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2522
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Duck and A Bartender |
on: 10-03-2011 03:58 PM
| | A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
The bartender says "What can I get you?"
Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
Bartender (looking surprised and finding the question odd):
No, I'm afraid we don't.
And the duck waddles slowly out of the bar.
The next day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, hops up on a bar stool.
Bartender: Hi. What can I get for you?
Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
Bartender (a little annoyed): Hey! Weren't you in here yesterday. Look buddy, we don't have any grapes. OK?
The duck hops off the stool and waddles out the door.
The next day, at the same time, the bartender is cleaning some glasses when he hears a familiar voice
Duck: Umm.. Do you have any grapes?
The bartender is really ticked off.
Bartender: Look. What's your problem? You came in here yesterday asking for grapes, I TOLD you, WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES!! Next time I see your little ducktail waddle in here I'm going to nail those little webbed feet of yours to the floor. GOT me pal?
And the duck hops off the bar stool and waddles out.
The NEXT day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, walks up to the bartender and the bartender says,
"What the heck do YOU want?"
Umm. do you have any nails?
What!? OF course not.
Oh. Well, do you have any grapes? | | | | |
2530
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Cheating (Page 4) |
on: 10-03-2011 02:54 PM
| | Hmm Hmm Hmm. I don come back. E be like say stephen no know say that him chain saw no touch me rather na tomatoes wey dey my hand nai the thing burst. So since i don know him plan, i don go re-enforce. Jst wait for me ooo. Bcos i still dey wonder which 1 i wan use for u cos my collection wey i go bring come, no one u fit escape inside | | | | |
2534
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Stupidity upon stupidity |
on: 10-03-2011 01:18 PM
| Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Sorry i don't get this joke, could u continue 4rm where u stopped or is finished? neither do i | | | | |
2537
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Cheating |
on: 10-03-2011 01:05 PM
| terry u know say this na pb4 but u no wan talk
all u knw is pb4. I'm starting 2 notice smtin. Even ur face is pb4 pb5 pb6 - infinity. Stupid | | | | |
2538
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Cheating |
on: 9-03-2011 06:41 PM
| | A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!" after me | | | | |
2539
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Getting Herpies |
on: 9-03-2011 06:25 PM
| | This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her Bosom s and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies(A highly contagious, segxwally transmitted viral infection of the genital and anal regions caused by herpes simplex and characterized by small clusters of painful lesions.) - thats why I am here!" | | | | |
2540
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / 25 yrs after marriage. |
on: 9-03-2011 06:06 PM
| | A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to phyuk your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job." | | | | |
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