Jokes for November sake

me too

Law Enforcement
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a police man. He thinks that he is smarter than the police because he is a lawyer from Abuja and is certain that he has a better education than any police officer from kaduna. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the police man's expense.

police says, "License and particulars, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
police says, " You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
police says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and particulars, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
police says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and particulars, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and particulars; and you will take me to the station. If not, you let me go and don't waste my time."
police says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the police takes out his baton and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?
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Marriage Counseling
A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.......The counselor asks them what the problem is.
The wife launches into a tirade,, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married.... She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up,, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately........The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.....The counselor then turns to the husband and says,, "Your wife is lonely... This is what your wife needs at least three times a week... Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies,, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing..... Do you work Saturdays?"
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A sexy lady meet a handsome young man in a bar, after some drinks and a little tipsy the sexy lady said to the young man,, "My mouth is like a loud speaker,, my two Bosom s are for tuning,, left one is for tuning the channel AM or FM and my right Bosom  is for tuning bass and treble depending which mode you want.." The young man was aroused by the young lady expression, and said to the lady, "I don't believe it." Young lady said, "You can try it if you want." Young man said, "OK come to my hotel room and prove it to me.."They agreed and both holding hands and headed for the hotel room... Upon entering the room the young lady undressed herself and soon the young man start feeling the left chest for AM/FM fine tuning... After a while nothing happen. He changed to the right chest and start rubbing with greater pressure. Again nothing happened. The young man soon give up and ask the lady,, "Hello sweetie, after I have tuned your AM/FM and treble/bass chests there are no response." The sexy lady replied, "You forgot to PLUG IN your power."

i don vex. how dem  go sey this yeye joke no make dem laff??