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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / HILARIOUS : Hidden benefits of ASSUstrike |
on: 22-11-2013 05:56 PM
| Since ASSU strike started, I have not seen girls Dp in hotels, and classy cars of 2013 that their father cannot even buy. No more PH loading, abuja on point, Lasgidi on my mind, paris is de best place for ur shopping, Calabar was fun....lol. Everybody dey house, una never see anything. Snap pictures for ur house now, or for inside ur papa flat boot benz 1989 model make we see..Lol. No money for brazilian hair, they are now on low cut. No more shawarma, na bone dem dey chew now. Una never see anything. Christmas don reach oo, una go barb punk dis time. Now na home sure pass. Lololol. | | |
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / Find out what drives men to cheat and learn some effective ways to prevent infidelity. |
on: 18-08-2013 06:13 AM
| Find out what drives men to cheat and learn some effective ways to prevent infidelity.
Five things men are looking for when they cheat:
1. Emotional Connection. As relationships mature, power struggles tend to become more prevalent (as obvious as the "I'm Right"/"No, I'm Right" conversation and as subtle as the timing and frequency of sex). When a man experiences repeated power struggles with his spouse, his natural tendency is to "go to his cave", which really means get quiet and distant and grumpy! Which makes emotional connection that much more difficult. Over time he misses the emotional connection he previously felt with his spouse. When he meets someone new and they accept him for "who he is" it's much easier for him to connect with his emotions and feel connection with this new and interesting person. Of course when the lust and honeymoon period are over and the power struggles start to arise in the new relationship he'll likely revert to his well-learned pattern and his struggles will start all over again.
2. Appreciation. Men loved to be appreciated and like so many people they don't really know how to accept appreciation! Or how to ask for it or even how to give it to themselves (or to other people for that matter). So when it stops being quite so plentiful from their spouse and if the relationship contains a heavy dose of blame and criticism (as most do) or even possibly contempt, men start looking for positive affirmations from others. With the new love interest everything is wonderful — he is wonderful — in the first flush of a new relationship — then we all tend to fall into upping criticism and dropping appreciation.
3. Intimacy. Men want a partner who will listen, who will volunteer information about their own lives and discoveries and someone who smiles and excitedly shares their hopes and dreams. Of course, men don't generally know how to communicate this. In their existing relationship the tendency is to think, "We're married, I know everything about you … " In their new relationship everything is new and exciting and learning about the new partner is initially easy and the feeling of intimate connection is created.
4. Feeling Wanted. Everyone wants to feel wanted regardless of age, gender or occupation. Men are no different. And men tend to be socialized to provide security and strength as an expectation, rather than something to be appreciated for. As life moves along a man can often feel like his contribution is taken for granted and who he is, as opposed to what he can provide, becomes less important. In a new relationship suddenly he matters again.
5. Sex. Speaking of fun activities, men generally do want sex and the more the better. Sex is one way that men feel connected to their partner. Men also feel appreciated and wanted when they have sex with their partner. So for men, sex provides the first four items on our list plus physical pleasure that allows men to focus totally on the present moment. In a new relationship the sex tends to be a lot more frequent. At least initially! So What's The Answer? When a man thinks about cheating it's likely that he's not happy about the relationship he's in and/or that something is missing. What also seems to happen is that men feel victimised by their relationship and believe they have no power to influence a change. "If only she would …" is often a refrain that many married men espouse and yet they say nothing to their partner. Or complain that when they try, she just doesn't listen. Sure there's a part that the partner plays in all this but I'm talking about the male side of the equation and what the man can do to find what he's looking for within his relationship.
There are four main approaches being part of the cure which are listed below:
1. Be Brave. Speak up about what is concerning you or lacking in your relationship — regardless of the response that comes up from your partner. If you want something different in your relationship, you need to become courageous and communicate clearly. Then the possibility for creating something very different and special can exist. Find out what drives men to cheat and learn some effective ways to prevent infidelity.
2. Take responsibility. Be open and interested in what you are doing to contribute to the state of your relationship. And be willing to make your own changes.
3. Recognise the difference between feeling segxwal and taking action. segxwal feelings, like all our other feelings, are not under our control. Acting on our segxwal feelings is totally under our control. Don't use the "I just couldn't help myself" line to excuse your behaviour. If you really are not fulfilled, segxwally or otherwise in your relationship and you think that the answer is to cheat, think again. The answer is to delve into yourself and your partner and your relationship to create something new. And if that is not possible then the answer may be to leave the relationship — openly, clearly and courageously.
4. Shoot for the moon. Maybe we've taken our relationships for granted or maybe we set our relationship goals too low. What would happen if we shot for the moon when it comes to our intimate relationship and make this partnership our highest priority? Through making our connection our highest priority we can begin to learn so much about our partner and ourselves such that life feels exciting and alive all the time | | |
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / 10 tough truths about dating today’s Christian |
on: 16-08-2013 01:29 AM
| Dear unmarried guys, I hate to break it to you, but Christian women are not as innocent as they may seem. Perhaps instead of saying “they”, I should say “we,” but oh, well. Semantics. I thought about you today, guys, and decided that it would be a good idea to tell you the truth because a truth that you do not know cannot set you free. Plus, I needed to jolt you all into the realization that you need to pray and be watchful. King Solomon warned about the Strange Woman several times in Proverbs 2, 6, 7, and elsewhere. Before I go on, I’d like to underscore the fact that this is generalization, and every woman is unique and different. Still, I just thought I’d share: 1) If you’re dating a woman who is 25 and over and you haven’t proposed, chances are she has a plan B. It might be hard to take in, but women these days have woken up to the fact that godly men are few and far between. She knows two things. A, she’s a beautiful, godly woman, and she is therefore wife material. B, men know what they want, and will do what it takes to get it. Sooner or later, she’ll pick up on the fact that you’re wasting her time, and she’ll make the appropriate arrangements to move on. So if you’re being a joker, style up; if that ultimatum comes up, take it seriously. In the back of her mind, she has already calculated the amount of time it takes to befriend, be courted by, get proposed to, be engaged to, and become married to a man. She knows that if you break up, she does not have another 5 years to get to know other people, because her clock is ticking. So if you have been dating her for over a certain number of years, chances are she is slowly putting her ducks in a row and casually getting to know other brothers just in case this hits the fan. This is not wrong at all. She’s not cheating. She’s just looking out for herself. No rings, no ropes.
2) Size matters, and so does other superficial stuff. This is another hard truth to take in, but there you have it. The size of your bank account, the size of your faith, the size of the diamond in the engagement ring, and the sizes of other things are topics that come up in discussions among Christian women. They will fast, pray, or try to find ways to ascertain that you are appropriately-sized in the appropriate places. Your looks will be discussed, as will your grooming and manners. For some women, these are deal breakers. For some, they’re not. The wrong size does not always mean she’ll walk away. To be safe, take care of yourself. There are some things you can’t change, but there’s no reason for you to walk around all raggedy, for instance, especially since you know very well you wouldn’t touch a raggedy woman with a ten-foot pole. You might not be able to afford the best, but do the best you can; don’t be cheap. Christ is the standard, and he gave His life.
3) There are still virgins out there. In 2012, there are women of all ages, in the 20s, 30s, maybe 40s, who have decided to save themselves for marriage. I know several. You cannot tell it from their faces and they may not necessarily broadcast it, even though lately broadcasting virginity has become fashionable (and profitable). But, here’s the caveat:
4) Virginity has become relative. In 2012, the word “virgin” pretty much means any woman whose honeypot has not been penetrated by a penis. So if you’re looking to marry a virgin, be sure your definitions are in agreement. To some people, it’s possible partake of or participate in EVERYTHING but penile penetration and still be a virgin. Isn’t it funny that if a person in a relationship or marriage partakes of all these things, it’s cheating, regardless of whether penetration took place or not?
5) She likely does not want to marry a virgin in the technical sense of the word. In fact, when I was considering reviewing Christian books, I came across a candid book, Preparing for Marriage the Right Way, by a lady named Ebonie Hardman, that was my first encounter with such a blatant admission of this fact. I had heard it said in hushed tones, but here she was, putting it in a book for all to see. Her prayer (which I think was answered, by the way) went as follows, “I ask… that my husband has experience in the bedroom… and can teach and guide me… I would love to experience that joy in marriage with a saved man that has experience with women in [his] ‘Before Christ’ days.” This is not uncommon at all. It is something many women pray about. Whether it’s a good or bad thing, I don’t know. I’m not saying you should sleep around to develop your skills. If Eve had babies, Adam learnt his skills, somehow – and we know there were no women before Eve. I’m just saying it happens.
6) You might find her online. Online dating does not carry the stigma it once did. I say to any man out there who is busy whining about being single, go online. I doubt that God is going to bring your woman sailing down from the sky on a silver platter. Your choices, and your actions, have a role in the matter, and God is pleased to guide you and bless your direction. There are many Christian women who have given up on finding a good man in their circles, and so they have opted to choose the internet. If you’re too shy to use a dating site such as Christian Café or Christian Mingle, Facebook is a goldmine for any single man. People are a little freer on FB because they do not necessarily feel that they are being sought out as potential spouses. Use your discretion, of course.
7) She wants the full package. The 2012 Christian woman is successful, and if she’s not, then she likely wants to be and is working towards it. She’s not going to settle for just anyone. This is the truth. Yes, we may say that your level of education does not matter, and it really doesn’t in the grand scheme of things, but if you have any control over the matter, go to school. Get a decent job. Learn a little bit about fashion. Today’s Christian woman wants to date a man who can pray up a storm, help change diapers and do dishes after dinner from time to time, bring home the bacon, and wine and dine her. The way she sees it, she’s expected to hold it all down AND look good doing it, so what’s stopping you? The point here is don’t be complacent.
She CAN become your wife without loving you. Because a woman’s greatest need is security, it is very possible for a woman to agree to marry you even if she is not deeply in love with you, as long as everything is just right. In fact, an aunt of mine advised that no woman should ever marry a man who loves her less than she loves him. Her punch line? “The love will come. Women can grow to love men, but if a man does not love you, that’s it.” Well, husbands are told to love their wives like Christ loved the church, aren’t they? What did Christ do? He died for His church before she even knew Him! He does so much more for her now that she is His bride! So as painful as this might seem, don’t whine about it. Here’s the secret: A woman cannot help but love a man who loves her right. Think about it – the more you learn about Christ’s love for you, the more you love Him, right? But will Christ allow people who don’t love Him into heaven? No. I would not recommend marrying a woman who does not love you.
9) Her influences could dictate your peace. Opinions, solicited and unsolicited, flood into a born again woman’s ear gates day in, day out. The magazines say one thing, church says another, and her friends probably blend the two together. If you want to marry today’s Christian woman, you have to learn how to put your foot down and decide the path your home will take. If you’re not strong, you will buy a car because Kamau bought one; then you will sell it when Opiyo sells his; and you will move abroad because you are trying to compete. Fashion trends, social activities, spiritual activities – all these could go so far as to determine your segxwal life and the well-being of your children, so know what you need to know before you commit. Think I’m kidding? Well, how are you going to get any loving if she’s at a kesha? Who will pick the children up from school if she’s at a monthly girlfriends’ retreat in Mombasa? Speaking of which:
10) She might see children as a hindrance. This is among the toughest things for men to accept these days, and they often find it out after they are married. But today’s Christian woman might not want to have children right after marriage – or ever. School and career, or, in other words, “moving on up,” and having a good time, conveniently branded as “freedom,” may actually be a priority. Friends call me every few weeks CRYING – not for joy – because they MIGHT be pregnant. PRAYING that it is not true. They freak out before they even go to the store to buy the pregnancy test. You’d better be 100% sure you are on the same page on this issue if you want to avoid a bitter marriage. What does all this say? Well… if you want to marry a good woman, know that you might find her in an unconventional place or manner. When you do find her, take your time to get to know her. Understand that she is only made flawless in Christ; her past may have some gory details but is cleansed by her Lord. Get to know why she is in it.
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Forum / Religion / Don't give in to your fears. |
on: 8-08-2013 11:47 PM
| Don't give in to your fears.
The fact that fear is inimical and detrimental to victory or any success, cannot be overemphasized. For any man to attain the status of a hero, he must first deal with and overcome the enemy called 'fear' in him. With this, he can advance to heroism. Little wonder did Pro. 28:1 says " the wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion." (ESV) " for God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind"(2 Tim. 1:7). Faith is the key, cultivate and u'll be victorious. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates other.
Say this to urslf. "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"
Remember this. "Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something" Wish u all a stress free week ahead. The LORD IS GOOD. | | |
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / 10 Top ways to make your man happy. |
on: 28-04-2013 01:35 AM
| Many of today’s wives are complaining left and right about their husbands’ many shortcomings. So why should a wife make her husband happy when he’s not making her happy? And guess what? I can attest that when you respect your spouse and practice making your husband happy, he will turn around and pour that love right back onto you. Ready to get started? Here are the top ten ways to make your husband happy:
1. Make sex a priority. No big surprise here. Women understand intellectually that segxwal fulfillment is a top need of a man. But do your actions demonstrate that you really get it? Maybe you’ve taken care of the kids, cooked a delicious dinner, and even endured an action flick. Compared to the other wives you know, you’re doing pretty well. Yet you may be discounting his need for fulfilling sex. Most husbands would rather have dishes in the sink and a wife waiting in the bedroom.
2. Make your home a haven. The world can be a tough place. When your husband walks in the door, he needs to breathe a sigh of relief. He’s home. Think of how you greet your husband. Does he see the back of your head as you type furiously on the computer or do you look him in the eyes and say, “Honey I’m so glad you’re home”? Make your home a place where your husband feels welcome.
3. Respect your man’s needs. What need does your husband have that perhaps you have discounted? It may be sex, quality time, the cookies you used to bake him, or going to ball games together. Don’t get defensive when your husband voices a need. Listen instead and then act positively to meet that need the best you can.
4. Let your man lead. The idea of submission has many women up in arms. That does not need to be the case. The New Testament speaks clearly in three passages that we wives are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord ( Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1). This doesn’t mean you become a door mat. What it does mean is that your respect your husband’s role as the leader of the home. After you’ve weighed in on a topic, the final decision belongs to your man.
5. Kiss every day for five to thirty seconds. Here’s something your husband will really like! It doesn’t cost a penny and it hardly takes any time. A healthy daily dose of passionate kissing will boost your marriage and keep the pilot light lit between you. Give out plenty of kisses, just like when you were dating.
6. Take care of your appearance. When you were dating, your husband found your body type attractive. He was hooked on your looks. Now that you’re married, it’s important that he still finds you attractive. When you take time and effort to watch your weight and dress nicely for your spouse, it communicates volumes. I care about you. You’re still the one for me. I want you to approach me.
7. Bring back date night. Someone once wisely said to me that date nights are less expensive than marriage counseling. When you have time to regularly connect with your spouse to be fun and romantic, you prevent the arctic chill from settling between you. Date nights give you something to look forward to. Make sure they don’t become family business meetings. Guard your date nights as pure recreation and pleasure.
8. Smile. You’ve probably heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” Most, if not all, husbands would certainly agree to that! When a wife is unhappy, everyone in the household knows. Some days you may not feel like smiling around the house, but go ahead and fake it at first. Put that plastic smile on and most likely, your natural beautiful smile will emerge shortly after. Your smile communicates to your man, “I’m happy to be married to you. I am thankful for a great life with you.”
9. Speak kindly. If someone were to repeat all the things you say to your husband, would it be “news that’s fit to print?” Are you heaping on praise and encouragement, or criticism and sarcasm? Treasure your husband’s efforts to please you and provide for your family. Don’t trash what he does either to his face or behind his back. Your words matter more to him than anyone else’s.
10. Get on the same parenting page. Your kids know they can divide and conquer. When they succeed, your home is anything but peaceful. Recognize that you and your husband are not on opposite teams with different parenting philosophies. You’ve got to get on the same team so you can be a united front to your children.
So which of these suggestions do you think would bless your husband the most? Try implementing that tip this week and then keep adding to your repertoire. You will have one very happy husband! | | |
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Forum / Celebrity Talk & Discussions / Our story as Plantashun Boiz – Faze |
on: 28-04-2013 01:05 AM
| Annie used to sit under the tree to cry for 2face’s love … After a failed album, Originality, he took a long break from the music scene, only to re-surface with Re-Fazed, an album which opens a new side to the dreadlocks wearing Faze. But this time, the dreads are gone- here comes the ‘new born’ Faze. Read on. What have you been working on? I’m working on my new album titled Re-Fazed. It contains a number of tracks with the videos already shot. We are putting finishing touches to the album, and I have already started the album promotion, shot videos and granting radio interviews. A lot of things have been going on. I’ve changed my management, a lot of things have been re-Fazed. What’s ‘Re-Fazed’ all about? It’s about me and everything around me. Basically, everything that has to do with my music has changed. It’s not like I’m not the same Faze but my music has changed because the environment is changing. My dreadlocks have been shaved. The kind of music I do right now is that which people have to dance to, and my management has changed too. Why did you change your management? I feel it’s better for me to be doing most of my stuff. I’m a very funny person. I like getting involved in my own project. How many tracks are contained in your new album? It has 17 tracks in all. I have songs like Good Wife, Nkem and some new ones we’ve just done. Who’s the producer? I worked with new people because I don’t always like old hands. When I meet new hands, I try my best working with them because I believe challenging them will get me challenged too. I worked with a guy called Pig Mixed, Rhyno, Kelly among others. What about doing collaborations? I’ll do collabos but not now. It will be after releasing the album. After dropping the last single, Originality, you went off the stage, what happened? I didn’t go off the stage. I only took my time to do some research because when I dropped my last single and it didn’t fly the way I expected, I quickly carried out a research. That’s why every artiste is scared to release singles because of the fear that fans may not like it. If you see an artiste daring to bring out an album, it means he has confidence in himself because releasing an album is the greatest fear of any artiste. We are not scared and that’s why we do the best we can, we experiment our performances with people and they tell us what they think about us. That’s why it’s not good to ask your friends to judge your music because they’ll always tell you it’s good. They don’t want to offend you. But when critics descend our music, you don’t need to be told to buckle up. When is the album dropping? It’s out already but the problem is that people don’t know it has been released. What we are doing at the moment is to include other songs in the album and then, plan a proper launch. That’s where I had a problem with my former managers. I don’t want to talk about it now. I’m working with a new team and we are trying our best to do something new with it. I’m trying to re-package the album and make noise with it. I’m also trying to organize a concert starting from next month. It’s going to be a U.S tour. Are you saying that your former manager was not good? No, it’s not like that. We had an agreement that we should go our different ways because I felt the way I used to run my business is different from the way they are used to doing it. We can’t work together because my style of doing things is different from theirs. What was the reaction you got from fans after you cut your dreadlocks? I was scared which was normal because I didn’t know what fans would say. People have always loved and known me with my dreadlocks. But I was surprised because they were impressed. And when they saw me cut my dreads, they actually knew that something new will come out of it. At the end of the day, it’s the fans’ reaction that will determine whether your songs and looks are good or not. And I got positive reactions which I think is good for me. Why do you think you had to change your kind of music in order to stage a comeback? It’s not like it’s changed. There’s a little of me that is contained in my new song because everybody wants to dance. Even if you give birth to a child today, she wants to dance. It’s not everybody that loves mid-tempo songs. So, I had to mix it with dancing songs then, they can go through the album and appreciate others. Taking you back, what was growing up like? My parents were never poor. They cared of me and my siblings very well and that’s why I’m trying to do same very soon. I attended Nazareth Primary school and Festac Grammar School. I did ATS 1 & 2 in Ilaro and later had my degree in International Relations and Diplomatic Studies. Then I went into music. Why didn’t you practice what you studied? Black Face told me some time ago that if I knew I wanted to do music, I had to leave every other thing and face it. It did work out for me. God has a calling for everyone, and I think music is my calling. What do you mean by ‘leaving everything’? That is I had to relocate from where I was living because we weren’t living together at that time. I went to live with 2face and Blackface to enable us form the Plantashun Boiz. Even there was a movie I featured in, titled Alero’s Symphony. I insisted that I would be coming to location from my home but the producers disagreed with me because they wanted me to get used to the environment. So, I was on location for about three months and that was what delayed my album. You have a degree, 2face doesn’t, and I don’t think Black Face does… No, Black Face has a degree. What Black Face just told me was that if I wanted to cope with Plantashun Boiz, I should forget about this because I don’t like talking about the past. As young boys, in the Plantashun Boiz, we were always back up to each other. If 2face wasn’t singing, I could take his part because we have similar voices. And Black Face raps and sings at the same time. So, two heads are better then one. Then, as the baby of Plantashun Boiz, I listened to whatever Black Face said, and I never see anything wrong with that because it worked out for me. Who knows, if I wasn’t part of the group, I might be struggling with other groups to come up today. I attempted it and it worked but if I tried and it didn’t work out, maybe I would have done something else. How do you feel today that 2face is a superstar as well as yourself, but Black Face is yet to hit the mark? Black Face is also going to be big. Everybody seems to be supporting him financially, and it takes a lot for people to believe in you. Black Face wrote almost all the songs we had in our first album, so, he has potentials. He has management challenges and people that believe in him. We must be frank, we have some junk music in the industry but they sell because they have financial backups to pay for publicity and other things. These days, if you are bringing out an album, it has to be well packaged, it has to generate noise. I’m working on something with him to make sure he bounces back. Since you know his problem, why didn’t you… ? He’s going to be big. Everybody has his time But don’t you think it’s getting too late? Nothing is too late. He just needs a single and I’m working with him on his album because he was involved in my career. I remember when I wanted to go for a singing competition. I was young and scared of the unexpected because there were so many ladies there that could sing well. I didn’t want to involve myself because I noticed judges were usually partial when it comes to ladies. It was a live performance but Black Face encouraged me to go ahead. He accompanied me to the competition and I won at the end of the day. So, it’s the same spirit that I’m trying to give back to him. Whenever, we sit and write songs together, he writes in a different dimension. I think the only thing he needs to do is take his time and not to be in a hurry. It appears you are more passionate about Black Face than 2face? No, it’s not like that. 2Face is already big and Black Face will still grow. Most of the times when he’s down, I sit with him because I know his kind of person. He has talent and he has his fans. What is left is for him to give his fans the right music to listen to and enjoy. He made me grow, and I don’t want to say I don’t care about anybody but I’m a kind of person that I don’t forget my benefactors. Sometimes, God directs me to give to people and I do it because I know there’s blessing behind it. It was Black Face who made me join Plantashun Boiz and that’s why I’m known today. So why didn’t you speak with 2face to lend him a support? What he needs isn’t financial support. We are working together to bring out the right songs. What’s 2face doing about it? I’m sure both of them meet to discuss on their own, you know they are from the same area. I can only speak for myself that whatever I do for Black Face, I’m not helping myself, he’s helping me. I’m still going to do one or two songs with 2face in future. But I’m doing everything to make sure things work out well for Black Face. We are all looking for money to take care of our responsibilities. The highest we can do is work together and make more money. Black Face has been helpful to me even financially so, it’s on both sides. Why were you and Black Face absent at Tuface’s Dubai wedding? I was in Dubai but got to the venue very late. I had other functions I was attending to. People saw me because we were together at the club. Black Face has his own reason he didn’t make it. But you are his friend and you should know better He must have his reasons. Maybe, he didn’t have money for the ticket…? It’s not about the money because tickets don’t cost that much. He must have his own reasons. Tuface had his reasons he didn’t invite him too. After all, when Black Face did his wedding, none of us was there. Now, that 2face and Black Face are married, what are you waiting for? I’ll do that very soon. I thought you said you had a girl you were dating for years and you’d get married to? I’ve never dated any girl for years in my whole life. Besides, I don’t have to date anybody for years before knowing who she is. That’s why I wrote a song called Good Wife. I know the qualities of a good wife, and it’s only God that can show you who a good wife is because you know most of our young ladies pretend only to change after the wedding. I know my wife. It’s not that I’m perfect. Meaning that someone is in your life… Yes, I don’t play with that. But what if I want to marry her but she isn’t ready for it? Both of us have our lives to live but what matters is that we love each other. I didn’t say I have another girl. She’s a wife to be by God’s grace. It’s not that my mum has to approve her. It’s just for her to pray because God determines everything we do in life. I do things at my own time and make sure that person is ready to do it too. So when is your time? I won’t say anything now but it’ll happen at the right time. How come you and Black Face are reserved with girls but 2face isn’t? Tuface is also a cool headed person. The girls who got pregnant for him knew what to do to avoid pregnancy but they didn’t. That means they wanted the babies. They wanted him to marry them? It’s all about choice when he decided to marry Annie. I’ve known Annie for years and I think she’s perfect for him. There were times she would sit under the tree, crying and asking me if 2face really loved her. Even when 2face was dating Annie, Black Face and I were equally dating two of Annie’s friends. But we didn’t marry those girls but 2face and Annie eventually got married. That’s life for you. How do you cope with girls? It’s not easy. They come, want to get very intimate and ready to do anything. Some of them already have boyfriends, and some are even married but I know the rules. So, what I do is to invite them to my shows and they see me. Some of them just wants their parents to see me. There was a girl that her mother always calls me and prays for me over the phone. So, considering all the prayers I get from mostly elderly people, I don’t think any evil can happen to me in this life. So since you are still single… No, I’m not single. I have a fiancee and I’m marrying her by God’s grace. How does your fiancee cope at your shows? No she can’t go to my shows because it’s not right. I’m not a public person and I can never take my wife to-be to my events. And that’s why I can’t marry an entertainment person because we can’t be doing the same thing. Maybe, you don’t want her to get jealous She can’t get jealous because she’s a matured person. I don’t go out with kids and I can’t date a girl that’s not intelligent because it’s going to affect my career, and even our kids will be dull. I like a lady who can help organize my life. | | |
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Forum / Relationships & Romance / ‘I’ll make the first move on a cute guy’ - EVA |
on: 28-04-2013 01:00 AM
| For music lovers, Eva is the gifted rapper that makes them pause and listen to the lyrics of her songs. Thanks to her talent, the Bowen University graduate of Computer Science appeared on the acclaimed Cypher segment during the 2012 edition of the BET HIP-HOP Awards. Top acts like Kanye West, Nicky Minaj and Eminem have also appeared on Cypher. Ask the guys and they will tell you that the artiste known as Eva Alordiah off stage is eye candy they would gladly stare at. Add up her sexy looks with her rapping prowess and you will understand why there is a buzz about the artiste once signed to Trybes Records. It wasn’t long after the death of pop star, Goldie that TS Weekend met with Eva for this chat. She had a close relationship with the Skibobo singer, which lasted until she passed on in February. Despite her sadness, Eva was willing to talk about the person behind the Goldie persona, perhaps to ensure that fans have a good memory of her late friend. “Goldie is an inspiration to me. I modeled my image and career after her. I also emulate her work ethic because she was hard working and she knew exactly what she wanted,” she said. “I can tell you that as we are in the beginning of the year, Goldie must have mapped out all the things she must do in 2013 and she would have worked hard until she achieved each one of her goals. We were scheduled to do a track together. But we never got to do it. I regret this so much.” Eva’s expression of grief didn’t stop at the broken dreams of the artiste whose unique style and colourful videos earned her the ‘Nigerian Lady Gaga’ moniker from admiring fans, she expressed dismay over the remarks made about Goldie after she returned from the BBA. According to the rapper, people didn’t know the real Goldie. “She literarily lived through the negative remarks that came her way all through her career. I must say there was just too much hate coming the way of such a great musician. But it didn’t stop her from doing things her way. She never tried to repackage herself or her music to suit those criticizing her. “I feel sad she died at the point where she was repackaging her career after the BBA show. She was at the Grammy, she was about to do a song with Ciara, it is quite clear she was working to take her career to a higher level when this happened,” Eva disclosed. Asked to describe Goldie, Eva waxed lyrical. “Goldie was not just a dancer or a good singer, she was not just a pop princess, she was also an original. She was the quintessential artiste who loved to create art.” Eva equally talked to TS Weekend about her career, love life and why she can make the first move on a guy she finds attractive. Enjoy it. YOU SAID PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THE REAL GOLDIE. WHAT WAS THE REAL GOLDIE LIKE? I worked with her during her Goldie and Friends tour from Ibadan to Ife. She performed in schools in that area. It was during the tour that I discovered the workaholic Goldie. She was a perfectionist. She wanted her stage attires to look good. She ensured that her performance is worth the time of the audience. Her stagecraft was phenomenal. It is sad that all people could think of her was how to misrepresent her art. Yet, she stood by what she believed in. Here is someone that I knew for five years and she never changed her style. She never thought of changing her style because some people didn’t like it and I admire her for this. The Goldie that I knew was such a warm, sweet, childish and vibrant girl. NOW TELL US WHO EVA REALLY IS? The real Eva is vastly different from the one people know. The Eva people know is ghetto, gangster and hood. The real Eva is an introvert. I like to stay at home, cook and just enjoy my time in the house. I know my fans will like to say I have cooks and maids who do my chores, but I wasn’t raised that way. My mum ensured that I am grounded. I have been inculcated with the chore values a Nigerian child needs to excel in life. The real me puts others before herself. I am highly emotional. Unfortunately, when I step out of the house to work, I switch mode and turn to the gangster and hood person people expect me to be. I also have to get my boss-look on because in this (music) industry you have to be in control of your career. Being in control of my career is another thing I learnt from Goldie. BUT YOUR SONG, HIGH, DOESN’T SOUND LIKE WHAT CAME FROM A CONSERVATIVELY RAISED GIRL THAT YOU ARE? The song, High, is an artistic expression. I don’t smoke or drink. High wasn’t created to promote the use of illicit drugs or irresponsibility of any kind. What I meant by my getting high is that I am getting back to doing the things that I like, things that make me high. If you listen to the lyrics of the song, you will understand the literal meaning of it. I talked about how life can get one low and how happy you feel when you can get back on your feet. I, for example, have to go through the hassles of the industry but I don’t stay at the bottom. I get up and get high up where I want to be. This is why if you look at the video of the song which I co-directed and styled myself in, you get to see two Eva(s). In one scene, there is the Eva that is low in the bathtub and in another scene there is the red- haired Eva who is happy to be making music. DON’T YOU THINK THAT SOME PEOPLE WHO SAW THE CIGAR SMOKE AND OTHER STUFF IN YOUR VIDEO WOULD WANT TO IMITATE YOU? It would have been a different thing if I puffed a cigar in the video. But I didn’t. I wasn’t smoking and feeling the chemicals from cigar. In fact, the smoke is a special effect used by the director. The scene you are talking about has me in a hooded top with smoke swirling around me. I was in my dark zone from where I got into another scene where I was in my happy mode of making music. TALKING ABOUT THE DARK SIDE, WHY ARE ARTISTES INTO THESE KINDS OF THINGS THAT MAKE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE INVOLVED IN THE OCCULT? But we all know that life can be dark sometimes. People have their own problems. There isn’t a single human being who doesn’t have challenges. For me, it’s the challenges of the music industry that get me brooding sometimes. For some people, it might be marital problems, others may be struggling in school and that’s why a lot of people can relate with someone being in the dark side for a moment or two. I am not into the dark side like some people might think. IT MEANS YOU DON’T ASCRIBE TO THE ILLUMINATI TALK WHIRLING AROUND ENTERTAINERS? No. I believe in God. I believe in working hard and walking with God. I am a Christian and right now, all I’m interested in is building a good relationship with Him. There was a time I could go for weeks without picking up my Bible. All of that time I used to feel empty, but now I have chosen to relate closely with God. And it feels much better. SO HOW DOES AN INTROVERT LIKE YOU SPEND HER TIME INDOORS? I read all kinds of books from the Bible to the dictionary. I have to read because it helps me improve on my vocabulary. I need to be good with words since I write music. I like to cook. I do a lot of cooking. I have seven dogs that I love to spend time with. I watch movies at home. I don’t know why but I have never been to the cinema to watch a movie. I hang out with my family. I am not saying I am loner; I am not a sad person. But I leave my house only when there is work to do either at my make-up studio or if it is about doing music. I don’t go around partying and drinking. WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO YOU COOK? ARE YOU REALLY GOOD AT COOKING? I am a great cook. I learnt so much from my mum in the kitchen. I have also learnt stuff from market women. I know how to make delicacies from other parts of the country and Delta, my home state. The good thing about me is that my use of costumes makes it easy for me to shop for foodstuff in any market. People know me with my crazy hair colours and unique outfits. But when I step out in everyday wear, they hardly recognise me. When going to the market or doing other regular stuff I transform myself from the extra- ordinary Eva to the chic Eva. DON’T YOU CHILL WITH YOUR MAN AT HOME SINCE YOU ARE NOT KEEN ON GOING OUT? Oh!We’ve come to the part where you ask if I am single. Well, I am single. Valentine just went by and I was working on the day. MOST PEOPLE WORKED ON VAL’S DAY BUT THEY LATER WENT OUT WITH THEIR PARTNERS. HOW ABOUT YOU? I went to my hotel room after the show and I slept off. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE ASK YOU OUT ON VAL’S DAY? I don’t know. I guess they aren’t looking my way (laughter). I am single and enjoying things the way they are. Like I said, I want to have good relationship with God. I think this is the period for me to better myself and improve on my craft. I am really excited now and I just want to concentrate on my career. WHY DO YOU RELEGATE MARRIAGE TO THE BACKGROUND WHEN IT IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT CHRISTIANS BELIEVE SO MUCH IN I T? Oh yes, marriage is important to God. This is why he put Adam and Eve together. But I guess I have to wait till happens. This is not to say I am the kind that waits for a guy to make the first move. If I see a guy I like, I will walk up to him and tell him that ‘I think you’re cute and I like you’. Talking about cute men, there are so many of them in Nigeria. Nigerian men are cute and I have dated them in the past. But now, it’s not just working with any guy. TALKING ABOUT CUTE GUYS, YOU WERE ONCE LINKED TO MI. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT RELATIONSHIP? I wasn’t romantically linked to MI. I was linked to him career wise. At some point he wanted to sign me on his record label because he liked my music. But things didn’t work out as planned. Even if you try harder, you won’t be able to link with any guy. I told you that I don’t gallivant around the place. I just do my work and I mind my business. WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF LOVE? Love is love. I really don’t know how to define it. Two years ago, I would have said, love is that thing that everyone should experience. If you asked me two months back, I would have said love doesn’t exist. So, what I am saying is that people’s opinion of love changes with what they are experiencing when you ask them. In other words love is love no matter what happens. HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED TRUE LOVE? I don’t know which one is true or false love. I just enjoy the moment and share the time I have with someone else when it happens. I have learnt to enjoy the moment because you never know how long that person will be around. I know that God placed us here to share whatever we have with another person. I guess that is why Adam shared the garden with Eve! PEOPLE OFTEN TALK ABOUT HOW TOUGH IT IS FOR FEMALE RAPPERS TO MAKE IT IN THE INDUSTRY. ARE THEY CORRECT? I would say it’s tough for female entertainers on the whole not just rappers. I have been in the industry since May 2009 and all this time I have grown. I have learnt a lot in this short time. I have learnt that you have to be focused on what you want. The problem most of the time has to do with female artistes depending on people (especially men) to do things for them. And because the industry is so male dominated, women sometimes get intimidated. I think it is important for artistes to get into the industry with a clear-cut vision of what they want. When you come into the industry there are so many offers and record deals thrown at you with people promising you all sorts of things. But I tell you that I am much better an artiste doing things my way. It is important that an artiste understands his/her brand. This is something else I learnt from Goldie, she understood the kind of brand she built. She used to wear long lashes and all other stuff because it suited her brand. She didn’t bow to what others felt and I think female acts should emulate her philosophy. WHAT DO FEMALE ARTISTES NEED TO DO TO SURVIVE? They should create a brand, understand the brand and constantly build on it no matter what people say. For me, an artiste really needs to come prepared for the industry because there is so much artistes have to deal with. You have to deal with your creativity, deal with the business side and you have to fight your demons that struggle to stop you from being superb. Then you have to step out to deal with the haters who don’t see anything good about your work. It is really a crazy world female entertainers live in. It is even more complicated when you remember that there is only one spot for female artistes. What I mean is that when you look at the roasters for shows, there are the guys and one female. It is never the other way round. So, the female acts have to first become the only girl on the bill before they become one of the big acts around. WHAT DOES THE FUTURE LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? I am ready for the world. I am ready to live my life. I cannot tell you what will happen exactly. But what I know is that I will be concentrating on my work and knowing God better. I don’t like saying things like I want to own a make up line or I want to be a big act because God has the final say. Nobody can be cocksure of his or her plan. Goldie, my friend passed on recently and I can tell you she had such good plans. But now, she is no more. So, as long as I have the gift of life and I know that I can get all I need from God, I will keep looking up to him. I hope I have kids though! | | | |