Ladies: Why Nagging Doesnt Work. Quit Nagging Now!

Date: 21-11-2012 4:29 pm (11 years ago) | Author: uduak Sophia Monday
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- at 21-11-2012 04:29 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
If you are at your wit's end because your spouse leaves the bathroom in chaos, never cleans out the bathtub or shower, lets things slide, throws clothes on the floor, conveniently forgets to take out the trash, doesn't follow through with promises to do household chores, ignores reasonable requests to pick things up, refuses to quit smoking or lose weight, watches too much television, is on the computer a tremendous amount of time, and on, and on, and on... you may find yourself nagging or being demanding.



Face it. Nagging doesn't work!! Have you ever thought about what nagging is? Here are some related terms for nagging:faultfinding, continually complaining, criticism, catty, carping, coaxing, cynical, demanding, dunning, hairsplitting, insistent, nit-picking, overcritical, peevish, persistent, pestering, pettish, pressing, quibble, recurring, relentless, shrewish, slam, swipe, unrelenting, urging, and wheedling. However, Nagging can become a vicious cycle. The more you nag, the more your mate avoids you or withdraws both emotionally and physically from you.

Why Nagging Doesn't Work
(a) Even though your gripes may be valid, nagging makes your spouse resentful.
(b) Nagging makes your spouse defensive.
(c) Nagging puts you in the parent role and your spouse in the child role. This isn't healthy for your marriage relationship.
(d) Nagging is disrespectful.
(e) Nagging is often perceived as criticism, so your spouse may tune out making what you are saying ineffective.
(f)  When your spouse is being nagged, he/she probably feels attacked personally.
(g) Nagging can make your spouse feel inadequate.

Ways to Avoid Being a Nag
(i)   Don't blame.
(ii)  Don't demean.
(iii) Don't attack.
(iv) Don't criticize.
(v)  Don't manipulate.
(vi) Avoid making your spouse feel stupid.
(vii) Don't give in to your frustration and do your spouse's chores. Your mate needs to learn to deal with the logical consequences of being messy.

Instead of Nagging, Try Positive Approaches
(a) Share your feelings.
(b) Stick to the issue at hand.
(c) Keep your statements brief so they don't turn into long lectures.
(d) Don't make ultimatums.
(e) Avoid using the phrases, "You always..." and "You never..." and "You should..."
(f) Consider saying "would you" or "will you" rather than "could you" or "can you". There's a subtle difference in the way the request will be heard by your spouse.
(g) Set a good example in picking up after yourself, putting your clothes away or in the hamper, leaving the bathroom is good shape after your shower or bath, eating healthy foods, exercising, etc.
(h) Try to brainstorm solutions with your spouse. Hiring a housekeeper or a handyman now and then may be a good alternative for some couples.
(i) Acknowledge your different perspectives regarding chores and housekeeping expectations.
(j) Show your appreciation when your spouse does put dishes in the dishwasher, or picks up a towel, turns off the television to take a walk with you, or when dirty clothes end up in the hamper.
(k) See what happens if you stop nagging.

If you are the One Being Nagged
(1) Accept your responsibility in helping to create a home environment that has triggered a nagging response in your spouse.
(2) Honestly evaluate your attitude about chores, picking up after yourself, annoying habits, and more.
(3) Ask yourself if you have a pattern of avoidance when it comes to chores or other issues.
(4) If you ignore your mate's requests or refuse to even acknowledge that you heard what your spouse has said to you, stop this behavior. Really try to listen and to respond to your spouse. It is okay to say no. At least your spouse will know you heard what was said.


Posted: at 21-11-2012 04:29 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
- maryclaret at 21-11-2012 04:47 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Nice write up

Posted: at 21-11-2012 04:47 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- sophiebaby at 21-11-2012 04:52 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
 Kiss Kiss Kiss Cheesy

Posted: at 21-11-2012 04:52 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- godspilosky at 21-11-2012 05:05 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
I will ve to find time to read all these Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:05 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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- Biafranwar at 21-11-2012 05:08 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Poster, i salute. Keep it up
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:08 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- blessedkc at 21-11-2012 05:10 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Are serious about making money online? Here it is, visit: http://incomegrow.net?giftedhand  this is real
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:10 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- neloceleb at 21-11-2012 05:15 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
seen
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:15 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Adikpe at 21-11-2012 05:20 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
9ce one
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:20 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- austin326 at 21-11-2012 05:24 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Ok
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:24 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- cherishp at 21-11-2012 05:38 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Hmmm. This is GES 102. Oh, Lord I need an 'A' in this course. Please, help me God! Good one Poster, keep it up!!!
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:38 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- dlimelite at 21-11-2012 05:45 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Seen
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:45 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- ela214 at 21-11-2012 05:45 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
sophie nice 1,naggin indeed no dey pay Kiss
Posted: at 21-11-2012 05:45 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- micc at 21-11-2012 06:02 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
too long
Posted: at 21-11-2012 06:02 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- kennynaija at 21-11-2012 06:17 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
i can't wait Shocked Shocked Shocked

Posted: at 21-11-2012 06:17 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- lakman at 21-11-2012 07:26 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
why is it that the most educated and civilized people has the highest rate of divorce in our society today.
Posted: at 21-11-2012 07:26 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Neglito at 21-11-2012 07:55 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Husband and wife will always kwata.
Posted: at 21-11-2012 07:55 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Noble12 at 21-11-2012 08:01 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
I c
Posted: at 21-11-2012 08:01 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- PidginMOUTH at 21-11-2012 09:47 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
 Grin Grin Grin
Posted: at 21-11-2012 09:47 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
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- toibeli at 21-11-2012 09:52 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Professor Sophie don hit home run again...ooooo Cool
Posted: at 21-11-2012 09:52 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Cindy8 at 21-11-2012 10:12 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
this goes both ways. y the poster come attack women nw??
Posted: at 21-11-2012 10:12 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
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