Governors reject awards
In its first meeting this year, the Nigeria Governors Forum (NGF) gave awards to some of its deserving members. Surprisingly most of the sore winners rejected their awards. Gov. Aliyu Wamakko (Sokoto) who won ‘Thug of the year,’ for his exploits in flogging a PHCN staff who didn’t supply power to his village, rejected the award saying the result was rigged in his favour. He said, “I only flogged one person. What of Rochas Okorocha (Imo) who punched a protocol officer and unleashed his guards on a sitting senator?” Similarly, Gov. Fashola (Lagos) who won the ‘Deafest governor’ award said, “What did I do to deserve that? Just because I didn’t listen to okada riders, LASU students and Lekki residents, doesn’t make me deaf? How about Orji (Abia) who has refused to recall the non-indigenes he sacked or undertake a single tangible development project?” Seriake Dickson (Bayelsa) won the ‘Most critically ill’ category due to his severe case of amnesia. Dickson’s embarrassing amnesia showed itself in 2012 when he awarded Ijaw’s highest national honour posthumously to the late dictator Sani Abacha. Gov. Peter Obi’s (Anambra) high-pitched voice earned him the ‘Most effeminate’ governor award.
Resolutions in high places
A Pinch… spoke to four of Nigeria’s most powerful men, to find out their New Year resolutions. Here’s what they said.
- Gov. Rotimi Amaechi: “I will buy a new private jet. My old one is almost a year old now. I don’t want stories. These are perilous times for private air travellers.”
- Bola Tinubu: “I just want to try my best not to lie too much this year. That last lie I told about being invited for the Democratic Convention in America really spoilt things for me in 2012.”
- Goodluck Jonathan: “I will read more romance fiction and build capacity because nothing will hinder me from my quest to be the most loved president in the world.”
- David Mark: “My resolution is to deal with that Agriculture Minister in 2013. You know I have always insisted that phones are not for poor people. Now the minister has decided to buy 10million phones for poor farmers. He’s doing it to upset me but I will catch him.”
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