send her to the devil

I need = I want
We need = I want It's your
decision = The correct decision
should be obvious by now Do
whatever you want = You are
going to pay for this later We
need to talk = I need to
complain Sure...go ahead = I
don't want you to I'm not
upset = Of course I'm upset,
you moron! You're so manly =
You need a shave and you
sweat a lot You're certainly
attentive tonight = Is sex all
you ever think about? I'm not
emotional! And I'm not
overreacting! = I have a
severe case of PMS Be
romantic, turn out the lights = I
have flabby thighs This
kitchen is so inconvenient = I
want a new house I want new
curtains = I want new curtains,
new carpeting, new furniture,
new wallpaper... I need new
shoes = the other 40 pairs are
simply the wrong shade I
heard a noise = I noticed you
were almost asleep Do you
love me? = I'm going to ask for
something expensive How
much do you love me? = I did
something today you're really
going to hate I'll be ready in a
minute = Kick off your shoes
and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm
beautiful You have to learn to
communicate = Just agree with
me Are you listening to me? =
Too late, you're dead Yes = No
No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry
= You'll be sorry I was wrong
= Not as wrong as you Do you
like this recipe? = It's easy to
fix, so you'd better get used to
it Was that the baby? = Why
don't you get out of bed and
walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm
yelling, this is important! What
a man says, what he really
means... I'm hungry = I'm
hungry I'm tired = I'm tired Do
you want to go to a movie? =
I'd eventually like to have sex
with you Can I take you out to
dinner? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you Would you
like to dance? = I'd eventually
like to have sex with you Can I
call you sometime? = I'd
eventually like to have sex
with you Nice dress! = Nice
cleavage! You look tense, let
me give you a massage = I
want to fondle you What's
wrong? = What meaningless
self-inflicted psycho trauma
are you going through now?
You look upset = I guess sex
tonight is out of the question
Yes, I love your new hairstyle
= I liked it better before Yes,
your haircut looks good = $50
and it doesn't even look
different! I like the first dress
you tried on better = Pick any
freakin' dress and let's go!a

The farmer goes to town one day
and happens to run into his old pal
the tractor salesman. "How's
business?" asks the farmer. "Not
very good, I haven't sold a tractor
in months, How are things on the
farm?" asked the salesman. "Well--
The other day I went out to the
barn to milk that old cow I have. I
started milking and she swatted
me with her tail, so I tied her tail to
the ceiling. I started milking again
and she kicked me with her left leg
so I tied that to the left side of the
stall. I started milking again and
she kicked me with her right leg so
I tied that one to the right side of
the stall. About that time my wife
walked in the barn, and if you can
convince her that I was just trying
to milk that damn cow, I'll buy a
tractor from you!!"

I was walking across a bridge one day,
and I saw a man standing on the edge,
about to jump off. I immediately ran
over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why
shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well,
there's so much to live for!" "Like
what?" "Well ... are you religious or
atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you
Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me
too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant." "Me too! Are you
Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church
of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are
you Original Baptist Church of God, or
are you Reformed Baptist Church of
God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of
God." "Me too! Are you Reformed
Baptist Church of God, reformation of
1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of
God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed
Baptist Church of God, reformation of
1915!" To which I said, "Die, heretic
scum!" and pushed him off.

A man had been driving all night and by
morning was still far from his
destination. He decided to stop at the
next city he came to, and park
somewhere quiet so he could get an
hour or two of sleep. As luck would have
it, the quiet place he chose happened to
be on one of the city's major jogging
routes. No sooner had he settled back to
snooze when there came a knocking on
his window. He looked out and saw a
jogger running in place. "Yes?" "Excuse
me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have
the time?" The man looked at the car
clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger
said thanks and left. The man settled
back again, and was just dozing off
when there was another knock on the
window and another jogger. "Excuse
me, sir, do you have the time?" "8:25!"
The jogger said thanks and left. Now
the man could see other joggers passing
by and he knew it was only a matter of
time before another o ne disturbed him.
To avoid the problem, he got out a pen
and paper and put a sign in his window
saying, "I do not know the time!" Once
again he settled back to sleep. He was
just dozing off when there was another
knock on the window. "Sir, sir? It's
8:45!."

thanks faco 4 dt comment. I av told d slut 2 go suck her own honeypot and we wud contribue cash to buy her JUPITER! Monkey dey work Baboon dey chop!

If u think so, then
1. Kill ur mum
2. Stab ur dad 4 marrying her
3. Poison ur female siblings
4. Burn 2 ashes ur girlfriend(if u av)
5. Terminate ur female relatives
6. If u have a grandma pls include her on ur Death List!

I will agree to that terms if only she can suck her own phyuking honeypot with her own mouth. Tell the idiot, stupid, proud, arrogant, FOOL to get her private jet!