Customer: "Helloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh...,hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Hotondo and you're calling from 17
Changi Road. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302
and your mobile is 0142662566. "
Customer: "How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"
from the National library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
total is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since October last
year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing
loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and
withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash
ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a
Scooter,....registration number 1123..."
Customer: " Huh?"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
also diabetic....... "
Customer: .... (abusive language )
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July
1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a
policeman...?"
Customer: [Faints]
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