17 months ago, I quietly walked away from an abusive marriage after just 8 months that felt like my whole lifetime! I was ashamed that I ended up making the 'wrong choice' after all the other suitors I thought were wrong and said no to. SO, I hid away to heal in USA....
God healed me to get back on my feet again to face my career! I had to summon up courage to even sketch and sew! I was verbally, emotionally and physically abused till I lost faith in myself and abilities.
I found God in a different way and HE led me back to my former goals, dreams and purposes that the hellish marriage robbed me of. I have been told my many to tell my story to encourage other women (especially the ones in entertainment and arts industry that its best to leave the violent, insecure man and stay alive)....but that would be laying bare my privacy too.
Maybe, some day I would tell the whole hell I went through! From being slapped in public, to being pursued outside [late at night] in my torn night gown and beaten, kicked and punched on the ground with demonic rage! Or the verbal abuses??? Called 'useless', 'ugly', 'fat' and so many unprintables!
Why I am daring to even post this now is that I am soooooo pisssed off at seeing another story of a young lady that was killed by her husband. Because her parents and church told her to keep praying that he would 'change'!!! Now they are planning her funeral!!!! Another Mrs. Somebody DEAD!
IF HE HITS YOU, RUN!!!!!!! Just run!!!! Don't listen to no pastor or family member to 'stay' or that God hates divorce!! God hates SUICIDE too! Staying back with a violent spouse is suicidal!
You will be OK when you walk away! And walk to safety! Cut off all connections! Stay far away! Because when you leave a violent man, he gets even more evil! He gets petty. vindictive, malicious, angrier because you 'dared' to walk away! Statistics have shown that the number of women that died in violent relationships/marriages are those that went back even after leaving!
IF I went through all that hell so that I can have the experience, survive it and be able to tell YOU [in that abusive marriage or relationship right now] to walk away.... to stay alive.....then ....all my fears, tears, blood, pains, hope lost, hurt etc of the past were NOT in vain for your sake!
On Judgement Day, God ain't judging Mr. and Mrs. It's jut you alone! Parents, please teach your boys NOT to grow up into abusers, and your girls to know they can run back home on their feet instead of in a coffin!
And yes, love can find you again!! Never give up! One bad man cannot make you judge all men as evil. there are good men out there! Get over your hurt and be open to love again! I have! So can you! Shalom.
Posted: at 9-04-2014 12:59 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
daveobahon at 9-04-2014 05:23 AM (11 years ago) (m)
ino comment jare
Posted: at 9-04-2014 05:23 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
IF HE HITS YOU, RUN!!!!!!! Just run!!!! Don't listen to no pastor or family member to 'stay' or that God hates divorce!! God hates SUICIDE too! Staying back with a violent spouse is suicidal!
I Totally agree to that.
A woman is meant to be a wife....not a punching tool.
Posted: at 9-04-2014 06:31 AM (11 years ago) | Hero
IF HE HITS YOU, RUN!!!!!!! Just run!!!! Don't listen to no pastor or family member to 'stay' or that God hates divorce!! God hates SUICIDE too! Staying back with a violent spouse is suicidal!
I Totally agree to that.
A woman is meant to be a wife....not a punching tool.
Posted: at 9-04-2014 06:34 AM (11 years ago) | Hero
Mobbysmartins at 9-04-2014 10:06 AM (11 years ago) (m)
That is your own side of the story.There is always two sides to a story.What led to the abuse?. Some women are abusing their husbands domestically on daily basis,but there will be the one to shout domestic violence and abuse.When a woman neglect her husband and party all night,does such a woman expect her husband to welcome her home in the morning with open hands?. When a woman is more interested in her career,neglecting her marriage and home for her career,does such a woman expect her husband to celebrate her?. When a woman leaves her home to go shopping in Dubai for 3 months staying in a hotel,does such a woman expect her husband to give her an award?. When a woman goes to work at 7.00 am in the morning only to come back after midnight every day even though the official time of closing is 5.00 pm,does such a woman expect her husband to be happy with her?. I am not in support of violent abuse on women,I have 4 sisters that are married and if a man does that to my sister I will surely do something about that,but my sisters also have to realize that they are in a marriage and they have a home to keep.The problem here is that most society ladies wants to eat their cake and have it at the same.There are real cases of domestic abuse by husbands and I truly condemn that.But the fact still remains that some women pushes their husbands too far,making mockery of the husband,gallivanting around the cities with sugar daddies and boyfriends in the name of one business or the other while leaving their husbands at home to take care of their kids.
Posted: at 9-04-2014 10:06 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
ngfineface at 9-04-2014 10:27 AM (11 years ago) (f)
I'm glad you survived the abuse but then what did you do? Women just come out these days and start shouting of abuse without telling us what they have done. There is always a reaction to an action. How can a husband wake up over night and start hitting his wife when he is not mad? We women especially the career ones have alot of issues, are overly proud because we earn or have nore, want the man of the house to worship us because we are society ladies, we do our own stuff without putting the institution of marriage into consideration......now tell me how a husband will not be frustrated and start being abusive especially when he does not know God? Segun Arinze and Sammy Okposo ex babes said there were abused so they took a walk. These two young men have being married for years and no such case with their present wives but Kate got married and left again. So who is fooling who? We women should stop being emotional and seeking for sympathy using abuse as a yardstick. Make una behave well and keep una mouth shut too. Your husband should be the head of the house irrespective of weda he has pay or not; don't make him to be any AKPAN. All men have pride especially when it comes to marriage. I don talk too much
Posted: at 9-04-2014 10:27 AM (11 years ago) | Hero
daveobahon at 9-04-2014 10:52 AM (11 years ago) (m)
Segun Arinze and Sammy Okposo ex babes said there were abused so they took a walk. These two young men have being married for years and no such case with their present wives but Kate got married and left again. So who is fooling who? We women should stop being emotional and seeking for sympathy using abuse as a yardstick. Make una behave well and keep una mouth shut too. Your husband should be the head of the house irrespective of weda he has pay or not; don't make him to be any AKPAN. All men have pride especially when it comes to marriage. I don talk too much GBAM U VE NAILED IT
Posted: at 9-04-2014 10:52 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
BOLUWATIFE1 at 9-04-2014 11:22 AM (11 years ago) (f)
The fact that one has not experienced such befor as a woman does not mean women are not being battered everyday. There is no justification for beating up someone you call a wife. As for the celebrities, we only hear about them because they are famous, people get married everyday, get divorced everyday and beating of women takes place everyday. So stop giving excuse for what is wrong because a man canot beat himself, finish.
Posted: at 9-04-2014 11:22 AM (11 years ago) | Newbie
That is your own side of the story.There is always two sides to a story.What led to the abuse?. Some women are abusing their husbands domestically on daily basis,but there will be the one to shout domestic violence and abuse.When a woman neglect her husband and party all night,does such a woman expect her husband to welcome her home in the morning with open hands?. When a woman is more interested in her career,neglecting her marriage and home for her career,does such a woman expect her husband to celebrate her?. When a woman leaves her home to go shopping in Dubai for 3 months staying in a hotel,does such a woman expect her husband to give her an award?. When a woman goes to work at 7.00 am in the morning only to come back after midnight every day even though the official time of closing is 5.00 pm,does such a woman expect her husband to be happy with her?. I am not in support of violent abuse on women,I have 4 sisters that are married and if a man does that to my sister I will surely do something about that,but my sisters also have to realize that they are in a marriage and they have a home to keep.The problem here is that most society ladies wants to eat their cake and have it at the same.There are real cases of domestic abuse by husbands and I truly condemn that.But the fact still remains that some women pushes their husbands too far,making mockery of the husband,gallivanting around the cities with sugar daddies and boyfriends in the name of one business or the other while leaving their husbands at home to take care of their kids. [/quo. Well spoken
Posted: at 9-04-2014 12:37 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Topsylucas at 9-04-2014 01:26 PM (11 years ago) (f)
Well what can I say? Uve all spoken well but a fact still remain dat a man shdnt lay his hands on some1 he calls his wife bcos its equal 2 beating himself. Remembr dat when they got married,dey were referred to as 1 & not as individuals. I won't advice any woman 2 stay put in an abusive marriage sha! Run 4 ur life
Posted: at 9-04-2014 01:26 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Topsylucas at 9-04-2014 01:27 PM (11 years ago) (f)
Well what can I say? Uve all spoken well but a fact still remain dat a man shdnt lay his hands on some1 he calls his wife bcos its equal 2 beating himself. Remembr dat when they got married,dey were referred to as 1 & not as individuals. I won't advice any woman 2 stay put in an abusive marriage sha! Run 4 ur life
Posted: at 9-04-2014 01:27 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Topsylucas at 9-04-2014 01:29 PM (11 years ago) (f)
Well what can I say? Uve all spoken well but a fact still remain dat a man shdnt lay his hands on some1 he calls his wife bcos its equal 2 beating himself. Remembr dat when they got married,dey were referred to as 1 & not as individuals. I won't advice any woman 2 stay put in an abusive marriage sha! Run 4 ur life
Posted: at 9-04-2014 01:29 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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