There is no bitter truth in this for me, I am not guilty of any of the things he mentioned. My problem is with what he is promoting, which I have seen on this site over and over again. Nigerian men have their stereotypes too, they are known to be are rude , aggressive, cheaters, weak, scammers,woman beaters, liars, have no respect for women except their mother, when they have no money the will expect you to stay with them but when they get money you are wife number 3... I can go on listing stereotypes of Nigerian men. I have met women here who refuse to date Nigerian men, I have met Nigerian men who play out the stereotype to the max, they own it. Infact if I conclude based on my past relationships alone with I will NEVER date a Nigerian man. Difference is I know those men do not represent all Nigerian men. I have friends that don't fall into those stereotypes, my brother does not as well.
Somehow we always select the worst to represent us, we are very eager to accept the labels others put on us and are more than happy to spread them with out own mouth. They say we are scammer? we accept, we cant be trusted? we accept, we can't rule ourselve? we give all our power to foreigners... Many Nigerian don't say anything good about Nigerian abroad, we are very quick to bring down other Nigerians so that we look like we're the better ones but to the person you are talking to you are the same. I met someone from another African country who is dating a Nigerian, she told me hes says he can never trust a Nigerian, hes probably thinking that makes look smarter or better but to that woman if their relationship fails he would be like the other Nigerians. The guy must have forgotten that his parents are Nigerians and his children will be Nigerians or half Nigerians. Another Nigerian was telling me how she bad Nigerians are like we are in some special category. When we say ignorant things like this we forget that our mothers, sisters aunts, neices are Nigerians, we forget the pleasant ones that have helped us, some will even say 'there is no good Nigerian woman except my mother'
We blame everyone else except ourselves. If you keep bumping into bad women maybe you're a bad person, there is something about you attracting them or you're making bad choices. In relationship like attracts. As much as I would like to blame the Nigerian men I dated, it takes two to tangle, I made bad choices. If you don't like the women you are attracting, stop complaining while doing the same thing, do something about it... raise your stands, change certain thing about you, change environment, get a new hobby... change something instead of complaning.
I'm not saying all Nigerians are perfect and there is no truth to these stereotype ( because some of us are really messed up) but thats not the whole picture. If you've identified that there are these kinds of women and men around, it doesn't say well of you if you keep dating them or doing business with them again and again while complaining, not very wise. Some men would go to the club to pick a woman with the shortest skirts doing the craziest things( not saying that are all bad or you can't find a good woman in the club but more often than not they are...) and would act surprised when start doing acting up
Its like we're playing 'who can bring the other down faster' and it is ridiculous. Whos winning?
| Posted: at 11-11-2010 06:47 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming |
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