I would like to tell you a story...
It is a story that you might find strangely
familiar. Don't be alarmed.
Once upon a time, there was a man who was very
attracted to a particular woman.
At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the
more he began to feel attracted to her... and
the more time he spent with her, the more that
attraction grew into a deep emotional
attachment and affection for her.
But there was one problem.
As his emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.
Why?
Because he couldn’t tell whether or not she
felt the same way towards him.
Sometimes she would say things like "You are
so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in
my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the
"friendship" stage.
There was an occasional hug, an occasional
kiss on the cheek from her... and once she even
held his hand for a long time while he talked
about an emotional issue.
But something was wrong with the picture.
She just wasn't acting like a woman that was
"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.
The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend.
Plus, the more insecure he became, the less
time she seemed to want to spend with him.
After spending many days and nights obsessing
over this girl, the man finally arrived at the
conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT,
that she would feel the same way.
So he made a bold move.
He TOLD HER how he was felt.
He confessed that he was in love, and that he
would do anything to be with her.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes
and said "Thank you... I really mean that... but
I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're
too important to me...".
This only confused the man more.
He didn't know how to take it...
Did it mean that she really loved him too, but
that she was afraid of something?
Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long-
term relationship?
Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that
she was trying to give him a hint?
Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?
Did it mean that he needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?
He finally decided that he couldn't go on like
this anymore... he had to be with her.
He had to make sure that she knew just how much
he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step,
bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long,
long letter... again confessing his feelings.
And then the unthinkable happened.
She didn't reply.
He called her three times a day for almost a
week before reaching her.
She made an excuse about being very busy, and
said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have
to go"... and hung up...
...but he never got a call back.
Over the following months, the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.
THE END
OK, I'm back.
Now, wasn't that a sweet story?
Heart warming, huh?
I know, I should keep my day job, and not take
up writing romance novels...
Now, let's talk about that story.
That story is basically a MYTH.
And I'm not talking about FICTION here.
I'm talking about a story that rings true for
a great majority of men. A story that is timeless.
A story that resonates at a deep level because you
can IDENTIFY with it.
And why does this particular story resonate for
most men?
Because we've all been there in one way or
another... at one time or another... and many of
us have been there OFTEN in our lives.
Another thing that gives this particular story
a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions
that it stirs... as a result of the powerful
negative experiences that it reminds us of...
Stories and situations like this one really
FASCINATE me.
They fascinate me because I see them as an
opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.
In this particular situation I think there is
a solution. And it lies in understanding a secret that
women know but MEN DON'T.
And that secret comes down to the reality that
if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his
attempts to confess his love, convince her to
like him, and court her BACKFIRE.
In other words, they not only DON'T WORK,
they actually make things WORSE.
In other words, the very things that a man does
to try to make a woman LIKE HIM make her NOT
like him. THEY MAKE HER RUN!
All those great intentions and emotional
dedication actually cause the man feeling them to
do things that make her go away.
Pity![/size]
Will be back!
| Posted: at | |
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