If you have been away from our beloved Nigeria for some time, hence you might have actually lost any entitlement to call yourself Nigerian, let alone carry the coveted GREEN passport.
Please answer the questions below and see if you still qualify, compute your scores and let me know what you get.
1) If the sum of $700,000 was erroneously credited to your current account, what would you do?
a. Contact the bank and let them know of their mistake.
b. Act as if nothing happened and wait it out with the hope that they do not realise, then start spending.
c. Open a Swiss account,transfer the money into it then emigrate to a country where your bank could not trace you i.e Nigeria.
2) What does the sight of a person in a flowing white garment conjure to you?
a. A ghost.
b. A Ku Klux Klan member.
c. A member of a reputable spiritual church.
3) If you have good credit do you have.....
a. 1 credit card.
b. 2 credit card.
c. More than 3.
4) If someone died and left you an 1846 antique Rolex of inestimable value, would you ....
a. Get it valued and sell it.
b. Donate it to the national maritime museum so the world can view this piece of art.
c. Wear it.
5) Someone brushes past you and hits you in the process, do you...
a. Grab your wallet to check if it is still there.
b. Grab your private parts to see if they are still there.
c. Apologise and expect them to do the same.
6) You see an ad in the paper for your dream job, but they require one years more experience than you actually have, do you....
a. Not bother applying for the job.
b. Apply but tell the truth about the amount of experience you have.
c. Apply and add the one year of your CV.
d. Apply but add two years experience.
7) You meet a member of the opposite sex you fancy and fancies you, but you find out they are a multimillionaire from embezzling public funds in their country, do you ....
a. Feel disgusted and turned off because you think they are corrupt and they lack integrity.
b. Get closer because it doesn't affect the way you feel about them.
c. Become more interested in them and make getting closer to them a do or die affair.
You buy a "pay as U go phone" and before crediting it, you find out that you can make unlimited and unrestricted calls world wide, do you..a. Notify the supplier of the problem.
b. Use it until they bar the phone.
c. Use it and call your friends to use it until they bar it.
d. use it to call your friends, and charge people to use it till they bar it.
9) You have a job in an okay career, but you'll need steady career progression to get a really good salary, however your friends are getting high paid salaries in a totally unrelated field to yours, do you .....
a. Feel happy for them.
b. Find out the details and get into the field.
c. Find out the details, get into it and tell everyone you know to get into it, until supply exceeds demand and there is no money in it anymore.
Please score yourself the following for each question.
1) a-10, b-20, c-50
2) a-10, b-10, c-20
3) a-10, b-20, c-50
4) a-20, b-10, c-50
5) a-20, b-20, c-10
6) a-10, b-10, c-20, d-50
7) a-10, b-20, c-50
a-10, b-20, c-50, d-509) a-10, b-20, c-50
Results:
* If you score less than 70 - APPLICATION DENIED
Please apply for British Citizenship, you are not worthy of holding a green passport.
* Between 70-160, further cultural adaptation necessary, it is obvious that you have strong ties with Nigeria, however you need some more work done. We'll give you a 3-years residency and assess you after that.
* Between 170-260 - APPLICATION ACCEPTED
Nigerian we hail thee - you're truly one of us.
* Between 261-310 - APPLICATION GLADLY ACCEPTED
Please also try applying for govt. position or go into Nigerian politics.
* 310+ APPLICATION DENIED
You are a threat to Nigeria. Please apply for Indian or Lebanese Citizenship.
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