Logic and the English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England.

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from

Guinea nor is it a pig

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,

Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation

It ends.

 

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Posted: at 4-11-2008 08:48 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

i de feel u joooooo

Posted: at 4-11-2008 05:56 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie

na lecture be dis? wetin be the course code?

Posted: at 5-11-2008 03:26 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

that na 100level course na. na doctorate i dey run now.

Posted: at 6-11-2008 09:24 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

why e be say na my name be the course code. na me form the course?

Posted: at 6-11-2008 10:01 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

na crime to ask for course code again?

Posted: at 6-11-2008 10:17 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

lol ya' all

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Posted: at 30-11-2008 05:18 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

 Nice one. Really enjoyed it though it's not a joke.

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Posted: at 1-12-2008 02:12 AM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

you be phyuk up see how you take waste my time read or listen to your lecter so dull abeg try more hader pls thanks

Posted: at 27-12-2008 03:41 AM (15 years ago) | Upcoming

Na by force to read... waka pass na!

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Posted: at 27-12-2008 06:56 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac