who cares about stretch marks? its either they were big and got small, or they were small and got big..either way we phyuking

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were three finalists: An American man,an English man and a Jamaican man.

For the final test, the CIA agents took the American man to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The American said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife" The Agent replies," Then you're not the right man for this job."

The English man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the English man came out with tears in his eyes "I tried blokes, but I can't kill my wife," The Agent replies, "You don't have what it takes, take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the Jamaican's turn, he took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. Then they heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Jamaican. He wiped the sweat from his brow and said

"Unnuh neva tell mi di bloodclaat gun was loaded wid blanks!!", " A beat mi haffi beat har bloodclaat to death wid di rass chair!!"

The Jamaican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: Now Marie, why you feel you deserve a pay increase?
Marie: Well, ma'am, three reasons why I want de increase.

The first one, mi iron better than you!
Wife: Who said you iron better than me?
Marie: Your husband says so.
Wife: Oh.

Marie: The second reason........ah cooks better than you.
Wife: Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?
Marie: Your husband again
Wife: Oh.

Marie: My last reason is that I am a better lover than you.
Wife: (really furious now): My husband says that as well??
Marie: No ma'am, the Gardener.

Wife: How much yuh seh you want again?

very impressive..he's really done our nation proud..

 ur friend has got to be the sickest person on this planet.He culd've waited till she gave birth, and maybe four months afterwards, Jeez!!! :'( so sad, so, so sad...........

Well if ur friend got her pregnant, then good luck to them. But if ur guy's having sex with someone else's baby-mama, then thats probably the worst sin anyone could commit, i'm sure its worse than actually sleeping with someone else's wife, cos he actually contributes his own semen, to the one there already, i'm sure the baby'll have his face, and the original father's body frame. sick, i tell u .

thats bcos most naija girls like being lied to. they dont want the truth. I'm sure most of them wuld want to deceive themselves, so guys take advantage of the fact that they love to deceive themselves, and first of all come under the cover of being friends, when at the end, there's just one motive, to be lovers!!! They know naija chicks for what they are, never want to be real with themselves, i mean, what kind of friendship culd possibly exist between the opposite sex, who're not related? most of em always end up either shaggin themselves, or desroyin the so-called friendship, cos the chick failed to succumb to their desires. i think guys should just be up-front, and tell the chick what u want, its either she wants it, or not, and if the latter's the case, move on. I'm sure there's loads of ladies out there, that want what u want.

Sex right after a fight or break up is the sweetest and most passionate sex a couple could ever have. try it and see. fight with ur girl, break up with her or something, and then make up right after, u'll notice that she'll pay more attention, and arrange u with so much passion, as u've never witnessed before.

Too much sex? Is there such a thing?

My guy, try working out, resting a bit, eat good food, and most important, find out her G-spot, that part of her body u touch, lick or suck that makes her wriggle and shake. Foreplay is the key, if u can lick and suck and kiss her all over her body until she comes, then u wont need to do much "hammering", she'll be the one to beg u to stop, by the time she don dry, wet, dry, wet, again and again, nobody go tell her. If u like just put prick, dey hammer, na die u go die. make her cum thru foreplay, before u even put ur prick, thats the key.

how the pic dey do una self???

My brother, there's really nothing wrong with that, if u love her, that is.... just bcos a woman has given birth to a child, doesnt make her worse off, than even those who're virgins, its what u guys share together that counts, trust me.

how we go do na? no be till we enter action we go know who dey make mouth? until then, na mouth we all dey make na............

ur own problem is for the guy to talk for hours on the phone with U??? ur own good o..........

honey, i would have to do a practical thing. hook up for a one-on-one session?

If my chick is a nympho, can never have enough of sex, then there has to be ways of making her have multiple orgasms, before even the sex proper, some wicked foreplay should do the trick.

Its only human for peeps to criticize what goes against their own personal preferences. But while we're at it, we should all remember that in this life, its "Different strokes for different folks". Cigarettes? poison. But the fact that i dont smoke em, doesnt mean i should criticize those that do, as long as they can take care of themselves, and live with the side-effects, its all good.

Now for weed? Pls ppl, criticize what u know....... I know folks, old enough to last a century, been smoking that shit, healthier than most folks who neither drink nor smoke, nor have sex.
That shit is medication, ppl.

Now back to the subject matter- women smoking cigarettes.........

There's nothing wrong with women smoking, really, its their prerogative.....

well said shukpo........

Q: What's the similarity between women and Kentucky Fried Chicken?

A: Once you're done with the Bosom  and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

Aint nothing wrong with a brother going into the kitchen to whip up a meal. Heck i'd even serve my wife breakfast in bed, depends on how u see ur wife - ur queen, or ur slave. Doesn't mean the wife should take it as a norm, like "honey d'u think u culd handle breakfast, while i do my nails?"..........