Unhealthy responses to conflict are characterized by

An inability to recognize and respond to matters of great importance to the other person

Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions

The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment

The expectation of bad outcomes and,

The fear and avoidance of conflict.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 08:54 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

Managing and resolving conflict requires emotional maturity, self-control, and empathy.
It can be tricky, frustrating, and even frightening. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following conflict resolution guidelines:

Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority.
 
Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.

Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.

Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.

Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 08:58 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

Express feelings in words, not actions. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you feel you may lose control, take a "time out" and do something to help yourself feel steadier.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 09:00 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

No "hitting below the belt." Attacking areas of personal sensitivity creates an atmosphere of distrust, anger, and vulnerability.

Avoid accusations. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel

Posted: at 4-02-2011 09:01 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

Don't generalize. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.

Avoid "make believe." Exaggerating or inventing a complaint - or your feelings about it - will prevent the real issues from surfacing. Stick with the facts and your honest feelings.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 09:06 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

I rest my case.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 11:59 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

nice comment.. nice points

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:08 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

[Good job,sweetie!]

I rest my case.

Good job,sweetie!

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:10 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

If you view conflict as dangerous, it tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you go into a conflict situation already feeling extremely threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you are more likely to shut down or blow up in anger.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:17 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

nice post...readin/learnin....

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:23 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

[Good job,sweetie!]

I rest my case.

Good job,sweetie!

, THANK YOU HONEY.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:33 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

[You're welcome!]

You're welcome!

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:34 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

If you view conflict as dangerous, it tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you go into a conflict situation already feeling extremely threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you are more likely to shut down or blow up in anger.

IS ALWAYS ADVISEABLE TO BE CALM IN EVERY SITUATION NO MATTER THE HEAT, IF YOU APPROACH THE ISSUE THE WAY YOU FEEL, YOU WILL GET IT WRONG OR MAKE TOO MANY ENEMIES B4 YOU SOLUTION COME.

THE BEST IS TO STEP DOWN AND THINK.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:36 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

nice post...readin/learnin....

ENJOY.

Posted: at 4-02-2011 12:38 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

If you view conflict as dangerous, it tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you go into a conflict situation already feeling extremely threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you are more likely to shut down or blow up in anger.

IS ALWAYS ADVISEABLE TO BE CALM IN EVERY SITUATION NO MATTER THE HEAT, IF YOU APPROACH THE ISSUE THE WAY YOU FEEL, YOU WILL GET IT WRONG OR MAKE TOO MANY ENEMIES B4 YOU SOLUTION COME.

THE BEST IS TO STEP DOWN AND THINK.

Aha

Posted: at 4-02-2011 01:35 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

With most conflicts, its important to find a resolution....... This seems like a statement of the obvious, but many people suppress their anger or just go along to get along..... They think that by addressing a conflict, they are creating one, and simply keep quiet when upset

Posted: at 4-02-2011 01:50 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

T2 dear! Please set up a meeting for me with yur parents! I need to ask for yur hand in marriage on behalf of my uncle! Once we become sistas, yu can b role model n I can alwayz seek yur advise n steal yur cloths w/o feeling guilty 

Posted: at 4-02-2011 02:44 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

T2 dear! Please set up a meeting for me with yur parents! I need to ask for yur hand in marriage on behalf of my uncle! Once we become sistas, yu can b role model n I can alwayz seek yur advise n steal yur cloths w/o feeling guilty 

I NO FIT GIVE YOU MY HAND FOR MARRIAGE FOR AN UNCLE.  WE ARE SISTAS MY DEAR, AND AM ALWAYS HERE FOR UUUUU.

Posted: at 5-02-2011 12:01 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

Wow, TREASURE, BITTERSWEET and MAZI well done oooo!

Thx a lot for all dis! Much apreciated 

Posted: at 5-02-2011 02:13 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

Wow, TREASURE, BITTERSWEET and MAZI well done oooo!

Thx a lot for all dis! Much apreciated 

THANK YOU TOO

Posted: at 5-02-2011 02:29 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

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