The Oturus
Nikki Laoye-Oturu is a gospel artiste. Married to Alexander, they talk about their two-year-old union How long have you been married?
Alexander: We got married in 2011. Can you recollect the first time you met?
Alexander: She attended the same school, University of Ibadan, with my elder brother. By virtue of that, we met many times and this was long before we started dating.
We hooked up again in 2010 and we realised we liked each other. We hit it off from there and started dating.
How did you react when he made his intentions known?
Nikki:The truth is that we had actually been friends over the years and the fact that his brother was a close friend- we used to sing together in school- made things easier.
He seemed like someone I had known all the while. It made it easier for us to spend time together and realise we had a lot in common.
The fact that we both love music, we both love to laugh and play video games. We saw all of that and we thought it would be nice to take things a step further.What qualities got you attracted to each other?
Nikki: I am a sucker for cute boys and of course, he is light-skinned. I have always said I want my children to be light-skinned.
He has a sense of humour in addition to the fact that he has a certain mindset I like. In as much as we are Nigerians, we have this western approach to how to live life or express oneself.
He always looks out for me and likes to ensure I am comfortable. He is my best friend.
Alexander:She is a nice person and she knows how to love me.
When we started dating, she took interest in my professional life. I found that to be very deep and nice because these days, you don’t get women who are interested in what their boyfriends or husbands do.
What is your occupation?
Alexander: I am a geographic information systems analyst and a singer.
Your courtship was long-distance… Nikki: He was in Abuja and I was in Lagos. We used to talk almost every hour and we did this nonstop.
We would utilise the cheapest call tariff on any of the networks and I remember that we had SIM cards for all the networks.
How long did you date before he popped the question?
Alexander:We dated for about 10 months or slightly less than that. How did he do it?
Nikki: I had two performances on that day and I was confused on how to pull both off without any complications.
One was in Victoria Island and the other one was at Ikeja. While deciding which to attend first, we agreed to go and have lunch somewhere at Ikoyi.
While we were there, he said I needed to check out a website that wrote about my new single. Since he used to look out for articles written about me, I believed him. He sent the link to my Blackberry and excused himself.
I opened the website and I saw my name, picture and the proposal.
By then, I had started to cry. I did not even realise he was back until I saw him kneeling beside me with a ring.
It took me a while to say yes because I did not expect it. I thank God he proposed when he did because I did not know I was going to lose my father a few months later.
You are Yoruba, he is Igbo…
Nikki: I am someone who has never been particular about marrying a Yoruba person.
I have always been open to other cultures because I feel it’s nice to experience other cultures.
Even though both cultures differ in some ways, we have been able to achieve a balance.
Drawing from your experience, is it true that the first few years of marriage are usually the toughest? Nikki:It is not a lie. It is tough because the both of you are trying to balance your values and ideologies.
There will be moments when you will want to do things your way and the other person insists it should be done his way.
This is very normal but we are trying to smoothen out the rough edges.
There is no marraige that is not without its issues.
Who apologises first when you quarrel?
Alexander: There are times she does and at other times, I do. We are each other’s best friends and we try not to prolong our fights. How are you going to pray if you are not at peace with each other? When you make praying together a habit, you can’t stay angry for long. Are you bothered about her being in the limelight?
Alexander:It never gets to me because it is something I am very comfortable with.
A lot of people commend me for how I have handled her fame. I feel that her success is my success. She is like my garden which I am cultivating and when people celebrate my garden, indirectly, they are celebrating me.
How do you celebrate special occasions?
Alexander: It depends. Most times it depends on where we are when these special occasions come up. We try to do some quiet things like going to have dinner or we go to see a movie.
How do you handle her male admirers?
Alexander: I feel sorry for them. Do you have pet names for each other?
Alexander: I call her Oye baby.Its a play on her full name, Oyenike. Nikki:I call him Babe and sometimes Al, which is a short form for Alexander.
How romantic is she?
Alexander: She is not doing badly. For instance, on Valentine’s Day, she would decorate the house with hearts and everywhere would look very colourful.
Nikki:He is romantic but I am more romanctic.He has his way of expressing himself.
Most times, what he does is find out the things I like and he gets them done for me. For instance, he cleans the house because he knows I will be tired by the time I get home.
See more @ : http://www.gistmelove.com/2014/03/i-feel-sorry-for-my-wifes-admirers.html
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