregasms Sex in a gold mine = Oregasms Sex with a bullfighter = Toreadorgasms Sex with a masked man carrying a sword = Zorogasms Sex on the beach = Shoregasms Sex in Asia = Singaporegasms Sex in the vicinity of garbage can = odorgasms Sex in an adult theater = Hardcoregasms Sex with conquering Spaniards = Conquistadorgasms Sex with someone not paying attention = Ignorgasms Sex with a competitive partner = scoregasms Sex with a beloved partner = Adoregasms Sex while sightseeing = Tourgasms Sex during an earthquake = Tremorgasms Sex while hopelessly drunk on shooters = Liquorgasms Sex with a possessive partner = Yourgasms Sex with three of your friends = Fourgasm Sex when resistance is futile = Borggasms Sex without a climax = Nogasms
1. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy 2. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman 3. If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? 4. If high heels were so wonderful like men say, they would still be wearing ‘em
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."
1) Teacher asks a girl, "What comes after 69?" Girl replies, "You will have 2 rinse out your mouth and wash off your face!"
3) Prostitute: no hair grows on my honeypot...
-->Doc: did you ever see grass grow on a busy high way?
3) A man goes hunting with a bunch of his friends on His land!! They have been hunting a while and his best friend says"hey I can see in your bedroom with my scope". He says " who's that man in the bedroom with your wife? The husband says "what? r u joking? The friend replies,"no honestly. I can see them!! The husband says "Fine shoot her in the head and him in the private!! The friend replies"I CAN GET THAT IN ONE SHOT!!!!!!!!
4) There are two brothers, sharing a bunk bed
Big brother says, "me and my girl friend are makin sandwiches". The little brother hears the girlfriend laughing
Little brother says, "stop u r pouring mayonnaise in my mouth".
5)A blind man walks into a dinner and sits down at a booth. The Waiter walks up to his table.
"What can I get you today?" says the Waiter.
"I have a kind of strange request." says the blind man.
"What’s that?" says the Waiter.
"Can I have the unwashed fork of the person you waited on before me?" says the blind man.
The waiter thinks for a minute.
"Um ok" says the waiter.
The Waiter brings the blind man the fork and the blind man slips it into his mouth. He sucks on it for a short time.
"The meat loaf and mash potatoes are delicious I’ll have that" says the blind man.
The waiter is grossed out but also impressed he was right about the dish. The blind man eats tips very well and leaves. The blind man comes back the next two days in a row with the same request and both times he was correct about the dish of the person before him. The next day when he arrives the Waiter notices him walking in.
"Jenny, Jenny" the Waiter says flagging down a Waitress he works with.
"This time I wanna have some fun with this fun. Here put this into your panties." He says as he hands Jenny a fork. Jenny giggles and does as he asked. He walks but to the table with the fork in hand ready for the blind mans daily request. The blind man as always asks for the fork of the person waited on before him. The Waiter hands him the fork fighting his laughter. The blind man pops in into his mouth.
"hmmmmm." says the blind man sucking the fork for a short time
"I had no idea Jenny works here!"
6) A construction worker is working on the 3rd floor of a building under construction. He turns to grab the saw and notices it’s gone. After searching a while he notices the saw on the first floor on a table. There is another worker close by on the 1st floor standing around.
The man on the 3rd floor yells "Hey can you bring me the saw?!"
The man on the 1st floor places his hand by his head to listen closer.
The man on the 3rd yells "The saw!"
The man on the first floor shakes his head.
The man on the 3rd floor starts to signal "I need" and he points at his knee. "The hand saw" and he moves his arm back in forth in a sawing motion.
The man on the 1st floor quickly wips down his pants and begins masturbating.
The man on the 3rd floor is shocked! He runs all the way down the stairs to the first floor.
"What the hell are you doing?! I said I need the hand saw!"
"I know I was just trying to tell you I’m cumming."
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