Winning Your Love

Do people still write love letters? I cannot really say since it’s a long time I stopped receiving all the “you are the only sugar in my tea, cockroach in my cupboard, my mother’s look-alike” etc., messages.

You know all that teenage stuff you’ll read and hide when mummy or big brother is approaching. Why are you laughing at me? Okay, you’re saying that I’m no more a babe. Anyway, you may be right but how can a mother of two still be competing with yuppies? I think there is even a better dose in marriage than all those lies guys would just be telling you.

Although some married couples complain sweet words do not come often, they still enjoy it when it finally arrives. Here, you can be sure he means what he says to a reasonable extent—I don’t rule out the fact that some married men even have sweeter mouths than singles.

You made me remember one of my friends’ husband, who has close to nothing but tells the wife on a daily basis how happy and rich they will be tomorrow, while he shows her good cars that he expects to acquire for the children. Tell me, if it’s you, won’t you be tempted to believe this guy is doing something really serious to accomplish his dreams? But all lies, he’s just babbling.

Now, back to our issue of love letter, are you now happy to hear that we (the married) still write and receive love notes from our spouses? Thank God for GSM, whether you know how to compose romantic texts or not is not even the issue, you can even buy some pamphlets from Yaba or people hawking in the traffic. But how painful will it be if you find a love letter written by another woman to your hubby? Let me guess your feelings: hurt, enraged, insulted, betrayed and a lot more.

Today, you’ll get to hear the experience of a woman called Princess and how she handled the situation.

“I have been with Jerry for the past six years, our marriage received God’s blessing (children) early enough and I’ve been engrossed in the upbringing of the children, you know what it entails, don’t you? Morning preparation, school run, launch, home work, dinner, etc. After the second child, I suggested to Jerry I would love to get a house help so I could live my life again as a woman. His first reaction was to complain that I was set to join the cue of lazy women who just sit at home and make endless calls, gossiping with friends and relatives or fix appointments to shop around town. As I watched him fuss as a wounded lion, I quietly asked if he could allow me to explain why I wanted help at home and he did. By the time I mentioned I wanted to go back to school for further study, he simply nodded in agreement and went all the way to get the forms for me. The semester started and I was now once again able to mix and match with my colleagues. It was really nice to update myself like the other women. Jerry, who was working as an engineer with a renowned telecoms company, had lots of challenges to be part of the team sent to different locations to expand their network.

“I was lucky the girl brought to me could work with little or no supervision, so I had all the time to concentrate in my study. I now had frequent meetings with colleagues and gradually forgot to call or even return Jerry’s calls when they came. Nobody told me I was hurting him, while he never mentioned it. Instead, he kept longer at the station and would even move to the next location without coming to see me. When I could not bear it any more, I told him the children were missing him silly, so he came, but at his own time.

“As I tried to play ‘the good wife,’ sorting his clothes for laundry, I found a LOVE LETTER written to Jerry by another woman. What drove me crazy was the choice of her words. For once, I stopped to wonder if I had ever spoken to Jerry in such a romantic way. She was careful enough to notice something as negligible as the friction on Jerry’s hair line, the way he looks in his overall, how his safety cap reemphasises his masculine character, etc. The one that ‘broke the camel’s back’ was her subtle description of Jerry’s performance as a man. It hurt me real bad and I asked myself did they really do it behind me? Well, that is what it looks like.

“I quickly tucked the letter in my pocket and went to the children’s bathroom where Jerry can hardly suspect, to go over it again. The more I read, the more pains I felt. At last, I made up my mind to accost Jerry on my latest discovery. When confronted, I expected a riotous reaction but to my dismay, nothing of such happened, rather, he broke down in total hurt and heartache, explaining how lonely and dejected I made him feel, after all, he went to work for the good of the family and was sending money regularly for our upkeep.

“On different occasions, he had asked me to come on visit, but I always placed my school first. He confessed it was the only female engineer they had as supervisor on sight that kept him company and without any conscious effort, the relationship turned emotional and lots of love and attachments followed.

“Instead for me to condemn Jerry, I humbly apologised for negligence and did all within my power to WIN back my love.”

This is the conclusion of the whole matter—men should fear and worship GOD.