In Today’s society, Marriage is an important issue and is something we all look forward to. By age 26, an average Nigerian as witnessed more than ten marriage ceremonies. It does not help also that society has a standard when it comes to what age a person should marry. In this opinion write up, our featured writer, Damola Aji delves into the reason why people.
category A: PEER PRESSURE MARRIAGEI’m almost in my final year in the higher institution ( or even a graduate ), my next line of action is to find a man and settle down with and all my worries will become his and then I will be free.
An extension to the above category are the ones that go into marriage simply because their friends got married immediately after graduation, and thus, she equally has to get married. Unfortunately, this has turned to a natural norm.
Category B: AGE-TARGER MARRIAGE SEEKERSThese ones give themselves a target to get married ( come what may ) at a certain age, and so, any man that comes their way within that set period is almost always pushed to the wall to make some form of commitment or they will take a walk……well, the very desperate ones go spiritual, more like traditional #feelme ?
Those that decide to take a walk, often say to themselves, “I don’t have time for extensive courtship, I just want to get married”. OK! One question for you please……………After the wedding and you are declared married, WHAT NEXT?
Category C: CLUELESS MARRIAGE SEEKERSThese set don’t really have a clue as to why they want to get married or why they are even married……….YES O! They simply go back to their former ways of life, that is, life goes on as it used to be. The most appalling are the wayward ones, they simply continue in their waywardness, at least they are now married and can flaunt their ‘gold ring’ in people’s faces, plus….their jumping from bed to bed skills freely giving to any man that’s appealing to them, be it he is single or married.
Question: Why get married and incur the wrath for defiling the marital vows you took? You can stay single and freelance all you want.#Easy
Category D: THE COMPETITORThe Independent woman………….hmmm!
She is ambitious, goal oriented, in most cases comes tops in whatever she sets her mind to do, yep we can rightfully say she is focused and would definitely make a wonderful wife…………….But ?
All her life, she sees everything as being a competition, that’s right, life to her is a competition and only the strongest or willed deserves to have it all……martially speaking, she’s too busy getting things done, acquiring one certificate of the other, overcoming one feat or the other and too busy to even give a thought to settling down……….an extremist one would say, but when it comes to the issue of settling down, her take is…”I don’t think I want to throw away all that I have worked so hard for, just so a man will lord over me, sorry, marriage isn’t for me”….or so it would seem. Oh Well, such ladies almost always end up getting a young man of high stock, worthy of their high prestige to impregnate her, just so she can conceive, have a kid or two, with no connection whatsoever to the man. The kids bear her name, they don’t have a father……………….she probably paid him off, or he is ignorant of the kid(s)’ existence.
Category E: THE FANTASIST These ones love weddings, they have been to lots, and thus have formed an opinion about how theirs should be….elegant and a funfair of some sort, their drive is the one day of brouhaha, so the world can see that they did an elaborate wedding, with lots of frenzy and media coverage, that the entire world will get to see, read about and be green with envy, well, especially their friends and some family members. Afterwards, reality sets in and issues come up, give or take 2 – 3 years, marriage is gone………….hmmmmmm, let’s just call this, ‘Heads in the clouds wedding’.
Category F: THE ARRANGED MARRIAGEParents self interest ‘arranged’ marriage…….Need I say more?
The sole aim for this union, both parents have collective reasons their kids have to marry, could be to strengthen their business relationship, show commitment to their evergreen friendship from childhood and it would be wonderful to keep both families tied forever. Guess we can say the kids have no say in this, they just have to do their parent’s biddings or they lose out of a mouth watering inheritance they would acquire if and only if they do what their parents demand.
At this point, you probably are getting my drift and if not….
Marriages are hinged on different reasons, some we can influence, others we probably don’t have a strong say it, but in it all, ladies, don’t go into marriage with belief that once you are married all your worries and problems becomes your husband’s, NO MA, it doesn’t work that way, the success or not of your marriage depends on you. YES YOU!
The Bible says, “HE that FINDETH a WIFE, FINDETH a GOOD THING, and OBTAINS FAVOR from the LORD”.
So what can you see? It isn’t “she that findeth a husband…”
So how do you take charge of your home?
The woman is the HOME MAKER, and what do we refer to as the home, it isn’t the structure you dwell in, not your mansion or different apartments, NO MA…..THE HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS!
And if you want your home to be how you desire it to be, you are ‘that good thing’ in the man’s life, his heart will constantly be with you, wherever you may go, coupled with doing the things as ordained by God and keeping the marital vows sacred. You are that blessing in his life, you are that favor the bible talks about, you are his most treasured possession ( not as in property now ),and even Christ pointed out in Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Be the change you want in your marriage, get on your kneels and proclaim good things for your marriage, guard it jealously, for whatever it becomes will be your hand doing, and not the man’s.
Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying he will just sit at home and watch you pray, all I’m saying is, your role as the wife, the crowned ‘good thing’ in the marriage is beyond sitting and waiting for him to do everything, you are that link that brings the difference to whatever he strives to achieve.
Its given, man ( both Male and Female ) is nothing without Christ, no matter how hard he works or labours, the difference is only when God intervenes, so make sure you are in God’s camp too.
So young ladies, I hope your mindsets are straightened as to what role you play in the union, and how you should approach marriage in all its totality, it isn’t just a day ( wedding ), it’s a life time.
HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO SPEND FOREVER WITH YOUR MAN? BE WISE.
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