Can you move into a woman's house after marriage? (Page 3)

Date: 02-08-2009 12:08 am (14 years ago) | Author: King Samuel O Dguy
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- onchedu at 3-08-2009 11:07 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: ebonyxxx on  2-08-2009 11:21 AM
HEY ! GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS POST.
I PERSONALLY THINK WE ALL GET IT WRONG!!!
BECAUSE WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS IS THAT "........FOR THIS REASON A MAN, ........AAAAA MANNNNN........
WILL LEAVE HIS MOTHER AND FATHER AND JOIN TO HISSSSSSSSS WIFE AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE"

WHY DO WE TAKE SOME PART OF THE BIBLE LITERARILY AND NOW SCRIPURALIZE THE OTHER?
WHAT GOD SAYS IS THE FINAL.
AND THAT DOESNT MAKE THE MAN TO OVERLOOK HIS RESPONSIBILITY TOO
BECAUSE THE SAME BOOK SAYS A MAN SHOULDDDDDDD PROVIDE FOR HIS HOUSEHOLD

ALL THIS PASTORS DECONS AND ELDERS INCUDING WO-LEADERS AND BISHOPS AND LADY DR EVANGELIST SHOULD READ THEIR BIBLE VERY WELL
NOTHING WRONG WITH IT AND ITS BIBLICAL. BUT IF YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT IS NOT A SIN EITHER.

GEN.2V24 ; MATT.19V5 ; MARK 10V7 ; EPH 5V31

What are U talking about?


@Poster, NO!
Posted: at 3-08-2009 11:07 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- beauty_01 at 3-08-2009 11:50 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
in my country doesnt matter coz she's ur husband
Posted: at 3-08-2009 11:50 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- mazi at 3-08-2009 01:11 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: myragonza on  3-08-2009 08:03 AM
Quote from: dguy on  2-08-2009 12:08 AM
Random interviews were taken on this subject by the vanguard newspaper:

Good, but count me out— Mode 9, Musician
Quote
Sincerely there’s nothing wrong in that, especially if the man in question does not have the financial muscles to live up to his responsibility. In this critical period of economic crisis, it would be advisable for the man or woman to move into the apartment of the party who already has one. If you look at this issue very well, you’ll discover that it’s another way of cutting down on cost. Instead of spending money on agents and their landlords, there’s no law in this country that says the man cannot stay in his wife’s apartment. I don’t see it as any big deal?

In the same way, the woman would naturally move into the man’s house if he’s got all the resources. It’s a two- way thing. It’s either the man has more money and carries the woman along or vice versa. But personally, I’ll not want to do something like that.

Ah! This is Africa…o. Such a thing will probably work out very well in the Western part of the world. In Africa, a man is expected to be a man in all he does. Our people will always frown at such things, so I won’t do it. It’s a personal decision.

At worse, both of us can put our money together to rent an apartment. It will be difficult for me to marry a woman and then move in to live with her.
This is not to say that those African men who indulge in such acts are weak, nor am I laughing at them. But then, I don’t buy the idea for myself.

Remember that it’s also very possible for the woman to rise up tomorrow and use it against the man, women will always be women no matter how much she claims to love you.
Even if she was to be the best woman on earth, you may upset her someday and she may not even know when she’ll remind you that you’re putting up in her house.
Another problem that man will have to face will come from his friends. If he’s my friend, I’ll not mock him about it but most of his friends will definitely abuse him for that. Some will go as far as calling him woman wrapper. And before you know it, he’ll begin to lose his ego.
At last, he too will not be happy with himself. It’s even possible for him to plan leaving the home for the woman when he feels he can’t take it anymore.

This whole calamity is worse when the man in question does not earn much. If he’s wealthy, he wouldn’t mind buying the house from his wife and even if he doesn’t, people will not see anything wrong with the idea.

For the man who decides to go and leave in his wife’s apartment, he should equally be prepared for all this wahala.
If you ask me to advise my friend, brother or sister on this issue, I’ll not stop them from doing what they think is right for them. If my brother thinks it’s right for him to go and live in his wife’s apartment, I’ll let him do it. You know what? People do not really like the truth. So, I’ll encourage them to go ahead with their plans.
And if I have a sister who thinks it’s right for her husband to come and live in her house, I’ll also encourage her to go ahead so that in future, they can’t say I denied them anything.

Don’t tell me that I’m not a good friend…oo because e no good to put mouth for husband and wife matter. I don talk my own finish

It’s okay but — Kalu Ikeagwu, Actor
Quote
There’s nothing wrong with it for  those who can do it. The most important thing is that the parties involved have a mutual agreement. After all, you and I know that husband and wife share responsibilities in most cases, especially when both of them earn good salaries. So it doesn’t matter who moves into whose home.
But I’‘ll prefer my woman to move into my own apartment not because it’s wrong. It’s just a personal opinion.


It will bring disrespect —  Pascal Izuchukwu, Lab analyst
Quote
I’ll never think about it because women have a way of using anything they do for a man against him in the long run. Here in Africa, a man is expected to be the head of the home but when he moves into the woman’s apartment, it simply means that the woman is now in charge of the affair.
Some women will even go as far as using abusive words at you when there’s any misunderstanding. God has made it that the woman is a helpmate and not the sole provider of the home.



Society will frown at it— Tope Oladimeji, Make up artist
Quote
I don’t think it’s a bad idea. But in this country of ours, society will frown at it. Some people will begin to feel that I’m forcing him to marry me. Others may think he doesn’t have the money to cater for his home and I want to influence him with my wealth.
It will be better for me to give him money to rent a new house and everybody will see that he’s the person spending the cash and not me.

It will amaze you to know that most times, those things people say about us have a way of turning around to become a reality. So, don’t give people that space of wagging their tongues on you.



What God has joined together… —  Yinka Davies, Musician
Quote
Have they not become one? Did the Bible not instruct us never to be intruders? For God’s sake, if the man and woman have been joined together in matrimony, then I don’t see the need for any gossip about whether the man is moving into the woman’s house or the woman is moving into the man’s house.

I think what really matters is that we take time to know who we are getting married to, after which if you think both of you are compatible, then ask for God’s favour, simple!
We really need to have a change of heart in this part of the world because our mind set is so polluted that we frown at everything, even those that should not bother us. As for me, there’s nothing wrong with the society but everything is wrong with the people therein. So, we need to correct our mind set.


No big deal —  Adeola Ajayi, Actress
Quote
I don’t think there’s anything wrong  with  that at all, it’s just a society thing. I can allow my man move in with me after wedding if there’s mutual understanding between us. There’s no big deal about whether the guy’s moving into my apartment or I moving into his own.
My ex- boyfriend’s mother had stayed with me in my family house and I never saw it as a difficult tax. No, big deal.


I won’t let that happen— Carol Tacha, Fashion designer
Quote
I’ll not allow such a thing to happen to me-o! And do you know why? People will think I’m the man of the house and even the man may one day use it against me some day.
If you know how most men feel when they are not capable of taking care of their families financially, then you’ll not try something like this. Men always feel inferior about every little thing, especially when their women are more financially buoyant.
One day, he might get irritated and walk out of the marriage and that may mark the end of the marriage. And when this happens, what will I do then?


What are your views on this?


i suggest we get our own house,Dguy.... Cool Cool
sam is running away 4rm marriage like hell...
saw him at a wedding were he was running away 4rm one babe
Posted: at 3-08-2009 01:11 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
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- SAmyrocko at 3-08-2009 01:56 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
kai!!! does he wanna be a rev father ?

Posted: at 3-08-2009 01:56 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- tomsat at 3-08-2009 02:49 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
  EmbarrassedOthers may but I CANT. it lacks moral backing; it revolts against all divine rules and the african cultural norms.  its okay in the western world or for couples with a fully western background or where there is "water-tight" understanding between the couple.  by water-tight, i mean the level of understanding between couples that even their parents/relations/friends cannot influence.
if a man knows he is not mentally and financially matured to cater for a wife as well as steer the ship of the family  then he has no business going into marriage in the first place.  when a man moves into the woman's apartment due to financial handicap, who calls the shots?  men that do that and say it doesnt matter are those that are ready to mortgage, concede or compromise their integrity and authority to the woman.  only very few women would marry a man, accomodate him in her apartment, (run other expenses no matter how minute, to sustain the home) and would still allow the man to maintain his position as the man(head) of the house. 
this would be different if they were already married and somewhere along the line, the man lost his job but to move into a woman's apartment soon after marriage for financial reasons, in my opinion, is a wrong starting! its laying a bad foundation (or precedent if you prefer) for that family except, of course, the man is sure for certainty that within a specified time frame, he is going to either take over the apartment, move his family to a new apartment, or do something to maintain his leadership in the home.
 
Posted: at 3-08-2009 02:49 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- inno2000 at 3-08-2009 03:44 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: dguy on  2-08-2009 12:08 AM
Random interviews were taken on this subject by the vanguard newspaper:
 my brother, compliments. but you see it all depends on the relationship and understanding that they but share.
sometime, some women may fill that cos they pay the rent that the man have nothing to say but truthly the problem that i see here is that of understanding. thats all, nothing is wrong.

inno2000
Good, but count me out— Mode 9, Musician
Quote
Sincerely there’s nothing wrong in that, especially if the man in question does not have the financial muscles to live up to his responsibility. In this critical period of economic crisis, it would be advisable for the man or woman to move into the apartment of the party who already has one. If you look at this issue very well, you’ll discover that it’s another way of cutting down on cost. Instead of spending money on agents and their landlords, there’s no law in this country that says the man cannot stay in his wife’s apartment. I don’t see it as any big deal?

In the same way, the woman would naturally move into the man’s house if he’s got all the resources. It’s a two- way thing. It’s either the man has more money and carries the woman along or vice versa. But personally, I’ll not want to do something like that.

Ah! This is Africa…o. Such a thing will probably work out very well in the Western part of the world. In Africa, a man is expected to be a man in all he does. Our people will always frown at such things, so I won’t do it. It’s a personal decision.

At worse, both of us can put our money together to rent an apartment. It will be difficult for me to marry a woman and then move in to live with her.
This is not to say that those African men who indulge in such acts are weak, nor am I laughing at them. But then, I don’t buy the idea for myself.

Remember that it’s also very possible for the woman to rise up tomorrow and use it against the man, women will always be women no matter how much she claims to love you.
Even if she was to be the best woman on earth, you may upset her someday and she may not even know when she’ll remind you that you’re putting up in her house.
Another problem that man will have to face will come from his friends. If he’s my friend, I’ll not mock him about it but most of his friends will definitely abuse him for that. Some will go as far as calling him woman wrapper. And before you know it, he’ll begin to lose his ego.
At last, he too will not be happy with himself. It’s even possible for him to plan leaving the home for the woman when he feels he can’t take it anymore.

This whole calamity is worse when the man in question does not earn much. If he’s wealthy, he wouldn’t mind buying the house from his wife and even if he doesn’t, people will not see anything wrong with the idea.

For the man who decides to go and leave in his wife’s apartment, he should equally be prepared for all this wahala.
If you ask me to advise my friend, brother or sister on this issue, I’ll not stop them from doing what they think is right for them. If my brother thinks it’s right for him to go and live in his wife’s apartment, I’ll let him do it. You know what? People do not really like the truth. So, I’ll encourage them to go ahead with their plans.
And if I have a sister who thinks it’s right for her husband to come and live in her house, I’ll also encourage her to go ahead so that in future, they can’t say I denied them anything.

Don’t tell me that I’m not a good friend…oo because e no good to put mouth for husband and wife matter. I don talk my own finish

It’s okay but — Kalu Ikeagwu, Actor
Quote
There’s nothing wrong with it for  those who can do it. The most important thing is that the parties involved have a mutual agreement. After all, you and I know that husband and wife share responsibilities in most cases, especially when both of them earn good salaries. So it doesn’t matter who moves into whose home.
But I’‘ll prefer my woman to move into my own apartment not because it’s wrong. It’s just a personal opinion.


It will bring disrespect —  Pascal Izuchukwu, Lab analyst
Quote
I’ll never think about it because women have a way of using anything they do for a man against him in the long run. Here in Africa, a man is expected to be the head of the home but when he moves into the woman’s apartment, it simply means that the woman is now in charge of the affair.
Some women will even go as far as using abusive words at you when there’s any misunderstanding. God has made it that the woman is a helpmate and not the sole provider of the home.



Society will frown at it— Tope Oladimeji, Make up artist
Quote
I don’t think it’s a bad idea. But in this country of ours, society will frown at it. Some people will begin to feel that I’m forcing him to marry me. Others may think he doesn’t have the money to cater for his home and I want to influence him with my wealth.
It will be better for me to give him money to rent a new house and everybody will see that he’s the person spending the cash and not me.

It will amaze you to know that most times, those things people say about us have a way of turning around to become a reality. So, don’t give people that space of wagging their tongues on you.



What God has joined together… —  Yinka Davies, Musician
Quote
Have they not become one? Did the Bible not instruct us never to be intruders? For God’s sake, if the man and woman have been joined together in matrimony, then I don’t see the need for any gossip about whether the man is moving into the woman’s house or the woman is moving into the man’s house.

I think what really matters is that we take time to know who we are getting married to, after which if you think both of you are compatible, then ask for God’s favour, simple!
We really need to have a change of heart in this part of the world because our mind set is so polluted that we frown at everything, even those that should not bother us. As for me, there’s nothing wrong with the society but everything is wrong with the people therein. So, we need to correct our mind set.


No big deal —  Adeola Ajayi, Actress
Quote
I don’t think there’s anything wrong  with  that at all, it’s just a society thing. I can allow my man move in with me after wedding if there’s mutual understanding between us. There’s no big deal about whether the guy’s moving into my apartment or I moving into his own.
My ex- boyfriend’s mother had stayed with me in my family house and I never saw it as a difficult tax. No, big deal.


I won’t let that happen— Carol Tacha, Fashion designer
Quote
I’ll not allow such a thing to happen to me-o! And do you know why? People will think I’m the man of the house and even the man may one day use it against me some day.
If you know how most men feel when they are not capable of taking care of their families financially, then you’ll not try something like this. Men always feel inferior about every little thing, especially when their women are more financially buoyant.
One day, he might get irritated and walk out of the marriage and that may mark the end of the marriage. And when this happens, what will I do then?


What are your views on this?
Posted: at 3-08-2009 03:44 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- nellygold at 3-08-2009 04:48 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
............
Posted: at 3-08-2009 04:48 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- SAmyrocko at 3-08-2009 04:49 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Whattt Huh?Huh?Huh?

Posted: at 3-08-2009 04:49 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- diplomatik at 3-08-2009 04:50 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: mazi on  2-08-2009 01:19 AM
nah nah......summary plz

Posted: at 3-08-2009 04:50 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- maryalice at 3-08-2009 04:53 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Its not idealn the right thing is for a woman to move into her husbands house or the house they have both rented to avoid problems later in the nearest future. Cool
Posted: at 3-08-2009 04:53 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- lonelysnow at 3-08-2009 10:03 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Can u move into ur wife house after marriage?? It  on record that men who move to  their wife apartment dnt have lasting marriage.
Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:03 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- onyin at 3-08-2009 10:05 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Hmmmmmmmmm where are the guys?
Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:05 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- lonelysnow at 3-08-2009 10:06 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
to me that wan na see finish. i will never do that.
Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:06 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- onyin at 3-08-2009 10:15 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: lonelysnow on  3-08-2009 10:06 PM
to me that wan na see finish. i will never do that.
wat if you cant afford a place?
Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:15 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- lonelysnow at 3-08-2009 10:21 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
if i cant afford a place, i will not marry her.
Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:21 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- erikaakpan at 3-08-2009 10:24 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
lonelysnow, d guy has already posted this a few days ago....

Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:24 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- erikaakpan at 3-08-2009 10:30 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: erikaakpan on  3-08-2009 10:24 PM
lonelysnow, d guy has already posted this a few days ago....

hahaha no mind me o! i was misreading......

Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:30 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- chrisychuks at 3-08-2009 10:59 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Have they not become one? Did the Bible not instruct us never to be intruders? For God’s sake, if the man and woman have been joined together in matrimony, then I don’t see the need for any gossip about whether the man is moving into the woman’s house or the woman is moving into the man’s house.

I think what really matters is that we take time to know who we are getting married to, after which if you think both of you are compatible, then ask for God’s favour, simple!
We really need to have a change of heart in this part of the world because our mind set is so polluted that we frown at everything, even those that should not bother us. As for me, there’s nothing wrong with the society but everything is wrong with the people therein. So, we need to correct our mind set.


I think this person has set this issue of a thing free from fools to uderstand that what matters in this society is love not if you're man enough or not.It was very clearly to us that love bears all sins and forgive and forget for christ sake,when will Africa be free from blindness?



I Daniel is here by to let every ngerians be you whatever thats concern in this site that the bigest problem facing our community today is lack of love and heart to forgive and forget.This is what makes nigeria remains  poor till any day they will know how to forgive and know that nigeria is just only but one nation be you whatever tribe.



Nigeria is not own by igbo,ahausa or yuroba but entire nigerians and should not have any seperate issues like this.Please,we are one.dont mind our stupid leaders whom we all voted for good but they are paying us back with evil.But i think,they will not go unpunished.
Posted: at 3-08-2009 10:59 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
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- ceejay58 at 3-08-2009 11:22 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: mazi on  2-08-2009 01:19 AM
nah nah......summary plz

ehn?  when smoke no let old man see road again na.... Grin
Posted: at 3-08-2009 11:22 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- brightossy at 3-08-2009 11:25 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
I nid summary 4 ds last one
Posted: at 3-08-2009 11:25 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
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