DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RAISES IT'S UGLY HEAD AGAIN!
Domestic violence is very common in Nigeria but at the same time is overlooked. Families of woman who go through this on a daily basis encourage their daughters to stay in the matrimonial home to avoid staining the family name. Other mothers go further by encouraging their daughters to stay by telling them, they too went through such with their husbands but stayed put and endured it. Well, the days of enduring beatings that resort in broken bones, disfigurement, smashed up homes and most of all traumatized children has to stop.
Many men who inflict this suffering on women have anger issues they are yet to be resolved and if one digs deeper enough into Gbenga's upbringing, one may find that Gbenga's father dished out the same treatment to his wife - Gbenga's mother!
I wish his wife had continued with the court case she filed but it appears "family and friends" have stepped in and convinced her to drop it. If the threat is that he will marry another wife if she goes to court, be rest assured he WILL most definitely do the same again to the new "wife" and continue to get away with this behaviour.
Women societies in Nigeria should stand up and let their voices be heard in condemning the actions of this man. I know in Nigeria boycotting - of Gbenga's movies - is something alien to the Nigerian mindset, especially as the incident will not be common knowledge due to the country's illiterate rate, he should be cautioned by the police and be given a suspended sentence to let the men folk of Nigeria know this is unacceptable behavior.
The only child they have together (thank God it is only one) should have it explained to him (if he is a boy) that what he saw (if he witnessed it) is unacceptable as we do not want him doing the same to female pupils (if he is of school age) in the classroom, and eventually when he marries it continues. The truth should also be explained to him as to why his mother was in hospital with bruises. If the only child is a daughter, it should to be explained to her that she should not allow herself to be treated like this by any man and for whatever reason.
It is also common for men to be on the end of domestic violence. Yes, we have women who take out their frustrations on husbands - and these men are ashamed to let anyone know about their wife's behaviour towards them. This is especially true of men who had fathers telling them it is wrong to hit out at the female sex. These men too, should not sit down and accept this from a woman!
So to those who do engage in acts of violence (because that is what it is at the end of the day) stop it now and seek help.
Domestic violence is not common in Nigeria but what is only common is your tactic and sense at detecting those violence as a fact, as if that could solve the problem when changed, or as if that could lessen your complaints, Never! It can only be transformed or changed into other faces. Nigeria is in no way closer to the top list of most domestic violent occurrences in the world, its only in a different form. Women s minds some how are wired into following other women as a guide, and as first belief systems without question, ignoring the man in question, nothing truly logical, and lacking sensible judgement. this is why most women could keep approaching the same guy, even if they might have spoken otherwise, just because other women cherished or liked him, ignoring other guys that might have truly had what they think they need, nothing really serious to account for, just a followed up senses. Most of your problems lies in your worlds, mental rottenness, belief systems and assumptions, your female magazines or the media, no sensible agreements but manipulations and gossips, acting without even knowing how the man truly thinks, the way you often think of and about men which is absolutely wrong and different from that of the man, etc. No man would ever hurt or beat a woman he loves in anyway, Never! That s insane! Misconceptions are always a common cause of domestic violence anywhere. There are always reasons and other critical issues leading to this which you never cared to know, try to find this out and solve it, that s how you grow and not by condemning or trying to control or even change the man because of things you think or feel about him (which can never be possible or might still lead to other greater problems even if allowed, cos you always try to do the impossible even though insane), which you would still be the first to dislike and complain about the results later even if its achieved as you think you wanted it, cos you never did know what you truly wanted.
I am not a fan of a woman beater cos there are always other ways to handle such issues but those other so called mature ways are what still make women hates men in such other places where it is claimed to be in practice, leaving them still complaining, and yet still leading to all other serious forms of violence like killings, deaths, suicides, divorce, hates, etc which never did happen in Nigeria as it does to those other countries.
So defining anything, such as a man beating a woman or a woman throwing frustration or dominating the man and the man should not accept, bla bla... is always a sign of insanity and a mental rottenness and biased way of thinking when you ignore the cause, following only its effects. It never did have any bases on factual thinking for nothing ever happens without a cause. This is never a solution, get that?
| Posted: at 24-06-2013 10:44 AM (10 years ago) | Newbie |
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