Adanma

cut your head of (lol)

money

Naira

sunny okosun or Fela?

guess i like BM

a bicycle or tricycle?

go live in the forest alone (atleast you wouldn't see someone that will make you angry

here or there

pretty lolly pop

yeah you can say that!!!!!!

Naija forever

my girlfriend or yours?

you cannot you 3 because in a sentence because, because is a conjunction word! lol!!!!!!!!

ma mii

Nepal

"L"

commit sucide then there will be no more nightmares

eats too much?

hey commmon what kind'f choice is that,
anyway, fried worm

roasted orange or pounded egg?

lol
thats tight.
i guess she is going to sit up now

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still alive,"  Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him  know that he is still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it out and emailed it to  Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA.

No one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA  and the Secret Service, the list got longer and longer.

Eventually they asked Mossad in Israel for help.

Cpt. Moishe Pippick took one look at it and replied:

"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down!"

yeah, funny thing about law
have you ever read the law is an ass?
you can actually sue your neighbour whose banana tree leaves fell into your compound.
but you can't be sued for eating of the banana if it grows to your compund

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled,
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Nigerian  senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. " There is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."


You will spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

He goes down, down, down to hell and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. All his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.


They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

The senator then visits heaven, joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity," says St. Peter

The senator reflects for a minute. "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

He finds himself in the middle of a barren desert covered with waste and garbage, where all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from
above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted."