breed them for ham and bacon. After
several weeks, he notices that none of
the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls
a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer
that he should try artificial
insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest
idea what this means but, not wanting
to display his ignorance, he only asks
the vet how he will know when the
pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him
that when pregnant, they will stop
standing around and will, instead, lay
down and wallow in the mud. The
farmer hangs up and gives it some
thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he
has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck,
drives them out into the woods, has
sex with them all, brings them back
and goes to bed. Next morning, he
wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing
that they are all still standing around,
he concludes that the first try didn't
take, and loads them in the truck again.
He drives them out to the woods,
banged each pig twice for good
measure, brings them back and goes to
bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the
pigs still standing around. One more
try, he tells himself, and proceeds to
load them up and drive them out to
the woods. He spends all day shagging
the pigs, and, upon returning home,
falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he was woken up
by his wife shaking him and saying
"Wake up Dear, the pigs are acting
strangely!". "What do you mean?" he
asked excitedly, "Are they wallowing
in the mud?" "No, " she says, "they're
all in the truck and one of them is
honking the horn."
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