Next time add maggi nd salt to spice it up.. mak i flash one teeth  

my chairman,i jst dey ... Come drink Nunu.

ferty.... dis one na vex rape, u made me laf bro..lollllllz

;D

Handiwork of fra de Nunu!

help me tell ram ooo!

jossy...i was banned ooh! But dey hv uplifted it. Hw are u my boi?

seems what?? if u hear gbosa for ua cheek eee!!

   

 Teacher.... Skypon, What is a baby cow called?

 skypon... Calf.
Teacher... Corrrrrrect!

Teacher... You stephen, What is a baby sheep called?

Stephen... Its called Lamb.
Teacher... Correcccct!


Teacher... Now what is baby lizard called?

jossy...sir its called lizzy baby.  [font=][/font]

Bwuahaahahahahahaaaaaa. 

Buaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. ziego,if we catch dat our teacher ee! She go hear am!

I was coming home yesterday evening after a hectic day and found a small bag on the ground.I opened it and behold what i found inside, $20,000 dollars.fear catch me first but i took the bag home and when i emptied it,i found some documents,ID card,ATM card and an iphone. I thought about throwing the sim away and keep the phone and also dispose the documents and keep the money.After a long thought,i decided to leave things as they were hoping that the caller would call.

      Not long after,a call came through on the iphone,i picked and talked with the caller.Apparently,it was the owner bcos he named every content that was inside the bag.we met afterwards and i handed him the bag.He offered me $2,000 dollars but i turned it down.He collected my number and i left.
     
    Yesterday,he called me and offered me a job at chevron oil company worth 750,000 naira per month,a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished and 2012 BMW X6.As i was smiling and testing the car,my brother jst slapped and said "Oya Oya Oya wake up,Eba don ready"

I was coming home yesterday evening after a hectic day and founf a small bag on the ground.I opened it and behold what i found inside, $20,000 dollars.fear catch me first but i took the bag home and when i emptied it,i found some documents,ID card,ATM card and an iphone. I thought about throwing the sim away and keep the phone and also dispose the documents and keep the money.After a long thought,i decided to leave things as they were hoping that the caller would call.

      Not long after,a call came through on the iphone,i picked and talked with the caller.Apparently,it was the owner bcos he named every content that was inside the bag.we met afterwards and i handed him the bag.He offered me $2,000 dollars but i turned it down.He collected my number and i left.
     
    Yesterday,he called me and offered me a job at chevron oil company worth 750,000 naira per month,a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished and 2012 BMW X6.As i was smiling and testing the car,my brother jst slapped and said "Oya Oya Oya wake up,Eba don ready"

A man went into a museum and mistakenly broken a status.
   The museum keeper said to him " this is seven hundred years status you have just broken"
    The man answered "gosh!! Thank God it's not a New one".

A sex robot was designed to satisfy women..
It was tasted wit 3 women..
  The 1st was a Hausa woman,after one hour wit the robot,she came out, smiled and said "GASKIYA, E SWEET ME DIE"

The 2nd woman was a Yoruba woman,after 3hours wit de robot,she came out smiled and said "oOOOO SHEY, WALAI!!!, ROBOT U MAKE SENCE DIE"

The 3rd was a Calabar woman,after 14hrs wit the robot,the woman was not still out.so,the security men were worried,they were thinking the robot might hv killed the woman.so,dey decided to check only for them to open the door and see the calaber woman chasing the robot up and down sayin "COME HERE U LIAR,UR BATTERY NEVA LOW oOO!" IF UR BATTERY DON LOW,HOW COME U MANAGE DEY RUN!! 

Teacher... Who will pronounce these figures 999 in words? (pointing at skypon)
.. Sir, its Nine hundred and ninty nine!
Teacher... Wow! A round of applaud.
 
Teaher again.. Who will try nd pronunce these figures 777 in words?  (Pointing at Terry)
Terry.... Sir,it's Seven hundred and seventy seven!
 Teacher.. Wow! U guys are awesome.an applaud 4 terry.
 
finally,who wil pronounce these figures 111 in words for us?
 Yeye stephen... i sirrrrrr!!  It's Onety ,onety one!! 

it seems no1 likes this my story.... :'(

      One day,A man saw a lady stranded on d side of the road,even in d dim light,he could see she needed help.so he pulled up in front of her mercedes benz and got out.Eevn with the smile on his face,she was worried.No one had stopped to help her out for the last hour or so.Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe,he looked poor and hungry.He could see dat she was frightened,standing out their in cold.He knew how she felt.He said "i'm here to help u madam" Why don't u wait in the car were its warm,by the way my name is Lucas moore."
       Well,all she had was flat tire,but for an old lady that was bad enough.lucas crawled under d car looking for a place to put the jack and it was raining heavly.Soon he was through with the tire but he was so dirty and his hands hurts.
    As he was tightening up the lug nuts,she rolled down the window and began to talk to him.she told him dat she was from St louis and just passing through.she couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Lucas jst smiled and closed her trunk.The lady asked how much she owes him,any amount would have been enough with her.Lucas never thought twice about being paid.This was not a job to him.This was helping sum1 in need and God knows there were plenty ,who had given him hand in past.He had lived his whole life that way and it never occoured to him to act any other way.He told her if she really wanted to pay him back,Next time she saw som1 who needed help,she could give the person d assistant they needed and he added,"Think of me".
 He waited until the old lady started her car and drove off.This had been a cold and depressing day but he felt good as he headed 4 home.
       
      A few miles away,the lady saw a small cafeteria,she went in to grab a bite to eat and sum drinks b4 she will made d last leg of her trip to home.it was a dirty looking restaurant,d whole scene was unfamiliar to her.The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe off her wet hair,she had a sweet smile.The lady noticed that the waitress was eight months pregnant,but she never let d strain and ashes change her attitude.The old lady wondered how sum1 who had a little could be given to a stranger,Then she remembered Lucas.
     After the lady finished her meal,she paid with #1000. The waitress quickly went to get balance for her #1000 but d lady had slipped out through the right door.she had gone b4 the lady culd come back.The waitress wondered were the lady culd be,then she noticed sumtin written on napkin.There were tears on her eyes as she read what the lady wrote "You don't owe me anything,i have been there too.Sumbody once helped me the way i'm helping you,if u really wants to pay me back, here is wat you will do. Do not let the chain of love ends with you, "under the napkin were Two hundered thousand naira (#200,000)         
      Well,there were many tables to clean,plates to wash,people to serve,but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed,she was thinking about the money and what the lady has written.
How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed the money? With the baby due next month,it was going to be hard ...
 She knew how worried her husband was and as he lay sleeping next to her,she gave him a soft kiss and said "Everything is going to be all right,i love you, Lucas Moore"     
     

This is an old sayin "what goes around,comes back around"     ...i'm bk again.....vos desidero!!..... slainte!!

Student.... Sir,Happy new year.

Lecturer...wat is gud abt dis year?

Student..at least we made it to new year.

Lecturer..but Gudluck is tryin 2 make us prefer last yr dan new year.

Student..Ok sir,but dats not wat i'm here 4.

Lecturer.. Wat r u here 4?

Student...plz sir,i dont like my performance in ua coarse,it's too poor!!

Lecturer...well,it appears dat ua not serious in ua studies.

Student...sir,i will appreciate if u will help me upgrade it 2 "A"

Lecturer...no problem,but can u afford d price 4 "A"?

Student...Anytin sir.

Lecturer...it will cost u 25liters of fuel.

Student...suooh! Dats 2much sir,plz come down a little bit.

Lecturer....ok,hw many liters can u afford?

Student... 5liters sir.

Lecturer...e be lyk say ua not serious 4 A abi? Now leave my office,wen ua ready,come bk wit 20 or 18liters minimum.

Student... Sir..sir.. Sir..plzz i will..

Lecturer.. I've spoken,any other tin u want 2 say,locate d press and tell it 2 jonathan!