Can I Legally Claim Her Child Before Marriage?

I am 38 years of age. The problem at hand is trying to send me to psychiatric home if not properly handled.

I met this lady in 2006 at a supermarket. One thing led to another, I offered her real hand of friendship and we became very close. During my relationship with her, I discovered her caring heart as well as compassion for humanity.

Two weeks into our relationship, she decided to share her past and mistakes with me. But I declined to share mine with her or the fact that I am financially comfortable.

In one of my visits to her, I even asked her to loan me some money to transport myself back home. I presented myself to her as a very poor man. I lied about being a Television and Radio repairer even though I own many businesses at Alaba International and Aspanda Markets.

Through out the period of our courtship, she didn’t have any idea of who I was until few weeks to our wedding. During our courtship, whenever I have to make oversea trips, I always tell her that I am travelling to the village to see my parents and that in my village none of the phone networks works. When she was eager to visit me at home, I took her to my friend’s one-room residence in Ajegunle.

Having satisfied myself that she was the right one for me and since we were on the verge of getting married, I decided to take her to my home at Victoria Garden City (VGC). On getting to the house, she was surprised to see her photographs everywhere as well as the fact that I actually stay in such a place.

It was at that point she also opened up to me about the child she had at 17, who was 13 years of age at the time we met in 2006.

She told me how everybody in the family abandoned her to her fate except her parents who are very poor. She managed to finish her secondary school. She later came to Lagos after the delivery of the baby to stay with her elder brother and to find something to do to help herself and child.

I told her that I love her and would still marry her. To my surprise, the man who impregnated her resurfaced to claim the child, but her family opposed on the grounds that he never paid any bride price on her.

My wife told me later that the man came because he got information that someone is seeking her hand in marriage besides the fact that four years after marriage, he and his wife are yet to be blessed with a child.

Agatha, can you kindly tell me what to do to make the child legally mine? Already, the child bears my name. I know bearing my name is not enough or the fact that my wife has warned him never to come near her or the child again. After our wedding ceremony, I voluntary gave N150,000 to my in-laws for the stress in taking care of the little child for the period of 13 years.

I will be a sad man for the rest of my life if I lose the child to this man. Before our marriage, I told my wife that I want the child to join us in Lagos, she obliged. I have enrolled her in the best private secondary school in Victoria Island.

How can someone who never bothered about the welfare of a child suddenly make a u-turn and demand for the child?

She is currently 16 years of age and will write her SS3 exams next year.

I have given her and the mother love, care and comfort. In fact, the child acknowledges me as her father.

To be sincere to myself, I have a fulfilling marriage. I have peace, love, trust, and just name it in my marriage. I really enjoy the goodies that come with marriage. My wife is everything to me from the first day I met her till date. We are happy together.

I want you and other right thinking Nigerians who have had similar experiences to advice me through this e-mail address [email protected]