Unlike old wine, which gets better as it ages, a marriage of 25 years has crashed as the couple throw brickbat at each other, writes SESAN OLUFOWOBI
After being married for 25 years, Mrs. Priscilla Ogbogoh, 55, says she no longer trusts her husband, a retired director of the Federal Fire Service, Fidelis, 71. She explains that since two years ago when he brought another woman home, she had known no peace, even after she had abandoned her matrimonial home.
Now, she doesn’t sleep in her new home. She said she had become the proverbial eneke, the bird, which has learnt to fly without perching because the hunters have learnt to shoot without missing.
Indeed, Priscilla has a cause to fear: she says she has escaped no fewer than three attempts on her life, pointing accusing fingers at people close to her husband who, she insists, are fighting his war.
She says, “I don’t know my husband again. This is a man I spent 25 years with and had three children for. I think he has been bewitched.”
She told SATURDAY PUNCH that her life had not always been that of fear and flight; and that, out of the 25 years she had spent with her husband, 23 years had been wonderful.
“We got married in 1986. The court wedding was conducted by a woman popularly called Lady in Red. The church wedding was held in Our Lady Queen of Nigeria at Area 3, Abuja,” she recalls.
According to her, her husband was wonderful and they did things in common. As Fidelis rose in the FFS and Priscilla became a building contractor, the family started amassing fortune. It wasn’t long before they acquired houses in Lagos, Abuja and London.
“What struck me most about my husband was his patience and support in the first nine years of our marriage. In those years, I was unable to have children for him, yet he was a strong pillar of support.
“I even suggested to him that he married another woman who would give him children, but he refused and was strong for me until I had our first child in 1995. We later had two other girls,” she says.
However, things took a different turn in 2009 after a mild disagreement between the couple, Priscilla claims. According to the heart-broken woman, Fidelis said he wanted to sell their house in London, but she disagreed. She told our correspondent that her decision was informed by the fact that if the house was sold, there would be no place for the family to stay when they visited London.
She notes, “Apart from that, I also noticed some subtle changes in my husband. I knew that he dated other women and I had no quarrel with that; but since this particular woman, Oluchi Omenagor, entered his life, he has changed drastically.
“After the disagreement over the house in London, he came home on a particular day and dropped a note that I must agree with the sale of the house or leave our matrimonial home in Gadwa Estate in Abuja. Our security guard warned me about the security issue; so, I ran from the house and went to my own house in Jabi area of Abuja.”
Priscilla explained that her husband became desperate because since the house was jointly owned, he could not sell it without her consent.
“I lodged a formal complaint with the police and the officers at the Abuja Police Command called us and advised us to settle the issue amicably. After that, I travelled to London and came back in January 2010,” she says.
In February 2010, two incidents happened in the household, which further aggravated the discord between Fidelis and his wife.
“My son died on February 1 and my husband insisted that he should be buried that day, without autopsy or any explanation. Even when the cemetery attendant said it was late and that we should come back the following day, my husband insisted that our son must be buried that day.
“Again, on February 10, hired assassins came to my house, but they did not succeed in killing me. However, they killed my driver. I went to the police and insisted that it was my husband and the new woman that sent the killers. Our families waded in and we decided to see if we could make things work out again,” Priscilla says.
Things did not work out as Priscilla had hoped. Since the other woman was already living with Fidelis, she said she asked him if she and the remaining children could live in another house belonging to him in the same Gadwa Estate. Fidelis, she claimed, did not reply her but wrote to tell her that if she needed anything, she should contact his lawyer.
She says, “It went on like that until April this year when I filed for divorce. I also got to know that he had made a new will and given everything to the new woman and the child she had for him. But they know that it cannot work because most of our properties are jointly owned.
“I left for London afterwards and only came back recently. On June 24, a strange fellow followed me to the church and later came to my house. I have reasons to believe that someone is after me again and I am suspecting those close to my husband.
“They should leave me alone and let me take care of my children. Right now, I cannot stay in any place for a long time. Since I came back, I have been moving about so as to escape being killed.”
Curiously however, Fidelis dismissed his wife’s claim as that of a disillusioned person. The retired firefighter said that the truth was that his wife needed medical attention. “And if you tell her that, you will become her enemy. She has been like that and she has refused my suggestion that we seek medical aid,” he says.
Fidelis, in a telephone interview with our correspondent, said that nobody was after Priscilla, adding that the incident in which her driver died was a robbery case. He explains, “Any other stories she told you after that, she made them up. When she accused me of wanting to kill her and instead killed her driver, the police investigated the allegation and cleared me.
“One day, I was called from the hospital in the morning that my son was dead. He was not living with me; he was living with her. It was after he died that I was called and I went down there and made arrangements for the burial. It was a tragedy and I see no reason for delay in his burial. Her accusations lack merit and are those of a deranged mind.
“I am tired of all her hassles. She thought that I will succumb to her wishes the way I had been doing in the past; but this time, she will fail. Every marriage has its own problems, but her problems are more defined and pronounced. She just wants to acquire and acquire, she is not thinking of her family, her children.
“The properties belong to me and the only one she is claiming also belongs to me. She forged the documents and I have reported her to appropriate authorities.”
Omenagor said that Priscilla’s allegations are those coming from a mad woman. She said, “If she has proof, let her go to the police.”
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