SEX CONTRACT

Date: 16-04-2009 1:09 pm (15 years ago) | Author: 14_Inches
[1] 2
- at 16-04-2009 01:09 PM (15 years ago)
(m)

SEX CONTRACT

I, _______________________, hereby surrender all possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication.

I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for a time of no less than thirty (30) days and nights after said activities have been fulfilled.

I also surrender all rights to propagate rumors, misnomers and dirty looks in the cafeteria from myself and friends, and will treat said co-signer with all the respect due a stranger.

I will say "hi" if we pass within ten (10) meters in a friendly, if not neutral, tone.

I will also upon completion of heretofore listed activities not leave underwear, earrings or other insignificant yet oh-so-valuable knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co-signer's abode for the sole purpose of returning to said abode and breaking the no-contact agreement of this document.

I furthermore state that I am of sound mind and desirable body, and will not call said co-signer by any other name than is his or her own, nor reminisce on some former slime-ball/great lover who wore the same cologne, roll-on, boxer shorts or robe.

I will also pay one-half of all laundry fees as needed after prescribed activity.

Signed,

_____________________________________
Fornicator At Large 

14_Inches_Long

Posted: at 16-04-2009 01:09 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- Sheenor at 16-04-2009 01:16 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
na letter be that?

Posted: at 16-04-2009 01:16 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Sheenor at 16-04-2009 01:17 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
wey tin be this?

Posted: at 16-04-2009 01:17 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Iffy at 16-04-2009 03:31 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
bros this agreement go put you 4 wahala. Lovely one bro
Posted: at 16-04-2009 03:31 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- size1 at 16-04-2009 03:42 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
b ryt back
Posted: at 16-04-2009 03:42 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Recoverd at 18-04-2009 08:08 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
No b small tin ooooh!!!
Posted: at 18-04-2009 08:08 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Recoverd at 18-04-2009 08:08 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
No b small tin ooooh!!!
Posted: at 18-04-2009 08:08 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Gwhy at 18-04-2009 09:15 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
K
0
L
0

Posted: at 18-04-2009 09:15 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Toks-E at 18-04-2009 09:40 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
funny contract

Posted: at 18-04-2009 09:40 PM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- 14_Inches_Long at 20-04-2009 12:34 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
Well,
It is very funny that all pals especially male do not understand this aggreement. If you read veru well you would see that it absolves you from any responsibility of any sort after the action.

All men need this to protect them  against any future would-be-Monical Lewinsky. Let her sign and use the holy water to stamp it but make sure you pay the agreed stamp duty otherwise, yawa go gas at the end of the TO-ME-TO-YOU !!!!

I have your love in mind !!!!

14_Inches_Long
Posted: at 20-04-2009 12:34 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- iphie at 20-04-2009 12:37 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
14inchlong, u no well
Posted: at 20-04-2009 12:37 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- gonzo45 at 21-04-2009 02:33 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
lol ... Grin Dats a superrrrrr Deal contract.
Posted: at 21-04-2009 02:33 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- oparaji at 21-04-2009 05:07 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
my brother na ur dead warrant u just signed.
may ur gentle soul rest in perfect peace.
greet devil over there 4 me.
tell him i will dispiont him.
bye.but u still hv a chance. Roll Eyes Shocked Grin
(one chance 4 u)
Posted: at 21-04-2009 05:07 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- emmymth at 21-04-2009 05:21 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
Nyc one man.Da girls might nt lyk dis bt it is good

Posted: at 21-04-2009 05:21 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Ewalee at 21-04-2009 07:30 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
guy dis is long story, u are on a long thing.
Posted: at 21-04-2009 07:30 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- imoleigwe at 6-05-2009 03:08 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
u try well well :( ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
Posted: at 6-05-2009 03:08 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- emmymth at 6-05-2009 09:07 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
try wat?

Posted: at 6-05-2009 09:07 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- favourtee at 6-05-2009 06:15 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
na only 14 and emmy go like this kind tin, bt still go day do dat tin at after 12..
Posted: at 6-05-2009 06:15 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Emmanuel4christ at 6-05-2009 06:18 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
REALLY HOW U TAKE KNOW ...
Posted: at 6-05-2009 06:18 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- favourtee at 6-05-2009 06:25 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
those boys..lol..
dnt try dem o
Posted: at 6-05-2009 06:25 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
[1] 2

fire TRENDING GISTS fire

TODAY'S TOP
  1. Davido Trolled As His Sidechick Calls Him 2 Minutes Man With Tiny Manhood

  2. VIDEO: Singer, Wizkid Gushes Over Prophet Odumeje, Shares Plan For Him

  3. We Don’t Have a Choice - Indomie Reveals Why Costs Of Its Noodles Was Reduces

  4. Missing 400-Level UniAbuja Student, Murjanatu Zubairu Found Dead

  5. Tunde Ednut Slams Wizkid For Disrespecting Davido And Don Jazzy

  6. Don Jazzy Unfollows Wizkid After He Mocked Him Online

  7. Nigerian Woman Urges Married Women To Stop Wasting Their Prayers On Cheating Husband

  8. 56Yr Old Nigerian Woman Celebrates After Giving Birth To Twins After 26Yrs Of Waiting

  9. 15Yr Old Secondary School Student, Ebube Offo Commits Suicide Over Expulsion In Enugu

  10. Fans Dig Out Evidence To Prove Wizkid’s Claim About Don Jazzy Being An Influencer

  11. Nigerian Court Orders Police To Pay N300M Fine For Killing 3 Shiite Members In Zaria

  12. Keep Watching Over Me - Actress Nancy Isime Sends Message To Late Mother Who Died 28Yrs Ago

  13. Actor, Adeniyi Johnson Shares Epic Throwback Photo With Wife, Seyi Edun On Movie Set

  14. Edo Governor Obaseki Announces N70, 000 New Minimum Wage For Civil Servants


THIS WEEK
  1. Benin Kingdom Suspends Five Functionaries For ‘Unauthorised’ Visit To Ooni Of Ife

  2. Nigerian Tenant Discovers Landlord With Wife & Daughter, Sparks Outrage Online (Video)

  3. Lady Who Worked As A Maid In Saudi Arabia Narrates Her Harrowing Ordeal As Boss Impregnates Her

  4. GWR Holder, Tunde Onakoya's Parents Gifted A House

  5. No More Big 3 In Afrobeat, I'm On Same Level With Wizkid, Davido And Burnaboy - Rema Reveals

  6. Investigation Launched Into Mysterious Death Of VGC Chairman, Gihan Mbelu In Lagos

  7. Drama As Actress, Toyin Abraham Ajeyemi Clashes With Area Boys On Movie Set (Video)

  8. VIDEO: Singer, Davido Becomes First to Own The $500,000 2024 Rolls Royce Spectre

  9. Wunmi Ajiboye Reunites With Estranged Husband, Segun Ogungbe, Days After Dragging Him (Video)

  10. "Polygamy Is Allowed In Celestial Church, Our Prophets Can Marry Many Wives" — Oshoffa's Son


TOP MEMBERS: