Marriage in Africa is bedevilled with so many problems that have not only continued to threaten it as an institution but also,led to her breaking down irretrivably or strained and headed for the rocks.Among the problems are these five which I consider as most vicious and common killers of marriage
Parental Influence and Control Most parents have refused or rather don't seem to understand that having married,their children cease to be under their control and somewhat overbearing influence.As a result,they still want to dictate and live the life of their married children for them like telling them how they have lived with their own mother or father and expecting them to emulate them.This often lead to either the man/woman saying:'in my house or place,we don't do like this or that'.This is the begining of crisis. Invitation/Submission to Third Party Some couple make the mistake of inviting and submitting to a third party when there is problem in their home.The truth of the matter is nobody knows or understands the problem at hand morethan the people involved.Bringing in a third to resolve dispute more often than not only aggravate the problem than solve it.The problem can actually be settled if the parties look inwards and tolerate eachother.
Unguided Utterances One of the issues that contibutes to marital problems is unguided utterances from either the couple themselves or their family members.Some families owing to the fact that there are inequality in the society and some being more advantaged than the others,the privileged ones often look down on the less privileged.This is sometimes extended to marriages.Couples carry their family pride to their marriages to the detriment of the union.
Unnecessary Comparison There is no reason or basis for comparison in marriage.Mr A or B are living in high brow areas or that they just bought the most expensive car or moved into a new apartment should not be a ground for you to breath down the neck of your hubby.Also,that Mr C is always taking his wife to the market or helping her out with chores don't mean that your husband must do same.Learn to take life in your strides.
Unhealthy Association This is an information age and there is no doubt about this.However,information if not well managed could be disastrous.The agitation for gender equality is a problem.God never created male and female as equals.One is meant to love and lord over the other,while the other is to respect and obey.Unfortunately,it is not so any more.Different opinion group,advocacy group,agitation group,etc all play a role in the make or mar of marriages.Couples should be careful of indoctrination and be able to draw the necessary line neede to make their marriage work.
Posted: at 26-07-2011 09:37 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
interpo77 at 26-07-2011 11:52 AM (13 years ago) (m)
b4 now africa mostly nigeria is the continent -country where marriage do last for long , today,each hours that passes , there re every possibility of marriage seperations,killings, fighting etc, some where now as we re reading , a divorce is going on now in a court ,indurance,tolerant,forgiveness, love has died in our african marriage today. that is what we learnt fast from our western life
Posted: at 26-07-2011 11:52 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Marriages break very often now because people tend to marry 'who they think they love' and after few years they say "the spark is not there any more". You should not marry the one you love but love the one you marry. Look at the arranged marriages that took place in the times of our grand father, it last till death because they loved the one they married and also during that time divorce was not celebrated as it is today. Today people are so happy and they find it fashionable to say "that is my baby mama or that is my child's father".
Posted: at 26-07-2011 12:43 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
martha4228 at 26-07-2011 12:53 PM (13 years ago) (f)
My advice to young couples is simply this: Don't permit the possibility of divorce to enter your thinking. Even in moments of great conflict and discouragement, divorce is no solution. It merely substitutes a new set of miseries for the ones left behind.
Guard your relationship against erosion as though you were defending your very lives. Yes, you can make it together. Not only can you survive, but you can keep your love alive if you give it priority in your system of values.
Posted: at 26-07-2011 12:53 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie
b4 now africa mostly nigeria is the continent -country where marriage do last for long , today,each hours that passes , there re every possibility of marriage seperations,killings, fighting etc, some where now as we re reading , a divorce is going on now in a court ,indurance,tolerant,forgiveness,love has died in our african marriage today. that is what we learnt fast from our western life
My brother when the environment is unconducive,love might choke and die.Love grows and mutures as well given the right environment or condition.The issues listed are some of thelove killers and must be avoided in marriages much as we can.
Posted: at 26-07-2011 01:57 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
you r right, but the most is..... failure to look into each orther's EYE'S to see the reason God created man, and created them man and woman... i mean sharing the same ( value ) and living to understand that they are the same body, soul, born, blood. before God seprated them and make woman out of man.
Posted: at 26-07-2011 05:34 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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