There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.
The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked,
"Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, . "Not this time"! ?
Posted: at 21-08-2008 09:13 PM (16 years ago) | Upcoming
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Posted: at 22-08-2008 12:47 PM (16 years ago) | Newbie
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
Posted: at 22-08-2008 12:48 PM (16 years ago) | Newbie
philomena87 at 22-08-2008 06:38 PM (16 years ago) (f)
Quote from: jesica on 21-08-2008 09:13 PM
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.
The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked,
"Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, . "Not this time"! ?
Posted: at 22-08-2008 06:38 PM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
prencess at 25-08-2008 11:28 AM (16 years ago) (f)
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.
The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked,
"Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, . "Not this time"! ? hahahahahah very funny infact i cant imagain how urgly that boy was that make the father react like that, may be like................
Posted: at 25-08-2008 11:28 AM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
walerian at 25-08-2008 12:44 PM (16 years ago) (m)
a man went to see a doctor abt his easily loss of memory he said..... doctor, i forget tins early n easily too. the doctor said...... how long has dis problem started? the man looked at him strangely n said....... how long has wat problem started??? and then the doctor said to himself....... dis is a huge problem.
Posted: at 25-08-2008 12:44 PM (16 years ago) | Gistmaniac
macgreat at 25-08-2008 01:03 PM (16 years ago) (m)
A man went to see a doctor abt his easily loss of memory he said..... doctor, i forget tins early n easily too. the doctor said...... the doctor gave him a very hot slap... and asked him what just happen to him what you talking about?? and then the doctor said to himself....... dis is a huge problem.
My life is BEAUTIFUL! . . don't NEED attentions, Give 'em to those who really NEED 'em. . . No Time
Posted: at 25-08-2008 01:03 PM (16 years ago) | Hero
One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.
Posted: at 25-08-2008 02:28 PM (16 years ago) | Newbie
mallorca at 28-09-2011 06:49 PM (13 years ago) (m)
Quote from: walerian on 25-08-2008 12:44 PM
a man went to see a doctor abt his easily loss of memory he said..... doctor, i forget tins early n easily too. the doctor said...... how long has dis problem started? the man looked at him strangely n said....... how long has wat problem started??? and then the doctor said to himself....... dis is a huge problem.
hahahahaha
HOPE IS MY ROAD,VICTORY IS MY DESTINY
Posted: at 28-09-2011 06:49 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
...heheh...if yu wanna smell what kebella is cooking........bring it up!!
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