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121
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / drunkard |
on: 11-12-2015 11:38 PM
| | A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking.
He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is
extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want
to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-
toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over
backwards and lands flat on his rear end.
.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple
of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke,
and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he
was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.
.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood,
so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough,
his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired
the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and
he went to bed.
.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was
hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to
think up some good story, when his wife came into the
bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said.
"Where'd you go?"
.
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of
beers."
.
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got
plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
.
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
.
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this
morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the
mirror." | | | | |
122
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / funny Joke |
on: 11-12-2015 11:35 PM
| |
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and
asks if he could buy him a drink.
.
"Yes of course", comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
.
"I'm from Nigeria", replies the second man.
.
The first man responds: "Wow! I'm from Nigeria too! Let's
have another round to Nigeria."
.
"Of Course", replies the second man.
.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Nigeria are you
from?"
"Lagos", comes the reply.
"I can't believe it", says the first man. "I'm from Lagos too!
Let's have another drink to Lagos."
"Of course", replies the second man.
.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school
did you go to?"
"Kings College", replies the second man. "I graduated in
'62."
"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Kings
College and graduated in '62, too!"
.
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down
at the bar.
.
"What's been going on?", he asks the bartender "Nothing
much," replies the bartender. "Those Ajegunle twins are
drunk again."
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135
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: igbo man |
on: 10-12-2015 04:56 PM
| dey there na... the sender no know say even juju no dey work for money side again...
these no be the days wey person go pick money for ground turn chicken
lol | | | | |
137
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: lol.. |
on: 10-12-2015 04:54 PM
| I don see something for hia....
my fingers don dey scratch me sef.... last time wey my fingers scratch me i lock person up, swallow key
what you see..? | | | | |
139
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / politicians.... |
on: 9-12-2015 01:16 PM
| | A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his
farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what
happened.
.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of
them.
One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they
were all dead"?
.
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive".
But I couldn't believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie | | | | |
140
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / American visitor... |
on: 6-12-2015 09:59 PM
| |
An American was visiting Nigeria
for the first time,
so he boarded a taxi from the
airport to his hotel, Akpos
happened to
be the taxi driver, on
the way the American saw a
beautiful building and
asked the driver, "how long did it
take to build such
beautiful building", the driver was
proud of his
country and said 6years, the
American replied "nonsense, in
my country it will take 6 months
to
build same building".They passed
by another huge
building, the american asked
again, "how many years
did it take to build the house", the driver replied "2
years", to his shock again the
american said,
"rubbish, it takes just 2 months
to build same building in my
country".They finally passed the
National
Stadium, and the american was
amazed, he asked
how long did it take to build such
magnificent
structure, Akpos just looked at
him and said "Oga,
I don't know o! coz when I
passed here this morning,
the building wasnt there".... happy sundae!
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